Gender roles have evolved over time, which includes the roles of spouses in a "traditional marriage."
While the concept of traditional marriage is actually quite modern and differed in cultures around the world, most people envision the homes of sitcoms like Father Knows Best and Leave It to Beaver from the 1950s and early 1960s when they think of a traditional marriage.
Those families were always pure fiction, but the image of the husband as sole breadwinner and the wife as the caretaker of the home, children and husband still became the norm for a time. Many women entered the workforce during WWII, but after the war, many were forced back into a traditional role as stay-at-home wife and mother.
In the 1970s, laws across the country changed allowing more women independence. Dubbed the sexual revolution, women once again entered the workplace in large numbers.
Now, some modern families have reversed those stereotypical gender roles displayed in those old TV shows. Some families have two wives or two husbands or only one parent.
But some people want to maintain those old "traditional" roles. And there's nothing wrong with that.
Unless they think everyone should.
It's unclear if that was the intent of Twitter user Brylea Kay, or @_brylealangley, when she posted:
"call me old fashioned, but i was raised to take care of my husband"
"make his plate every night, wash his work clothes for him, make sure he's up for work the next morning, always have a clean house for him to come home to, etc."
"and that's exactly wife i will be"
call me old fashioned, but i was raised to take care of my husband make his plate every night, wash his work cloth… https://t.co/HzrV0QIbzD— brylea kay (@brylea kay)1560215635.0
But whether she was merely stating her own personal preference or making a statement about husbands and wives who choose not to follow her "old fashioned" ways, people on Twitter assumed it was the latter.
Brylea Kay quickly found herself in the midst of a tweet storm.
@_brylealangley @JonAKAMrGetThe1 I take care of my boyfriend since we live together, but I’m not trying to be his m… https://t.co/CCZIP6EjV3— Codi (@Codi)1560259353.0
@_brylealangley Sooooo do you get to pursue any hobbies or passions or is your full time job being a mother to a fully grown adult man?— breadmom 🍞 (@breadmom 🍞)1560399349.0
@I_amMika @stefsanjati @_brylealangley Let's not question the person who has the notion of marriage as servitude fo… https://t.co/rfa0j7BOLt— Sam!, the one who meows back. (@Sam!, the one who meows back.)1560403044.0
@_brylealangley My man ain’t attracted to no bitch, we can hire someone to do that shit for us. We prefer to spend… https://t.co/5d8ixlPDP8— ElenaKoshka (@ElenaKoshka)1560386226.0
@elenakoshkaxoxo @_brylealangley Damn Elena 😂 You Aren’t Wrong Though 💁♀️— LacyLennon (@LacyLennon)1560386400.0
@_brylealangley @Sirenaaa_ I was taught that in a relationship you help take care of each other and help out each other— Victoria Davis (@Victoria Davis)1560273868.0
@_brylealangley Brylea the thing you're describing is being a mom— Eliot (@Eliot)1560346014.0
@_brylealangley https://t.co/3toFgxxMhX— Cassidy Cruise (@Cassidy Cruise)1560291657.0
But not everyone went in on Brylea Kay.
Some people supported the idea of her life, her choice.
@_brylealangley And it's totally okay because you know your husband will also take care of you with his own ways. M… https://t.co/RbfPa067sU— SELVIANA (@SELVIANA)1560438569.0
@samecontent @I_amMika @stefsanjati @_brylealangley i thought feminism was abt letting women have the power to choo… https://t.co/RvFMbm9OSJ— kuma (@kuma)1560414220.0
@_brylealangley It's your choice to be the kind of wife and woman you want to be.— L' Homme Noir (@L' Homme Noir)1560565881.0
People who had been married for decades offered their perspectives.
@_brylealangley Yes! It’s a great way to show your man RESPECT. It’s worked for me for 23 years so far.— Kellynn (@Kellynn)1560219570.0
@veeezinthetrap @_brylealangley I take care of the house and kids, he takes care of the outside and the big stuff.… https://t.co/f6XRPIrcJ7— Kellynn (@Kellynn)1560280829.0
@_brylealangley @MeekerAddi I’ve been married 30 years. Marriage is a partnership, with give and take and mutual re… https://t.co/WLWlOOv9Mj— LiberalLinda (@LiberalLinda)1560284561.0
But some of them got some pushback too.
@Danes_girl_90 @veeezinthetrap @_brylealangley I’m just interested in the idea that only men need to “chill out” af… https://t.co/BmXf55GF4w— Stephanie Rice⚕⚯͛△⃒⃘ϟ 9¾ (@Stephanie Rice⚕⚯͛△⃒⃘ϟ 9¾)1560303017.0
@RiceRiceBaybee @Danes_girl_90 @_brylealangley and why it’s assumed that we r stay at home mothers when it comes to… https://t.co/eyFQS57t08— BABYFACE (@BABYFACE)1560367741.0
@veeezinthetrap @RiceRiceBaybee @Danes_girl_90 @_brylealangley Son of a stay at home dad and a mom who is a Vice Pr… https://t.co/LAKymcoPZY— Swamp Thing IS pissed off at being canceled. (@Swamp Thing IS pissed off at being canceled.)1560557836.0
People had questions.
@justkelly_ok @parisinallcaps @_brylealangley I'll be honest. I would love to have a home cooked meal waiting for m… https://t.co/7TD94Z1zI3— Jordan Reiter (@Jordan Reiter)1560391692.0
@jordanreiter @parisinallcaps @_brylealangley Who wouldn't? But why is that determined by gender? Both partners can cook for each other.— Kelly Ellis (@Kelly Ellis)1560459383.0
@justkelly_ok @parisinallcaps @_brylealangley Yeah after posting it I realized it might have come across as support… https://t.co/jiGVvu87rq— Jordan Reiter (@Jordan Reiter)1560459963.0
@_brylealangley Does this mean that you’re a stay at home wife or does this mean that you go to work like your husb… https://t.co/V8znT5tiQQ— Black Mamba (@Black Mamba)1560235614.0
@YesiBroXo @_brylealangley I'm a stay at home mom and my husband doesn't treat me like we're in the 50's. He knows… https://t.co/omE3gQJqeG— 𝐌𝐫𝐬♡𝐙𝐢𝐞𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐫 (@𝐌𝐫𝐬♡𝐙𝐢𝐞𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐫)1560289821.0
@sadeziegler_ @YesiBroXo @_brylealangley Thank you! Stay at home moms dont get their work measured in a paycheck bu… https://t.co/1VMDLsupXr— sonny bones (@sonny bones)1560304573.0
@meikilove Exactly! My husband works 70 hours a week and still cooks, does yard work, takes care of our daughter, g… https://t.co/PY13lMKel7— 𝐌𝐫𝐬♡𝐙𝐢𝐞𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐫 (@𝐌𝐫𝐬♡𝐙𝐢𝐞𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐫)1560306176.0
But some women offered both sides, having lived the life Brylea described then changing their mind.
@_brylealangley Hen I did all this.... it doesn’t work. It becomes “expected” of you and then you just become the house skivvy.... I left.— 🏴🅂🄲🄾🅄🅂🄴🅆🄴🄴🄶🄸🄰🄽 (@🏴🅂🄲🄾🅄🅂🄴🅆🄴🄴🄶🄸🄰🄽)1560323155.0
@JavierVelez83 @EliotETC @_brylealangley I thought like this when I first got married, and I strive to be like this… https://t.co/KLQlSAp1WH— Marla Lynch (@Marla Lynch)1560358421.0
@JavierVelez83 @EliotETC @_brylealangley ....to make sure he is up for work. That is not your responsibility. And h… https://t.co/ko6R4VjKvJ— Marla Lynch (@Marla Lynch)1560358605.0
@JavierVelez83 @EliotETC @_brylealangley ....delicious meals. He never expected my mom to act like his maid. She ap… https://t.co/1ZqhzrchF2— Marla Lynch (@Marla Lynch)1560358791.0
@JavierVelez83 @EliotETC @_brylealangley ....with my ridiculous standards for myself, but I’m glad I eventually did… https://t.co/H00Dp3JjLq— Marla Lynch (@Marla Lynch)1560358922.0
@JavierVelez83 @EliotETC @_brylealangley @kristynicole84 My husband’s mother and father were very “1950’s tradition… https://t.co/f2QyzlSSFo— Marla Lynch (@Marla Lynch)1560362144.0
@JavierVelez83 @EliotETC @_brylealangley @kristynicole84 ....For years, my husband did not learn to carry out basic… https://t.co/z0u4Jgc5xJ— Marla Lynch (@Marla Lynch)1560362300.0
@JavierVelez83 @EliotETC @_brylealangley @kristynicole84 ....especially after our kids came along. It has taken thr… https://t.co/uTGlJ6RCx8— Marla Lynch (@Marla Lynch)1560362422.0
@JavierVelez83 @EliotETC @_brylealangley @kristynicole84 ....housework all of the time. I have been able to become… https://t.co/zGiB8FQtWd— Marla Lynch (@Marla Lynch)1560362531.0
@JavierVelez83 @EliotETC @_brylealangley @kristynicole84 ....to be responsible for the first thing in the morning.… https://t.co/GdJ96zSsUI— Marla Lynch (@Marla Lynch)1560362586.0
For some women, Brylea's idea of marriage was a definite "no."
@_brylealangley Call me progressive but I would take being single any day over having to raise my husband 🤷🏼♀️— 🛸 (@🛸)1560303369.0
@autreysound @_brylealangley Been there, divorced that.— Andi Cope (@Andi Cope)1560448591.0
In the end, it really all comes down to being free to choose how you want to live your life. If this is truly Brylea's choice, more power to her.
But if this is an ideal she is forced to follow out of guilt or parental pressure, it's a recipe for future unhappiness.
Husbands and wives can express their own marriage philosophy for the public to see.