People Share The Most Blatant Lie Someone Has Ever Told Them

1.

We offer a true work/life balance and we're all like one big family here.

-stupidlyugly

"We're all like one big family here" is the subtle way of saying "Conform or be eaten alive."

-Ving_Rhames_Bible

"We have flexible hours"

AKA

"We expect you to come to work at random hours no questions asked or you're fired"

-YoungDiscord

2.

There was a dude I worked nights with at a grocery with who used to tell me about his time spent as a roadie for Pearl Jam, all the deep talks he'd had with Eddie Vedder and how Eddie would go to him for help on songwriting, Eddie always like, "Hey man, what was that riff you were just playing? Would you teach it to me?"

We were both just into our 20s at the time and had went to the same high school, there was no way any of his stories could have possibly been true.

-Ving_Rhames_Bible

3.

"I had 26 confirmed kills in Afghanistan" random dude in his early 20's at a bar, who was talking to my friend and I, and my friend is a veteran of Afghanistan. it didn't end well.

-Makabajones

4.

Was in charge of a restaurant with myself and 2 other people there. One them came to me and said money had been taken out of her purse. I went to the other one and asked if she had taken it. She was like "no I would never are you sure you didnt do it." I was just like ok I will watch the tape and then call the gm. She just booked it out the door. I was just going to make her give the money back but man that was wierd.

-neclord84

5.

"Just tell me what you did, I won’t be mad" -Mom

-twomonthsoldtoast

6.

Kid once told me on his way to America on holiday the plane caught fire on both engines and they had to do an emergency landing in a military base. They where then taken to the hotel by "the helicopters with two spinners".

Same kid also told me that his uncle ran over his dad with a tank on accident because he was in the army and they let him take it home.

-beeschurger11

7.

When I was about 14, a girl in my class tried to convince my friend group that she had a secret twin attending boarding school in Switzerland and that they were planning on switching places without telling anyone else. She spent the next month counting down to what would be her 'last day' before her twin would take her place. She was genuinely shocked that none of us believed her.

-iamthetrophy

8.

Rumor started in middle school that I stalked this girl. Now, I did have very strong feelings for her but I never stalked her. Rumor spread and it really hurt me, I asked her if she believed it and shed always tell me no. Found out later on that she actually started the rumor. Apparently she didnt like me and wanted to get rid of me, which..ok fair enough but, damn, could've just said something. And now I'm constantly afraid I'm doing something to creep a girl out, or that no one likes me, not even my friends so. Thanks for that, really, its fan-f**king-tastic

-Klown1327

9.

"OK, I just restarted my computer."

No... no you didnt. You paused about 30-45 seconds on the phone so that I would think you turned your PC off. And look task manager says uptime of 45 days.

-TheLightningCount1

10.

Woman came into the store saying that the manager would replace her cell phone free of charge. I was the manager.

-probablyhighfrn