Our parents should be able––and willing––to protect us and to fight for our best interests. But that's not always the case, and the unlucky ones can spend years seeking mental health counseling to figure out what went wrong.
Our parents are human and they have the ability to disappoint us and devastate us like anyone else. It just hurts a little more, as we were reminded once Redditor banbidoe asked the online community,
"What's the worst thing your parents ever said to you?"
"My family..."
"My family never went on vacations, we couldn't afford them."
"When I was 18 my parents told me that they were going out west to see the Grand Canyon, do some hikes, etc. I exclaimed how cool and fun that would be. Then my dad said, "Oh, you're not going. You're staying here with Sally (16). We're only taking Mary (14) and Jeff (12)."
"I froze for a minute, trying to compute what he said. "Why can't we come?" I finally asked."
"You have summer jobs."
"We can take time off..."
"Well, we just can't afford to take you."
"They had a really fun time without us. I still think about it over ten years later."
This is heartbreaking. Do you even talk to these people anymore?
"10 years later..."
"One month after my sister died unexpectedly, I was having a complete breakdown about it and called my mother for comfort."
"Get over it." She told me, before hanging up."
"10 years later in therapy, I was finally able to trace the start of our relationship breakdown to this moment."
"I hate that phrase now."
It's such a dismissive phrase, especially so in a circumstance like that.
"I'm 30 now..."
"My dad telling my brothers (10 & 6 years old) and I (8 years old) over and over again that we should go find a new dad because he didn't want to be ours anymore while ranting and raving after our mom served him with divorce papers. The best part is that he would also tell us "You'll understand why when you're older." I'm 30 now and the only thing I understand is that he's a lunatic."
Sounds like you cut him off and if so, good riddance to bad rubbish.
"They told me..."
"They told me they didn't want me, they wanted a girl so they tried again and got lucky and had the girl they wanted."
It must be an awful feeling to be second best to your own sibling. Parents should not do this. It only breeds resentment.
"I'm adopted..."
"I'm adopted, and at one point my mom said to me "If I had known you'd grow up to be so screwed up I would have picked another child," as if my physical conditions are my fault somehow and my mental disorders aren't at least in part caused by how she raised me."
Your mother sounds like she doesn't appreciate you. She might be incapable of it.
"That I was faking my depression..."
"That I was faking my depression, and I need to "man up."
This so harmful. Depression is real and so painful. You are not alone.
"When I was 15..."
"When I was 15, my dad patted my belly and said "put on some weight haven't you?"
"Which is probably not the worst thing in this list, but as I was already struggling with my body image, this was the last nudge I needed to push me into an eating disorder."
I've had relatives say similar things to me in the past. I get it; it's so painful.
"After my sister died..."
"After my sister died, I was in a very dark place mentally / emotionally. The way I dealt with the grief was to keep it bottled up inside - I know it wasn't healthy, but that's how I survived the trauma. My mother was frustrated that I never talked about my sister. I couldn't even say her name or visit her grave. I did attend the funeral, but after that I went back to my silent grief."
"One day, my mother was pushing me to talk about what happened. I was frustrated because I didn't want to talk about it and she wouldn't let it go. My mother told me I disgraced my sister's memory by not talking about her, and it broke me."
Everyone grieves in their own way. Hopefully you're in a better place mentally and emotionally.
"My Dad once told me..."
"My Dad once told me that no girl would love me because I'm fat. That cut me like a knife! There are people who love fat people!"
"Who does he think he is?"
He clearly has no idea what he's talking about!
The ones we love the most absolutely know the right buttons to push when it comes to an insult.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know below.
@lpeterp/Bluesky
@FPWellman/X
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