There's nothing quite like the hurt that comes from a long friendship ending.
But when you realize that you care about them much more than they care about you, sometimes you have to show yourself respect by not putting up with it anymore.
TikToker @yonosoyasi5, for example, had been friends with someone for over 10 years, and he believed that they had a solid, long-lasting friendship and that they'd always be there for each other.
But when his friend sent out wedding invitations and the TikToker discovered that he was not invited, he was a mixture of hurt and confused.
TikToker @yonosoyasi5 reflected:
"Weddings are special moments, and not everyone can go. I get that."
"But I went through so much with this person that I thought I had made the cut."
When the TikToker realized he had not made the cut, however, he decided he wasn't going to put effort into that friendship. If, after 10 years, that person didn't value his company enough to invite him to his wedding, what was the point?
He reflected:
"I'm no longer gonna put in the effort. I wish him the best. I would never wish him ill."
"But to say that I wanna be a part of his life now, it would be very fake. I just don't care anymore."
Two years had passed since TikToker @yonosoyasi5 had not received a wedding invitation, and while how the friendship ended still hurt, he'd made peace with his decision to go separate ways and move on with his life.
He felt prompted to make this video and be vulnerable with his community after he ran into his former friend's brother, who inquired about where he had been.
TikToker @yonosoyasi5 shared:
"I ran into his brother, and his brother was asking me, 'Hey, you know, [my brother] asked about you. How come you don't talk to him anymore?'"
"I was like, 'Hey, your brother knows why.'"
"'He also hasn't talked to me. He hasn't called, texted, asked me to hang out. He clearly doesn't care about this friendship anymore, either.'"
"'I stopped putting in all this extra effort after not getting invited to your brother's wedding.'"
"'What am I gonna hang out with him for? What's the objective of me putting energy into this friendship? Am I gonna get invited to a second wedding?'"
"'For me to spend time and effort on someone says that it has meaning for the future. I don't know how to put it into other words, but I just don't care anymore.'"
You can watch the video here:
Fellow TikTokers completely understood why TikToker @yonosoyasi5 distanced himself from his former friend.
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Friendships and relationships should not exist purely on a transactional basis, but even still, realizing that you're not going to be included for special moments like weddings and birthdays after you've put in a lot of heart and effort would give anyone pause.
Being friendly and civil is fine, but when you realize that a person isn't going to hold space for you when it counts, you really shouldn't hold space for them that will never be reciprocated.
note on @mychal3ts/Threads post