The internet has finally discovered the modern equivalent of "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)."
On an anonymous Reddit account specifically made to tell this story, Reddit user TinderMarriageThrow tells the story of how he matched with his current wife on Tinder.
In his post, entitled "I [m32] matched with my wife [f29] on Tinder..." TinderMarriageThrow wrote:
"Big time throwaway account."
"I'll start by saying that my wife and I don't have any sort of open relationship agreement or anything of that nature."
"We met on Tinder 3 years ago, fell in love fast, moved in together, and got married. We've been married over 14 months now, and quite happily, I would say."
"A month ago she left on a business trip for a week and I found myself downloading Tinder on a particularly lonely night. I don't even know why. I didn't have any intentions. But I did it."
"I swiped here and there and got pretty bored with it. It was a funny reminder of that time of my life. I deleted it and moved on."
"On Monday my wife left for another business trip. Last night I once again downloaded Tinder and started swiping. Again, I had a laugh, but ultimately was bored of it."
That's when things took an unexpected turn:
"Then I saw her picture come up."
"I say shocked for a moment. I wondered if I should just delete it and pretend nothing happened. I thought maybe a bot stole her picture.... But I read her profile... it's her. It's her now and it's her live. There's even a picture of her where I am cut out."
"I decided to make a bold move and swipe right."
"I swiped and we matched."
"She gets back from her business trip tomorrow. I'm going to confront her then. I don't even know how this is happening. She's over 100 miles. Is a friend of her using her account??"
"Now I have to explain why I was on Tinder. This is just a huge can of worms that got opened."
"What the hell do I do?"
"TL;DR - I matched with my current wife on Tinder"
Hennythepainaway understands the attraction:
"You guys seem like a good match"
lileocket also couldn't help but notice that OP wasn't exactly blameless:
"Right? OP, I don't know if you were looking for sympathy or advice, but this is probably a bad place for both of those things given your situation."
"'Just for laughs' he says, after making sure his wife is out of the country first"
sharksarentsobad didn't buy the "just on tinder for fun" story:
"Seriously. My ex and I broke up because he was on Tinder 'just for fun.' Yeah, I f***ing know what kind of fun he was looking for."
If it was really "just for fun" then why hide it, NeutralJazzhands wondered:
"I can understand using tinder to see the kinds of profiles of the people in your area —it really can be amusing the types of profiles that pop up. But that's the kind of thing you'd share with your SO to laugh together (similar to when some of my friends and I got the app we mainly just shared ridiculous profiles with each other since most of us were too busy at the time to deal with dating)."
"However, if you're hiding that s*** then clearly it's a red flag. There's no reason your partner shouldn't know about it if it's ''just for laughs''"
Only_Luck was among the many who found the situation familiar:
"reminds me of the song 'if you like pina coladas'"
romansamurai has some theories:
"I'm curious. Imo 3 possibilities:"
"It's a catfish. She has been using tinder also to "have a laugh"....like OP here. (But if she's using it when on trips why put location of home area?)
She or someone else saw OP on tinder and she decided to see if it was him herself. And so SHE caught HIM on tinder!"
"I'm leaning towards1-23"
"Also you can bluff saying you saw her on tinder so wanted to see if it was her. But what if she actually did that to YOU. Just be honest. You shouldn't have been on tinder anyway. I don't buy your excuse."
XxQueenOfSwordsXx brought up the possibility that OP's wife already knew about his Tinder use:
"Did it ever occur to you that she has suspected you were back on Tinder, and swiped on you to see how often you use the app?"
"Also, you just should come clean to her why you were on Tinder and not lie. I mean.. you want the truth from her right? What kind of marriage do you have if you guys can't be honest with each other?"
fuber had another familiar idea of why OP's wife may have been on Tinder:
"she prob downloaded Tinder on a particularly lonely night. She didn't even know why. She didn't have any intentions. But she did it."
throwawayadvice32179 thinks TinderMarriageThrow's post may have been part of his cover.
"Or he got caught and is making this post to show her proof that he wasn't fucking around on Tinder."
iamthemadz did bring up a good point, however:
"I mean, if you just downloaded the app to scroll through it for entertainment, it seems strange you would update your pictures and go as as far to crop out your husband."
Maybe the next time his wife is out of town, TinderMarriageThrow will decide to take out an ad in the local paper.
He'll really go to any lengths to reconnect with his beloved wife!
Rupert Holmes - (Escape) The Pina Colada Song (Lyrics)youtu.be
"Escape (the Pina Colada Song)" made the charts in 1979. You can get Billboard's top hits of 1979 here.
