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"Gender" reveal parties are part of the culture in many parts of the world.
But it wasn't always so.
For one thing, it wasn't too long ago that technology meant the "gender reveal" took place shortly after delivery. With better and better ultrasounds however, most parents have the option of learning the sex of their baby before the actual birth.
Jenna Karvunidis, who runs the "mommy blog" High Gloss and Sauce, recently shared a post about gender reveal parties on Facebook. And she would be the expert because a decade ago, Karvunidis played a major role in taking gender reveals off mommy blogs and into the mainstream.
She wrote on her High Gloss and Sauce Facebook page:
"A weird thing came up on Twitter, so I figured I'd share here. Someone remembered it was me who 'invented' the gender reveal party. I had written about my party on my blog and a parenting forum in July 2008."
"It was picked up & and an interview with me was published in The Bump magazine and the idea kinda spread from there. I've got the article framed!"
"Anyway, I've felt a lot of mixed feelings about my random contribution to the culture. It just exploded into crazy after that. Literally - guns firing, forest fires, more emphasis on gender than has ever been necessary for a baby."
"Who cares what gender the baby is? I did at the time because we didn't live in 2019 and didn't know what we know now - that assigning focus on gender at birth leaves out so much of their potential and talents that have nothing to do with what's between their legs."
"PLOT TWIST, the world's first gender-reveal party baby is a girl who wears suits!"
Here is her original Facebook post.
People were mostly supportive in the comments left on Facebook, thanking Karvunidis for her evolution.
Other parents shared their own thoughts on "gender reveals."
In response to Jo McCabe-Simpson jokingly saying her child's grandparents wouldn't understand a "gender is a construct " reveal, a soon-to-be grandmother explained what these parties really are.
"Genital reveal party" probably isn't going to catch on however.
Parents of transgender children shared their appreciation for Karvunidis' update as well.
And even some transgender adults that shared when a gender reveal would be appropriate.
Why not gender reveals for everyone once they determine their gender?
People have been having "my fetus has discernible genitals on an ultrasound" for a decade. The former seems far less odd than the latter.
Karvunidis thanked everyone for their supportive comments after banning a few verbally abusive "I don't know anything about the science of sex and gender, but let me spout some pseudoscience" experts in the thread.
Others soon shared her self-evaluation on Twitter as well.
"Who cares what gender the baby is? I did at the time because we didn't live in 2019 and didn't know what we know n… https://t.co/KnBSzYY1TT— Avery Alder (@Avery Alder)1564098571.0
Sharing this not as a dunk, but as a genuinely happy revelation that this person realized that we aren't served by… https://t.co/NCYbWFFYsN— Avery Alder (@Avery Alder)1564098719.0
@TracyQLoxley @mariancall new strategy then: gender option reveal parties. If the parents would be okay with their… https://t.co/caMgFx2YsS— Avery Alder (@Avery Alder)1564102002.0
The true science of human gender shows its far more complicated than the oft made false claim "all humans are XX or XY". With more advanced genetic testing, scientists now state there are at least five factors that determine gender that begin at conception but continue until adulthood.
As Karvunidis told The Guardian:
"I'm letting [Bianca] lead me. She has her opinions about there being many genders, and she is informing me about things. She was biologically born a female, and she is still 'she' and 'her' and says she's a girl, but she is still doing [gender expression] her way."
So maybe it's time to ditch the genital reveal parties and remove one more of societies misconceptions about science and gender.
To learn more about a world beyond "blue for boys and pink for girls, the book Gender: Your Guide (A Gender-Friendly Primer on What to Know, What to Say, and What to Do in the New Gender Culture) (A Gender-Friendly Primer on What to Know, What to Say, and What to Do in the New Gender Culture) is available here.