By now we're all well aware of the extraordinary dangers of the virus causing this pandemic.
But there's a whole new side of this plague that most of us have probably not considered: the deadly combination of a nurse's respirator and a "silent but deadly" fart.
That's the mistake an ICU nurse made while tending to pandemic patients and... well let's just say it's a mistake they won't make twice.
The nurse posted the story to the TIFU (Today I Fuc*ed Up) section of Reddit, where they go by the name Vladamir.
They gave their tale the straightforward title, "TIFU by passing gas into my respirator."
Vladamir, you see, works in the ICU at a hospital, working with patients affected by the viral pandemic.
Luckily, they have some very advanced personal protective equipment called a PAPR, which stands for Powered Purified Air Respirator. It is a sort of air purifying system that keeps the air a medical professional is breathing free of virus particles or other contaminants.
Vladimir provided a photo of a PAPR system for reference.
As Vladamir describes it:
"[It] is a hood that goes over your head and shoulders that's hooked up to a machine around your waist by a tube. This machine blows air into the hood, making it so any aerosolized material in the air is pushed away from my face."
The key here is the "around your waist" part—that's where the air intake is, you see.
And well...
"Anyways, I'm all geared up and working in a patients room when I have to pass some gas. The patients intubated and sedated, I'm wearing a hood, no one else is around- what's the harm?"
shaq no GIFGiphy
But, well... they did it:
"I let a silent but deadly rip... right under this PAPR machines intake."
"I spent the next 5 minutes trying not to wretch as this hood circulates my toxic a*s scent through my hood."
kate mckinnon no GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
Some people just have to learn the hard way, don't they?
Of course, Vladamir's fellow Redditors had plenty to say about this.
"D*mn. The hazards medical personnel are exposed to in these dangerous times..." --Throwaway4678ii
"Reminds me of farting in waders. The water pressure rolls the bubbles up and let's them out of the bibs right under your chin." --Diesel_Daddy
"I thank you for not going to the supply closet to let one rip. As a guy who used to restock those rooms, I quickly learned thats where nurses go to fart." --MrKrazybones
"So is this a self inflicted hot box or a Dutch oven?" --BIscuitSlayer101
And some had some similar horror stories of their own.
"I used this same apparatus back when I used to work refinishing concrete (silica dust) and I found out one day that it doesn't filter out the smell of flatulence (I gassed myself) and told some coworkers that you can still smell farts come through."
"It eventually turned in to a sick game where guys would fart in to the intake and see how badly they could gas each other out." --xxcarlsonxx
"We did this all the time with an colleague he had the same system for welding. If someone had to fart went to that dude and let it rip against that intake thing. Even writing this I can still see him gagging. Fun times." --jhaxvile
"Reminds me of the time I farted in a patients side room, daughter arrived around the corner and was apologising for her fathers renowned wind problem 🤦🏼♀️ "--Rebekah1986
The story also inspired a sadistic copycat.
"I'm an electrician. We do lots of work for a local metal shop and all their welders wear these. Their a bunch of good guys and we are constantly giving each other shit. Looks like I have a new tool in my bag of tricks to fuck with them. Thanks for that." --SlowClosetYogurt
So please spare a thought for the nurses of our country. They're dealing with horrors on a scale we can't imagine, and that's before you even think about the pandemic.
If there's a nurse in your life, this mug is available here.
@GregAbbott_TX/X
