People Share Their 'Sex Sent Me To The Hospital' Experiences

People made surprising discoveries after the fact.

Accessory To Pain

"After bar in a pretty aggressive makeout session. Something felt weird so I excused myself to the restroom. Looked in the mirror and saw that her hoop earring had impaled my cheek and was just dangling off the side of my face."

"Pulled it out, swabbed some rubbing alcohol on it, and got back to business. It was super weird because there was literally no pain at all. Like it must've missed every nerve ending"

– ManBroCalrissian

Upon Oral Examination

"I have 'jaw and throat sprain from vigorous oral sex' in my medical record.....I went to emergency thinking I had mumps. I did not."

– elletee80

People got more than they bargained for while getting some action.

What The Buck

"I once dislocated my shoulder while going down on my girlfriend. I had my arms under her legs and she jerked one leg suddenly, hitting my upper arm and dislocating it."

"In the emergency room, the person doing intake listened to our story and said 'I’m going to put down "horseplay" to which my girlfriend replied, 'what am I, a horse?'”

– avec_serif

Literally Mind-Blowing

"Pretty standard: bent the pole between thrusts."

"Pretty rare: During a BJ I got Transient Global Amnesia (TGA) which caused me to lose the previous 48 hours. It can be triggered by orgasm and it was scary AF. Forgot how I got where I was, where I was going, who I was meeting. I remembered my name, address, family etc but had no idea what day of the week it was... it all came back after 24 hours with the exception of a 20min period."

– haylofx

Bigger Isn't Always Better

"When I was single and dating around, thoroughly enjoying my divorce, I would chat with my female friends about my encounters with men. It wasn't a secret that I prefer them big. Then one day, I met this guy who was gorgeous, smart, funny, great kisser, EVERYTHING I could have ever asked for! We go to the bedroom, his unir is too big. It was painful. Tried it again a few weeks later, because your cervix changes during certain times of your cycle. Still doesn't fit. Had to say goodbye to that one..."

– Dependent_Top_4425

Aggressive Pole-Rider

"Bent my unit in half to the point I screamed and rolled over."

"Next day she showed up with an ice cream cake saying 'sorry I broke your d*ck written on it.'"

"Said the guy at dairy queen lost his sh*t while writing it."

– Spenraw

Miscalculation

"Went to flip over onto my back for missionary, overestimated how much bed was there, fell off the side and slashed my back on the edge of the dresser."

– cheeezus_crust

Beware of liquids.

The Ole Switcheroo

"Not mine but a friend. Hand sanitizer and lube in similar containers near the bed resulted in a sanitized vagina."

– lopaco93

Effects Of Alcohol

"Not an injury per se, but we had to stop and I had to run to the shower immediately."

"We had both been drinking and decided to move it into the bedroom. I was on top. We were both super into it and I grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took a big swig straight from the bottle. He thought it was hot and decided he wanted to do a shot off my body... he missed some, and it continued down... I was really into what was happening, so it took a second for the pain to register."

"Holy sh*t, that burned. I hopped off of him, explaining that I felt like I had been set on fire, and ran to the shower to hose off."

"Lesson learned - whiskey does not belong anywhere near there."

"Still one of my favorite sex fail stories."

– Katemonster89

Lesson Learned

"I learned the hard way never to got eat hot wings and then go down on your date. I thought I was doing a good job, I got a black eye from her heel from it 🤦♂️"

– houseDJ1042

Safe sex is important.

But no one ever thought that would ever extend beyond protecting oneself from getting STDs.

Let's just say an emergency trip to the hospital can come with quite the story.