Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Mom Furious After Her Teen Daughter Decides Her Only Plan In Life Is To Be A Stay-At-Home-Mom

Mom Furious After Her Teen Daughter Decides Her Only Plan In Life Is To Be A Stay-At-Home-Mom
Charday Penn/GettyImages

Parents want what is best for their children. But what happens if your idea of a secure future is rejected by your child who has other plans?

Redditor anallstar found herself confronted with this dilemma with her 16-year-old daughter.


After giving her daughter an ultimatum, she sought the input of strangers on the "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) subReddit and asked:

"AITA for telling my daughter that I absolutely do not support her ONLY wanting to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM)?"

The Original Poster (OP) clarified she wasn't entirely opposed to the concept of SAHMs.

"I don't have a problem with the idea of parents who stay home with their kids. It's not like that. I get that childcare is expensive, and that often times it just makes sense."
"What I have a problem with is my teenage daughter literally planning her life to only become a SAHM. As in, no college, no jobs, no certifications, nothing at all to support herself until that time might come."
"I told her that it doesn't have to be college, that not everyone needs college. But that she needs to do something to start making money to put away so that, if anything goes wrong with her plan, she has a way to support herself and the potential kids."
"Her feedback was that her backup plan was me and my husband -- she would move in with us and go from there. We would help them survive."
"I told her then, what happens if we die, or we're incapacitated? She said 'I don't know, Mom, this is ridiculous, none of it is going to happen.'"

To emphasize her point, the OP mentioned the popular TV series Weeds in which the female protagonist was forced to unethically make ends meet after her husband suddenly died of a heart attack.

"I told her bluntly that I don't want her becoming Nancy Botwin 2.0, that if something happens, she needs to have a backup plan and something behind her other than relying on other people."
"I emphasized that again, it does not need to be college. She can start working retail to learn customer service skills that she can carry onto doing call center work from home if need be."
"She can start working as a receptionist somewhere, she can do any number of things. But she says no, she's going to plan to be a SAHM.
"With that all in mind, I asked her, when she graduates high school, what is she going to do? She said 'Just try to find a husband. Maybe marry someone in the military.'"
"I asked her again, in between that time, how is she going to pay her bills? Her rent?"
"She said she assumed she would be living at home."

The OP put her foot down with a conditional proposal.

"I told her no, and that she would be moving out. She could live at home if she gets a job or tries to get some kind of community college degree or certification."
"But that if she insists on being a deadbeat loser and waiting for a man to come and rescue her, she's on her own."
"This didn't go over well, and I am now being held up as totally unreasonable, mean, a huge b*tch, etc."
"I don't think I'm wrong at all. I want to set her up for a lifetime of success and happiness. If this wonderful man who comes and whisks her away, knocks her up, etc, gets injured or dies, I don't want to have her come knocking at our door because she can't afford to take care of herself."
"AITA?"

Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked their opinion by declaring:

  • NTA - Not The A**hole
  • YTA - You're The A**hole
  • ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH - No A**holes Here

Most Redditors declared NTA.

Those who planned for a SAHM life—like the OP's daughter—expressed their disappointment and regret when their lives didn't turn out the way they expected.

"NTA, she is being delusional. You are being perfectly reasonable." – tuppence_a_bag98
"NTA. In high school, I also wanted to be a SAHM. Unfortunately, that's not where my life took me. I'm 33, single, and childless."
"Sometimes our plans don't work out and that's ok. She really needs to make a plan to be able to take care of herself regardless of becoming a SAHM." – acreativeaccountant
"Agreed. I'm 33 and I just became a mom. If you had asked me when I was 18 I would have guessed I would have become a mother sooner."
"Being a SAHM is a blessing, but it's something you potentially plan for once the baby is on the way, in my opinion. I got my degree, worked multiple jobs throughout my twenties, opened a business, etc."
"It's unrealistic to just wait until SAHM status presents itself... plus I feel like she'd be hard pressed to find a guy that supports her desire throughout the (I assume) years of dating/marriage that typically takes place before a baby enters the picture." – laranita
"Exactly. You can't be a SAHM without a kid. I'd also assume there would be a while before that happens with a partner. I don't want to know the type of dude who would be willing to just let her float through life on his dime until she had his children." – acreativeaccountant

Those who planned their lives with multiple options expressed their contentment.

"I wasn't planning to be a SAHM in high school, but I sure as hell thought I'd be married by now."
"At 28, I've got two degrees, a career, and can comfortably support myself. If I was sitting around waiting for someone to take care of me this whole time, I'd be pretty disappointed." – AntebellumEm
"At 17 my life goal was to be a SAHM with 12 kids by the time I was 30. I realized how unrealistic that was before the end of my first semester of university lol."
"Now I'm 35, I didn't have my first kid until I was 30, I have a career and am getting my Masters. My life now is unrecognizable to my 17 year old self, but I'm happy with the direction my life took."
"And I also know now, as much as I love my children I don't have the temperament to be a SAHM to my kids, at least when their young."
"I was desperate to return from my first 1 year Maternity leave (Canadian) and I actually ended my second Maternity leave early last month and returned to working (from home). If I become a full time SAHM, it won't be until my oldest is close to high school age."

Hopefully, the OP could make her daughter understand that keeping her options open and being self-sufficient will go a long way, even if she ultimately does become a stay-at-home-mom.

More from Trending

Donald Trump
Mehmet Eser/Middle East Images/AFP via Getty Images

Trump Demands 'Boss Of AT&T' Fix Equipment After Failed Conference Call In Bizarre Meltdown

When most of us have technical difficulties, we contact tech support or customer service.

But if you're President of the United States, just ranting on social media—then having your White House Press Secretary post a screenshot of your post on a social media platform people actually use—is apparently the answer.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Lauren Boebert speaking to Alex Stein
Prime Time with Alex Stein/Blaze Media

Lauren Boebert Casts Doubt On Moon Landing During Wild Interview With Conspiracy Theorist

Colorado Republican Representative Lauren Boebert was criticized after she seemingly agreed with the conspiracy theory that the moon landing was faked in a wide-ranging interview with conservative conspiracy theorist Alex Stein.

The segment began with the duo casting doubt on nuclear weapons—Boebert even joked about needing "tin foil"—and moved into weirder territory when Stein praised Boebert for "vibing" with him on the topic of the moon landing. Conspiracy theorists have long alleged the moon landing was fabricated by NASA in what they claim was an elaborate hoax.

Keep ReadingShow less
Rosie O'Donnell; Oprah Winfrey
Simon Ackerman/Getty Images; Ernesto Ruscio/GC Images

Rosie O'Donnell Calls Out Oprah For Attending Jeff Bezos' Wedding In Scathing Poem

Among the various celebrity hangers-on who attended Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez's Venice wedding, the one that seemed to generate the most controversy was Oprah Winfrey.

After all, a woman known for her progressive politics whose entire ethos is about teaching people how to be their best selves, attending the wedding of man who directly funded a fascist regime dismantling our country before our eyes doesn't exactly add up.

Keep ReadingShow less
Lisa Murkowski
Kayla Bartkowski/Getty Images

Lisa Murkowski Slammed After Criticizing Massive Budget Bill She Just Voted For

Alaska Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski was slammed after she claimed that President Donald Trump's One Big Beautiful Bill is "not there yet" despite casting the deciding vote to narrowly pass it before sending it back to the House.

In a marathon voting session, the Senate narrowly passed the legislation in a 51-50 vote, with Vice President JD Vance casting the tie-breaking vote after three Republicans joined all Democrats in opposition.

Keep ReadingShow less
Woman listening to her boyfriend play guitar
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Things People Initially Found Attractive About Their Partner That Now Annoy Them

Being in a relationship can be wonderful, but it's not without its ups and downs.

In order for it to work, we have to allow it to grow and change over time rather than being locked forever into what it was when we first started dating our person.

Keep ReadingShow less