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Oh, Reddit. What would we do without a repository for all the embarrassing things we have done?
The subreddit "TIFU", which is short for "Today I [Screwed] Up", sees people telling their story about how they did something innocuous that led to a lot of problems.
Well, you read the headline so you know where this is going.
Reddit user Tonks420 tells her story about how her jaw got stuck open after pleasuring her boyfriend.
She opens by explaining her current situation.
"This didn't happen today, but on the day before Christmas eve. For some back story, I am 30 weeks pregnant and had some serious complications that I had to be air transferred to a hospital 6 hours from my home and had to spend a week in this unfamiliar hospital to be monitored as the doctors were afraid I was going to give birth far earlier than expected."
"My boyfriend and I spent over a week stuck in the hospital and when I was finally deemed safe to go back home, especially right before the holidays, we were ecstatic."
Her pregnancy complications might seem unimportant, but it explains their thinking later on.
You see, they got a little frisky.
"It was about a 6 hour drive home back to our city, and after a long drive and an even longer week of being confined to the hospital. We got home around 10pm, and settled in for a night of relaxation with our cats and Netflix."
"Due to complications of my pregnancy, we are unable to have penetrative intercourse but we were both feeling frisky so he went down on me, gave me a few O's and of course I was happy to return the favor. So there I am, with a mouthful of dick, eagerly giving him some very enthusiastic head and he comes."
"As I pull my mouth away, I realise I couldn't swallow. I then also realise my mouth is stuck open. This has happened before, sometimes while yawning most often but I usually can click my jaw back into place easily. This time felt different."
Uh-oh.
Yeah, she got her jaw locked open. They tried to Google solutions and called health lines, but it all led to the same answer.
They had to go to the hospital.
"At the hospital, the emergency room was PACKED. We were informed there was only one doctor on for the night and the wait was an anticipated 9-12 hours. We had no choice. My boyfriend thoughtfully got me one of those face masks to cover your mouth usually for coughing because my jaw was hinged open and I was pouring drool that I wasnt able to swallow."
"We spent a whopping 13 hours waiting to be seen by a doctor. By the time I was finally seen, I was in the worst pain I have ever been in. Then I had to embarassingly explain how it all happened."
"After that ridiculous wait, the doctor carefully put a hand on either side of my jaw, pushing one side while pulling the other side and an immediate clicking noise happened and I realised my mouth had closed!"
It's great that this story got a happy ending.
Doctor pops her jaw back into place. She's given some advice of how to fix it.
But what happened when they tried explaining this to her family?
"TLDR: sucked some dick, got my jaw stuck open for 13 hours and had to lie to my family at Christmas dinner about why I spent 13 hours in emerge. (We told them I yawned too wide, spoiler, no one believed us.)"
C'est la vie.
It appears that this isn't completely uncommon. Other users have experienced the same thing.
Leads to some funny jokes at least.
"I have the same thing, and I've been told there really isn't a good fix for whatever variety I have. Bad news is once it's happened once it is extremely likely to just keep happening. Good news is it doesn't hurt at all anymore, and I can now fix it myself in seconds. It's really no bother at all anymore." - J_J_R
"So do you lock your jaw open on purpose before oral now?" - cmrattray
"Boa constrictor style, kinky." - AlveolarThrill
Being in such pain absolutely draws my sympathy, but hopefully she won't be traumatized forever.
"I'm dying! I'm so sorry lol" - boom_squid
"It's one of those things that's going to be funny in a week or two but for now I'm still pretty traumatized. 😂" - Tonks420
While this was a horrible situation for Tonks420, it might have led to a great story for her boyfriend.
"You know your boyfriend's telling of the story is going to be 'My dick's so big it dislocated her jaw. Yeah, had to go to the emergency room.'" - goodforabeer
"Honestly my first thought was "damn her boyfriend must be thick" lol" - Anonnanon
It's best we don't dwell on the negatives of this story.
Everyone is okay, and some people got a fun story they probably don't want to tell anyone they know. But the next time you're having a little fun with your partner, maybe be a little careful.
Who knows how long your ER wait is going to be?