Baby showers are pretty commonplace for mothers-to-be, but for those who opt not to have one, what do you do when your mother decides to throw you a shower anyway?
One 25 year-old mom-to-be just plain skipped out on the shower her mother threw for her.
After insisting to her mother throughout her pregnancy that she did not want a baby shower, the mother insisted on throwing her one anyway, claiming that her daughter was robbing her of the experience, as it was her first grandchild.
The daughter is now seeking advice from Reddit to see whether or not she is in the wrong for bailing on the shower she never wanted.
Posting to the "Am I the A$hole" subReddit, she describes how her mother reacted when she found out she was pregnant:
"As soon as she found out I was pregnant she's been on about a shower. I stated firmly that NO I do not want a shower. She whines that I'm robbing her of this experience. She somehow makes this whole thing about her.
I don't want gifts i won't use. I don't want lame baby games. I don't want people constantly trying to touch me. I don't want to be hounded for a name or if I know the gender."
Did she really bail on her own shower?
Yeah she did:
"So the day of, I sneak out the back early and meet up with two of my best friends (who were invited to the party and understood) and we went for an awesome lunch together. I left my phone off in my bag all afternoon. When I finally get home, my mom starts screaming how disrespectful I am, how embarrassed she was and this and that. I tell her I didn't want a party and I told her over and over again I didn't want a shower. She demands an apology..."
She pleads with Reddit:
"So, am I the asshole for ditching my own shower? Because I certainly don't feel like it. People have told me I should have gone for my mom because it's her first grandchild and she spent a lot of money on it. Okay, well it's MY child and I told her I don't want a shower and she ignored me and did it anyway."
You can read her full story of the baby shower here:
from AmItheAsshole
The platform was seriously divided.
Some agreed with the poster, stating she needed to draw firm boundaries between herself and her mother.
"NTA and it's good to draw a really firm line with your mom now because she's likely to overstep boundaries even more once there's a baby around." - LyndaCarter_
"You called people and thanked them for their gifts? That makes you NTA." - CoCoPuff1969
"If you were her friend, you would have been at her side lunch instead. Sounds like the people who knew OP and were close to her knew she did not want this. Gift giving has become weaponized.
"'I bought you this shot so you have to drink it' 'I got your this bedframe so you have to use it'. Imagine if we could actually listen to each other instead of steamrolling each other and telling them they should be grateful for the experience." - zhuguli_icewater
Others disagreed with how she handled the situation, and suggested she could have accepted the shower and gifts with grace.
"I read the whole post and thought to myself 'totally NTA' but then I went and re-read it and yea no, she sounds super bougie and bratty."
"OP, why can't you just graciously accept the gifts and then return/exchange them and put in the extra money for the things you actually want? Isn't that what most people do...? lol" - kkkbkkk
"The one thing that jumped out immediately was the fact that OP had to 'sneak out' and then return home after the shower-- implying that she still lives with her mother."
"OP, you sound so incredibly self-centered. You don't want your mom and friends to celebrate your pregnancy but you're perfectly fine depending on your mom to provide a roof for you and your child? God, I feel bad for your mom. She's excited about you bringing another life into HER home, but you just wanna brunch with your friends." - centuryblessings
"I can't believe this is the top comment. The OP absolutely sucks in this scenario. If I were her friend and she hung me out to dry at a sh*tty baby shower and then called me later to say she didn't want my gift, I'd tell her to stick the gift up her a** and never contact me again." - ElsaClack
Some felt that everyone in the scenario was in the wrong.
"ESH- Yes your Mother definitely did cross the line with setting up a baby shower against your will. But you could have just told everyone that it wasn't happening. Also just because they aren't the expensive versions of the gifts, people still thought of you and took time out of their day to get a nice gift for you" - mattwaither
But let's be honest, the mom needs to respect boundaries.
And hey, Mom:
@lpeterp/Bluesky
@FPWellman/X
@bobsbeatgmail.com5/Threads