We've all said things that we didn't mean or truly believe, but that doesn't change how hurtful that statement may have been.
The thing people don't realize is how lasting that hurt can be and how difficult it can be to let those hurtful things go.
Redditor couch_potatooo asked:
"What's the most painful thing you've been told?"
Under the Radar
"'Spell 'intelligent'... that's because you're not one of them.'"
"Context: this happened around when I was eight years old at that time I had undiagnosed ADHD and an undiagnosed learning disability and my parent didn't know about it. They assumed I was acting lazy, dumb, and disrespectful. I didn't know how to read or write properly and struggled a lot with communication."
- blossom4060
The Worst Reverse Psychology
"‘No one likes you, when you walk into the room, everyone wants to leave.'"
"I was 17 and severely depressed. The only reason I didn’t end it there and then is because part of me was furious at the sociopathic lack of empathy from the person who was supposed to love me unconditionally. The rage kept me alive."
"It’s been 20 years since that was said to me and it still hurts."
- AmbivalentTarantula
Definitely Not a Date
"Back in my early 20s, I worked with this amazing, beautiful woman. I had a serious crush on her, and everyone knew it. The regular customers, other employees, the vendors who came in once a week. Everyone. It was super obvious."
"I never asked her out though, as she was married. We hung out, talked a lot, and goofed off together after work, but it was always as friends. Eventually, she quit working there. We still hung out, but not as much."
"About six months later, she shows up at my door, dressed to the nines. Tells me she has left her husband, and asked if I wanted to go out with her that night. I quickly agreed and grabbed a quick shower."
"We headed out to a good bar the next town over. We got there about 7:00 PM. We spent the next few hours shooting pool, dancing, talking, and just enjoying ourselves."
"Around 1:00 AM or so, she went to the restroom. One of the bar employees was walking around selling various things, including a teddy bear with a heart on its tummy and holding a real rose. I bought it. When my friend came back to the table, I gave her the bear."
"She looked at the bear, at me, at the bear, then looked me dead in the eyes and said the words I'll never forget. 'You know this wasn't a date, right? I just wanted you along as a designated driver.'"
"My heart didn't just freaking break, it shattered. I tried not to let it show on my face, though. I said sure, I just bought the bear to help cheer her up over the breakup. We spent a couple more hours at the bar."
"I dropped her off at home and went back to my place. I never saw or heard from her again after that night. It's a shame too; I miss my friend."
- Code0011001
Ignored Women's Symptoms
"'Menstrual pain is completely normal. You're overreacting and exaggerating. This won't work if you're drug seeking.'"
"Said by my OBGYN, on my third visit to find some resolve with my debilitating pain, over-the-top bloating, vomiting, etc that lasted two full weeks each month from my period."
"It's amazing to me how many medical 'professionals' dismiss women's experiences and constant trauma when it comes to this, which is astonishing!"
"After 15 years of suffering, losing two jobs due to calling out sick so often and doing my own research, I finally found a doctor who took me seriously, most importantly believed me. She navigated finding answers and solutions with me. Finally, she diagnosed me with endometriosis."
"Did laparoscopy and found a chronic amount of endometriosis throughout. She said there was so much around one of my ovaries that it fused it to my lining, where it wasn't even recognizable. I felt truly validated."
"I ended up getting a full hysterectomy (uterus and ovaries). It has been a complete turnaround in my quality of life. I'm no longer in constant pain two out of four weeks a month. My digestion has improved immensely. And I no longer have to schedule my life around my period."
"Finding a doctor who cares and allows me to make my own decisions regarding my body, despite me being a female (sigh), is a glorious thing!"
- SusieSmilesss
A Fully Funded Affair
"Me: 'Did I seriously pay for you to visit your dying aunt but actually have an affair with your ex?'"
" Wife: '..Yes.'"
- LippoRosso9
Not Meant to Be
"I heard, 'I don't want to marry you,' after eight years together."
- Lesbian_Burner
"I got, 'I want to get married, just not to you.'"
- themsessie
A Breaking Point
"'Cole’s dead.' I lost my brother/best friend, and then proceeded to go through h**l for the next two years. I’m still amazed I didn’t lose more of my mind."
- UnInspiredMuse
Medical Shaming
"By my now ex-husband: When I was fatigued a year post-cancer and chemo, but still on cancer meds, he said, 'Still playing the cancer card, I see.'"
- Ticketybooboo
The Loss of a Sibling
"When my little brother died. My husband told me the news. He said my reaction was the worst thing he's ever seen. It was so painful, I was just screaming on the floor. I'll never forget that day. It was literally the worst day of my life."
- katashscar
The Comparison Games
"My mom said, 'I love your sister more than I love you.'"
- lovelysungril23
A Change in Perspective
"She said, 'You’re not man enough. You wouldn’t be able to provide for me or protect me.'"
"But thank God she said that. Completely changed my life for the better."
- Darth_Saban
Devastatingly Life-Changing
"'Usually we only work kids like this for 10 mins, it’s been 30 mins without an improvement. We are going to discontinue CPR.'"
"The doctor leading the resuscitation efforts on my daughter born at 27 weeks via emergency c-section while my wife was out from the general anesthetic."
"She took her last breaths in my arms at 34 minutes old. I’m not the same person anymore."
- medicff
They Are Unfit for the Dating Pool
"'If I could put your personality into a more attractive body, you'd be the perfect woman.'"
- AngeRabbit74
Low Expectations
"Whenever I f**ked up as a kid, my mom would always say, 'I didn't expect any better from you.' It hurt like a knife through the chest every time."
- Perfect-Software4358
Something to Remember
"After reading these mine doesn’t seem so bad. Sending love into the universe for all you people."
- KnitB***h007
"Your pain is real to you and you are allowed to feel it."
- Puzzled452
We've all heard terribly hurtful things, and it's no surprise that the comments mention here had lasting effects for those who shared them.
It's so important for us to remember the power our words hold and to act accordingly, even when we are hurting or angry. There's no telling the damage we could do to someone else's life by unleashing those words.