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When someone cheats on you, it can be a life altering event.
You place your trust in another person, sometimes so deeply that the betrayal is earth shattering.
A question you'll ask of yourself—and often never get a true answer for—is "Why?"
You will however, often get really dumb excuses.
Over on Twitter, user @that1mum asked precisely that of the internet.
What’s the funniest excuse for cheating someone has given you? I’ll go. My ex told me he cheated on me because I had a driving phobia.— tess (@tess) 1575471032.0
She asked for the funniest excuses given when someone cheated on you.
She was also super helpful and went first to break the ice. Apparently, someone decided they couldn't take her fear of driving a car and just had to cheat on her. They had no choice.
Others were a little more telling and gave excuses involving sex.
@that1mum My 1st husband told me he cheated because he “knew I didn’t like sex”. Turns out I just didn’t like sex with him.— Duchess Satine (@Duchess Satine) 1575590216.0
Told me he was a sex addict x https://t.co/Z3QgyTNZv7— rebecca law (@rebecca law) 1575553611.0
My ex told me he cheated because “you had sex with one more extra person then me so we needed to be even” https://t.co/SKJYhOiTtY— hailey 🦋 (@hailey 🦋) 1575845702.0
Which is, you know, kinda yikes.
Others went a little more creative. Though the excuses are about as believable as "The dog ate my homework."
I mean, how confused are you that two different people with the same name trips you up?
@that1mum One of the many times my ex cheated on me, he told me "she has the same name as you, I thought it would b… https://t.co/FzzIsPOSkF— typh (@typh) 1575477316.0
Another person couldn't decide if they were still dating because their significant other had the audacity to...
...sleep?
My ex cheated on me because he didn’t know if we were still dating after I didn’t text him for 10 hours because I w… https://t.co/ouZmFcJLfg— Lexi ☼ (@Lexi ☼) 1575577030.0
Cheating is already a horrible action to take against someone, but wanna know how to make it worse?
Claim you did it for them.
@that1mum he cheated because he thought i needed the trauma for my character development... this is not a joke he was a poet/writer— 𝓫🥂 (@𝓫🥂) 1575505903.0
He told me he cheated on me..... FOR ME https://t.co/mJ2yLEAjV3— Ky🦋 (@Ky🦋) 1575520562.0
he was missing me at the time and only did it to remind him of me x https://t.co/DHFSRoZ3Vb— lulu (@lulu) 1575631994.0
If you've never been cheated on, consider yourself lucky.
You don't have to experience these excuses after having your heart broken firsthand.
However, you also don't get to experience someone trying to tell the weirdest lies you can imagine on the spot.
@that1mum he said he forgot we were dating— 𝔧𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔡𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔪 (@𝔧𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔡𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔪) 1575533431.0
He was scared I was going to do it because I was too good for him, lmao. https://t.co/3FqBoxgGCF— natalie (@natalie) 1575554389.0
My ex told me he didn’t really cheat because the girl was riding him and he didn’t move. #pendejo https://t.co/H8hPuUUfD4— Gabriela Castillo (@Gabriela Castillo) 1575642863.0
“well you’re just so sad all the time and she was this happy Christian girl” LMAOOOO https://t.co/cIM12NA5SH— uhhh Melvin Doo? (@uhhh Melvin Doo?) 1575514459.0
@jjbred5 @that1mum The most shocking part about this is that someone actually likes banana bread.— J Dub (@J Dub) 1575610398.0
Lastly, we have the absolute classic excuse.
The phrase that's been uttered the most in relation to cheating on someone.
"I don't know."
"I dont know how it happened" 🙃 https://t.co/SVowTxD3K7— Katelyn (@Katelyn) 1575571662.0
Truly a classic.
The internet is more than willing to share these kinds of stories. The shared pain can help bring us all together, and maybe teach people about how much they'll hurt someone if they do this.
On the other hand, maybe no one will learn anything, and we'll be back here in a few months with a new set of excuses.
Who can say?