COMICSANDS
percolately
georgetakei
secondnexus
george's picks
Sometimes it can feel like the internet is a destructive force, but other times it can really bring people together.
For Nick Barton-Wines, it brought him together with a cousin who in a perfect world he would have known all along.
Barton-Wines' mother found her relative living only a few hours away through AncestryUK.
The cousin—Roger—had been expelled from his family when he came out as gay decades ago.
This was after being forced into conversion therapy by his father which, as Barton-Wines noted, "didn't work."
\u201cFirst time meeting my 81 year old second cousin today who was cut out of the family for being gay. Obviously being sent to conversion therapy didn\u2019t work.\n\nHe is so lovely, has incredible stories, and a wicked laugh.\n\nA profoundly important day for me given the status of LGBTQIA+\u201d— Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1672866440
\u201cThe stories Roger shared felt like an important bridge between generations of gay men (so often lost, most acutely by the HIV/AIDS crisis), so becoming a new bearer of them to carry forwards - somehow - feels hugely significant. Time to think\u2026\u201d— Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1672866440
\u201c(Should mention here that, when the secret between him and his mum got out, it was Roger\u2019s dad who overruled his mum and pushed Roger from the family by sending him to conversion therapy.)\u201d— Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1672866440
After the post racked up tens of thousands of likes and comments, he and Roger posted a follow-up video to thank everyone.
\u201cA message from Roger and I\u2026\u201d— Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1672866440
People commented on how nice it was the two of them were able to unite after all these years.
\u201c@nicholasbw Precious. He looks to happy to have met you, Nick.\u201d— Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1672866440
\u201c@nicholasbw This is the most moving post I\u2019ve seen in in a while. Such a radiant picture! I hope your second cousin can see that there are so many people on twitter that appreciate him exactly as he is. \ud83d\udc97\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08\ud83d\udc97\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08\ud83d\udc97\u201d— Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1672866440
Others just cried at their desks.
\u201c@nicholasbw Well that's me bawling my eyes out at my desk (this is what I get for procrastinating). Sending all the love \u2764\ufe0f\u201d— Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1672866440
\u201c@nicholasbw damn man, way to make me cry. \ud83d\ude2d\ud83d\udc99\u201d— Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1672866440
\u201c@nicholasbw Welling up thinking about what he's lived through to see one of his relatives living happily and freely as a gay man who doesn't need to be afraid. What an extraordinary person, I'm so happy you've met.\u201d— Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1672866440
Many people replied with personal stories of members of their own families who were put in a similar situation.
\u201c@nicholasbw My Dad too is about the same age as your Roger. Didn\u2019t want to leave his family. So faked being straight. Forced to marry my mom or any women at that point. Had 4 kids. And in 80\u2019s after his moms death he left our family and moved to SF and live his best life. I was 12.\u201d— Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1672866440
\u201c@nicholasbw Some family members tried to bar my grandpa's cousin's partner from sitting with the family during the cousin's father's funeral. \n\nHe took her by the hand and brought her up with him to sit with the family. \n\nHe straight up reminded them that his uncle had seen her as family.\u201d— Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1672866440
\u201c@nicholasbw My most cherished possession is a poem I found in my grandmother's things after she died, written by her brother who died in 1917 at age 19, to his "pal"\n\nEvery gay person I show it to think it's to his boyfriend. Straight people think it's to best friend\nThe gay past matters \u2665\ufe0f\u201d— Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1672866440
\u201c@nicholasbw My first cousin came out as gay on 1975. (we were 5 months apart in age and went to school together) I always knew. His family disowned him. He died of Aids in 2006 but they didn't tell the rest of our extended family (and we have a big one) until 2010. I was devastated.\u201d— Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1672866440
\u201c@nicholasbw My gay great-uncle David was an absolute lifesaver for me. When he saw that my fundamentalist parents did not exclude me after I came out, he reentered the family life again in his late 60s. We had 30 years with him before he passed at 96.\u201d— Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1672866440
\u201c@nicholasbw Amazing, My great Uncle didn't come out until he was in his late 60's or early 70's and is now living the life he always should have. He has been with Ken for over ten years now. I think he will live to be 100. Glad you got to reconnect your cousin to family.\u201d— Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1672866440
As lovely as this reunion is, hopefully there will be no need for these reunions in the future.
Love and acceptance hopefully replaces ignorance and bigotry.
With that wish, we'll give Nick Barton-Wines the last word.
\u201c@jamesmackblack It was a magical day. \u2728\u201d— Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Nick Barton-Wines \ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1672866440