There is a reason why we hide our most vulnerable selves from friends and family. We don't want them to worry.
Because who wants to be around a Debbie Downer?
But suppressing your darkest secrets is not good for your well-being, and there never seems to be an appropriate social situation to have a deep conversation that could bring rain clouds.
Fortunately, Reddit offered the perfect place for people to anonymously lighten their burdens.
Strangers divulged a dark part of themselves when Redditor creativusername69420 asked:
"What is your saddest secret?"
Lonliness
Some people prefer to be alone. Others don't.
One-Sided Convo
"I talk to myself when I'm alone all the time. Mainly when driving. People say it means you're crazy, but it's just how I like to process my thoughts."'
Happy Birthday To Me
"I sang Happy Birthday to myself on my 16th birthday."
"My mum works interstate, so she wasn't home much. My stepdad was in jail. I had severe trust issues. No one that I called friend."
"So on my 16th, I was just hit with one of my more depressive and lonely episodes as I laid in bed home alone. I got up and went to the bathroom, and I stared at myself in the mirror, not recognising the face that stared back. And sobbingly sang happy birthday to myself."
"No one in my real life knows, and most likely, no one ever will."
All By Myself
"I don't consider it sad anymore but I've been single my entire life. Before anyone asks I'm 37 and no I'm not a virgin. I've just never been in a relationship."
Presence Of Death
Death is inevitable. That doesn't mean it's easy to talk about.
Eulogy Pressure
"I'm scared that when my dad dies, I'll have to give the eulogy. I have nothing good to say about him."
Words From A Cancer Patient
"I have been diagnosed with cancer and nobody in my family knows. My Dad is an elderly hypochondriac (not clinically) that makes a huge deal out of every little thing. Having him know and having to listen to him continually ask about it, give me advice and explain why I should feel like sh*t about having cancer would be worse for me mentally than actually having cancer. I was diagnosed 18 months ago and I am just under observation at the moment. Fortunately it is not progressing, so I got that going for me. Advice: when someone is sick acknowledge it, let them know you are thinking about them and don't make it the center of regular conversation. A couple of my friends know and I update them after my screenings. Other than that we rarely even mention it. Which is perfect."
First off, thank you for all the kind words and well wishes. I really was not expecting it. I am not sure if this is the best way to answer some common questions or comments I received, but here it goes. I was diagnosed with Lymphoma and it was caught very early. I had swollen lymph nodes in my neck that never went away, so I went to the doc. A few scans, bloodwork and a biopsy later I was diagnosed. My type of lymphoma frequently progresses very slowly. It could be years before I have any significant cancer-induced medical issues. Since the treatments have risks themselves, it is normal to watch it closely rather than jump right in to treatment. Surprised me as well, so I got a second opinion. They agreed. I thought any cancer diagnosis means you will be rushed off immediately. Nope. My doctor is awesome, so I am in good hands. 2. I think people like my Dad mean well, they just can't help themselves. He took care of my mother 24/7 for years until she passed away. He is a caregiver at heart, but DAMN can he smother you with concern. 3. My wife and I have a good sense of humor about it."
"When it is my turn to empty the dishwasher I hold my neck and tell her I can't because it makes my cancer hurt..... she is not buying it. Thanks again for the kind words and awards. It really brightened my day."
Beloved Nan
"I went to see my nan in hospital before I went to Canada. I knew in my heart it was probably the last time I'd see her. (It was.) Because my father was with me - and because of how he was - I didn't let myself say everything I should have."
"She knew I loved her. I know that. But I wish I'd said goodbye better than I did. Love you, nan."
Grieving A Best Friend
"I still reach for my phone to call and text my best friend who died in November of 2019. Then I get angry. I also compare all of my friends to her, find them lacking, and avoid them, even though it's not their fault. I'm bitter as hell. F'k cancer."
Personal Battles
The following Redditors need to know they are loved for who they are.
Struggle With Self-Hatred
"I struggle with self hatred pretty badly. I'm a grown adult and it's a common struggle with wanting to self harm. I want to get help, but at the same time I don't because I feel like I deserve to feel pain."
"It's obviously not something you disclose to friends and family. Nobody even knows. I hide all my cuts and scars in plain sight because I do parkour and combat sports. Cuts and bruises are expected."
The Side We Show
"I feel like my outward personality is just a character I play."
"I know I'm not the only person who feels like this but I think its hard to be open and honest to someone and let them get to know me because I don't want them to hate me."
– Bacoose
While the comments above are depressing, they are real struggles and feelings people choose to deal with on their own.
It is ultimately up to them to open up and discuss their vulnerabilities, and we should never pressure our friends to open up at the first sign of internal struggles.
A general good rule of thumb should always be to treat people with kindness.
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