Grocery store follies. 

Grocery store follies. "Get a cart. No not that cart. Go in front of me. Faster! This way. Stop following me with the cart. Leave the cart there. No, there. Where's the cart? Get bread. No, not that bread. Crackers. No, not those crackers. What? Why are you asking me to choose the crackers? Faster! Stop. Get in line. Not that line. Stay in line, I'll be right back. You checked out?" FrankieMint

Am I having a stroke?

She has this tendency to use only pronouns. Constantly

Her: Hey, i talked to them this morning and it turns out we don't really need to do anything until Sunday

Me: What?

Her: Sunday... all we need to do if meet them at the place up in the city

Me: What??

Her: OH! and while we were talking guess what happened?

Me: what?

Her: It turns out she isn't going to date that guy. her and her sister had a long conversation and she doesn't even like eating at the place we used to go to anymore

Me: WHAT??? What are you talking about?

Her: You know, Alex and that guy, "whats his name".

Me: Am I having a stroke? vintorzaleris

GENIUS. 

My advice: doesn't help, stupid idea, provokes the problem.

Same advice, different person: GENIUS. MunkeyFish

Exits....

When she exits the shower, she makes no attempt to dry off before walking all over the bathroom and bedroom to find her clothes. I can't stand walking on wet carpet and rugs. papahet1

A few things....

• Not closing doors behind her.
• Start talking to me when I'm clearly leaving the room.
• Being way more thoughtful and kind to other people, making me look bad. rbbdrooger
  

Just the 2 of Us....

Lack of direction. There can't be two of us. likewhaaaalikewhaaaa

If he's angry/annoyed, he has to let anyone knows he's feeling like that. At any moment, at any place. It has created one of the most uncomfortable memories to me. He sees no problems with that, because he says "it's just how I roll" like bro, no one outside me, or the personal circle needs to know your annoyed. Also, if we have a social gathering or have to go somewhere it creates a tense/awkward mood in the place. ArtemisiaRye

Ratios.... 

Their compliment:criticism ratio.

I know she likes me and admires many of my qualities, but she doesn't always tell me that until I'm already upset. I can really only deal with criticism if I also get some confirmation too. Zack1018

Hair Issues....

Everytime she wants to dye her hair back to red, black, brown, blonde or Californian yellow those bottles smell worse than boiled cauliflowers. fresh_scents

Clutter Love. 

The way he is able to be so comfortable with all of his clutter. My dad had some hoarding tendencies when I was growing up, and still does. It's why I'm the neat freak that I am today and too much clutter can give me anxiety. My husband isn't nearly as bad. He doesn't keep literal junk or trash lying around. He just has way too much stuff that he never uses or gives a second thought to and he doesn't have a place for really any of it. I'd say 90% of our bedroom is filled with just his stuff- and it's everywhere.

The only orderly spot in that room is by my side of the bed. It's frustrating because he doesn't want to tidy it or get rid of anything. The one and only time I tried to tackle it myself he lost his shit on me and went on and on for weeks about not being able to find anything. If he never uses half of it anyway why does it all have to be in huge piles all around the room? Doesn't make sense to me and I'd really like to have a decent looking master bedroom I can relax in and not have this mountain of mess staring back at me all the time. hairnetcouture

Roll Away!!!

Not replacing the Toilet paper roll. I mean.... ffs it isn't that hard to remember. It is down right inconsiderate. Shinnbds

Two things:

Two things: he seems unable to zip his pants (I have to remind him if we go out in public), and he can't seem to shut kitchen cabinets and drawers all the way. Why? Just why? henrythethirteenth

"aaaahhh"

When she is drinking coffee & goes "aaaahhh" after every sip... I feel like leaving forever everytime. g219m

Ha, yes! And not just coffee with mine. Every bite of every meal. Used to drive me bonkers. Now i have kids and it's a total inside joke. She had no clue why we're nudging and giggling. jackbrabs

I CAN'T HEAR YOU LIKE THIS!

Talking in the other direction, especially in crowded places, when it is loud, and mumbling the words. I CAN'T HEAR YOU LIKE THIS! I've told him a million times already, and he also knows that I can't hear as well as he, I have a problem to understand words (I can hear them, I just can't… I don't know how to describe it, I need more time to understand them). Last time I told him that I just ignore whatever he says in the wrong direction, and he got offended. CloudyDaysWillCome

Clear the Counters....

She routinely leaves little trash on the kitchen counter: the easy open tear tops, wrappers, lids, etc. There is always a trash can a few feet away, it just doesn't seem to occur to her to use it. WeAllHaveOurMoments

I feel for you so much, my spouse leaves wrappers on the counter when the trash can without a lid mind you is right next to her and I watch her do it standing right next to her. She will open a can with a pull tab and leave the lid on the counter.

I love you, but the trash... IS RIGHT THERE! Wildwoodwaltz

Speak UP!

He always starts talking to me the second I turn on the hairdryer/run a tap/walk towards the bathroom. It absolutely does my head in! chokeyourselftosleep

Don't be Mundane....

She asks my opinion on some mundane thing (often that doesn't affect me) then disagree with me. Which top should she wear? What time should she leave to get somewhere? Will she like a certain show?

If I say both tops are great, she pushes me to answer. Then argues with me when I finally choose. Not a fight, she just disagrees.

I get that she's just figuring it out in her own head, but it drives me crazy. It's become almost a running joke. I'll ask her "Is this one of those things where you need to know what I think so you can do the opposite?" It's mostly in good humor. Mostly.

It's a pretty small thing. But it drives me completely crazy. ericdavis1240214

Chew Quietly!

Gives people a look when she can hear them chewing something crunchy... I can her eat oatmeal while I'm splitting firewood outside. cracktoberfest

This is a running joke in my family, that my Dad could crunch on oatmeal and a glass of water. I'm surprised his teeth haven't shattered with that jaw pressure they are under. Firethorn101

I Got You Babe....

She asks questions before looking for an answer. Which is usually right in front of her. TheCrimsonnerGinge

Answer, "I don't know babe, but you're smart, I'm sure you'll figure it out." GeoBrian

 It's disgusting.....

He puts his dishes in the sink without wiping large bits of food off of them. We do not have a garbage disposal. He has never had a garbage disposal.

And then on top of that, he never cleans the sink drain when said large bits of food inevitably find their way into it... just keeps using the sink as normal until there's a swampy mess of water that can't drain because there's too much food in the way... and even then, he'll just leave it and hope it eventually drains in it's own time.

Always my job to clean up the chunks of old food (so I now make a point to check the sink every day, even if I haven't used any dishes). It's disgusting.

And yet, I am so incredibly grateful that this is the most annoying thing he does. We are ridiculously compatible in so many other ways. Food bits in the sink is a good problem to have. HangerBits257

Frozen....

How he seems to believe anyone not thinking/moving/reacting at the same pace as him is doing so deliberately to piss him off. SafetyInLetters