We can only hope not to run into anyone who could turn out to be a stalker or some other kind of creep. There are steps we can take to protect ourselves, naturally, but even the most careful people can find themselves in unsettling situations.
After Redditor AmpDragoness asked the online community, "What was the moment that you realized that someone was obsessed with you in an unhealthy way? What tipped you off?" people shared their stories. Some of these experiences are more unnerving than others.
Warning: Sensitive material ahead.
"I was bartending..."
Let me preface this with, I've never been a big social media user. It's too personal, too intrusive.
I was bartending at a local hole in the wall and I had a regular that was nice & flirty (typical bartender/customer stuff). One day he says to me "You were at John's* house Sunday morning. You guys a thing?" I asked him how he knew I was there & he said he saw my car. I was a little taken aback but I was parked on the main road & my car was fairly distinctive, so I didn't think much of it.
A couple weeks later he'd made a joke that I was never home, cos my car was always gone when he passed by. That made the hair on my neck stand up, but again I don't exactly live off of the beaten path, so ok. When I really 𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙬 that it was more than casual observations was when he started complimenting me on different outfits & hairstyles I wore on my days off or prior to my shift. He'd also make comments about receiving packages or coming home with after shopping ("You should find someone who would carry those groceries into the house for you. I'd never make you carry the bags in the house after all that shopping you did on Saturday.")
It was really creepy and I couldn't shake the feeling of being watched for a long time.
"When she started sending nudes..."
When she started sending nudes to my work email because I asked her to stop contacting me. I changed my snapchat account and blocked her number, but my work email is on my company's website, so she found it.
That was a awkward conversation with my IT guys.
"This guy at college..."
This guy at college would follow me EVERYWHERE. One day, I just went out to buy my lunch and he came with me. He didn't buy anything, just followed me. Even when I told him he was making me uncomfortable, he still would not leave me alone. I didn't wanna sound rude though.
Eventually, I started trying to get on the bus with me when I would head home. That was the last straw for me. The next time He tried to follow me onto the bus, and actually managed to step on, I pushed him off and urgently told the driver to close the doors. The driver instantly took the hint and shut them. I told him the guy was stalking me, showed my student ID which allowed me on the bus for free, and took a seat.
The next day, the guy had the audacity to ask me why I didn't let him come home with me. I told him to stop following me around from then on.
"I saw his vehicle parked out front..."
When my dad showed up to my place of work. We had been estranged, but he knew I worked at Starbucks and had traveled from location to location to figure out where I had transferred to and when my shifts were scheduled. Even had the balls to call the store and pretend to be me to get my schedule information. I saw his vehicle parked out front and freaked out and ran inside. He followed in after about thirty minutes (right as the morning rush was hitting full swing) and started berating me in front of all my coworkers and customers.
That's the day I went and learned about restraining orders.
"When I was stationed..."
When I was stationed in Korea and my ex girlfriend kept emailing my wife from different emails pretending to be women in Korea that I was cheating on her with. My wife and I had a pretty good laugh about it and she eventually came clean. Her husband was not happy about her still obsessing over me.
"As a bus driver..."
As a bus driver you're expected to be cheerful and chat with whoever while idle. A regular passenger started riding around, always in the front seat. Over a week or two the conversation got quite personal, always by her initiative. I told my supervisor about this just to cover my ass. Then she started to bring me gifts, cookies, candy beverages. Finally, she invited me over for a meal, so her mom could meet her boyfriend! I had zero interest in the young woman, didn't want anything to do with her. Luckily, she moved or just avoided the bus during my shift.
"When he started acting..."
When he started acting like he couldn't survive without me directly by his side at all times. I had met him a week earlier, only spoke to him briefly, and never flirted or had any romantic or sexual interactions with him.
He literally just stalked me and physically put himself at my side like a Siamese twin, going as far as pushing other people away from "his" spot, and threatening to kill himself when I brought it up with him. Yeah, nah thanks.
"My sister brought home..."
My sister brought home "my" spiral notebook from school. She thought it was mine because it had my name written and doodled covering every page. Turns out it was a girl who was obsessed with me.
"I was chatting with a gal online..."
I was chatting with a gal online through a dating site. She was nice enough and we were having good conversations, but had not yet even began speaking on the phone. It turns out a friend of hers was friends with one of my friends. Small world.
I'm at home one day puttering around and I hear a knock at my door, I look out the window and see a car I don't recognize. My hink meter starts pinging so I pull a butcher knife, brace my foot so the door can only open a bit and crack the door. She is standing there and tells me she got the address from my friend and asking to come in. I was weirded out and declined, she got upset and started crying and telling me how this was supposed to be a pleasant surprise. I tried to send her on her way gently and she got pissed and stormed off and drove away.
I thought that was it. Then she starts emailing me saying she loves me, then starts calling me, (my idiot friend gave her my number), and leaving gifts at my door that would be there in the morning.i lived in Mesa, AZ, she was in Tucson about an hour away. I eventually had to threaten her with a restraining order. My friend had talked to hers about what was going on she said, "Oh yeah, she's nuts, she's done this before."
I felt a lot better when I left the state.
"That week..."
Broke up with a boyfriend of three months. That week, I received thousands of texts from him ranging from "I love you, we can make this work" to "you fucking c*nt.". Don't know why it took three months to see the crazy, but I'm glad I eventually put it together.
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