I love pizza! Who doesn't? I mean, I wouldn't be able to trust a person who doesn't like pizza. That seems like an enemy of the state. And I love many, many ingredients that are tossed on top of pizza. I will duel to the death if I must, but I defend.... PINEAPPLE, on pizza. Yes I said it. But I judge anyone ok with anchovies. They are the work of the devil. Let's discuss what is decent for a pizza.
Redditoru/dawnsicwanted to discuss blasphemy and pizza by asking:
What's the worst pizza topping EVER?
Any meat is a definite plus. Any vegetable needs discussion. Any fruit... we need a town hall. Not everything belongs on pizza. Let's see some ideas...
Baby Drinking GIF by reactionseditorLute Who?
"Lutefisk"
"Dried cod that has been treated with lye to preserve it. It's a Christmas tradition among some Norwegian American immigrants in places like ND and MN. Once soaked, rinsed, and baked in butter it takes on a gelatinous texture. I can choke it down when prepared well but it's not good."
Too Much Red
"I've mentioned this before, but I once had the displeasure of eating a pizza where they apparently decided to use ketchup instead of the usual marinara sauce. Worst pizza I have ever eaten in my life. Please never do this, people. Just because they are both red doesn't mean you can substitute one for the other!"
- Gurasola
The Sog...
"Worked at a pizza restaurant. A customer used to come in every Friday and bring us, sealed from the factory so we could use it behind the counter, baked tofu. Now, I've had baked tofu but this stuff was different. It was verging on silken. We would put it on there for her... with no cheese... and only a little sauce... and it would make the pizza into a soggy mess. She came back every week for one. Tipped us 5 bucks every time. It didn't even resemble pizza anymore. And it stunk when we cooked it... like feet."
Oy No!
man oyster GIFGiphy"At a company lunch, one jacka** insisted on an oyster pizza. No one ate it."
I'm Dead
"Once found a cockroach baked into the cheese... So yeah, cockroach."
"Okay... now this is scary. Imagine it's baked in there but certain toppings are stopping you from seeing it and then you take a bite."
- ZooWap
Ok. I'm ok with a few things there and a few things I'm a big "NO" on! Oysters? Are you kidding? And roaches are everywhere, so be aware.
Horror
Janet Varney No GIF by IFCGiphy"Finally, I can pour my heart out. In Taiwan there are two types of pizza's with horrifying toppings. One has rooster balls as a topping, the other one has cilantro, century egg and pig blood cake as toppings."
Durian
"In Shenzhen they had a Durian pizza place. I couldn't bring myself to try it though."
"Edit: found someone that was braver than I was. This is a different shop, but it looks about the same."
"I've had it. The first bite or two with durian on it is ok. Then you go in for another and it's like, "I can't do anymore of this". And pull all the remaining durian off. The flavor is still there, but at least there's no giant chunks. And then you have durian burps for the next 6 hours."
- tnp636
In Korea...
"Whatever they're doing to pizza in Korea. Mayonnaise and cinnamon apple with chocolate syrup and one still beating heart of an artichoke or whatever. I dunno, they get weird with it over there. The impression I got was that in America we see pizza as a simple fast food and in Korea they see it as some kind of delicacy."
"Edit: ok in hindsight, artichoke heart isn't that uncommon. But it just sounded funny in the moment."
WHAT?!
Excuse Me Reaction GIF by One ChicagoGiphy"Peppermint."
"They make mint jelly. Get some of that, put it on a pizza, and try to eat it. You won't make it past bite 5."
Food has gotten so complicated. Why can't we just be simple? Don't overthink the menu. It can quickly get out of hand.
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