Sometimes a destination wedding is required because of family ties. That's the situation a bride finds herself in.
Like many destination weddings, not everyone can be invited to the ceremony. But when the bride excluded her best friend, tension ensued.
So the bride-to-be turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Redditor thataintfairtome asked:
"AITA for not inviting my lesbian best friend to my wedding just because she's lesbian?
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"My fiancé and I are getting married sometime next year. The ceremony's going to take place in our very, very conservative country of origin (Iran) as a lot of our family lives there."
"That's where I was born and even though I've lived in the US since I was a child, getting married in my home country is something I really want to do."
"Now, fiancé and I are very liberal in our views and so are our parents. But that can't be said for my extended family and the people in Iran."
"I'm not saying all of the population of Iran is very conservative, I'm sure the younger generation is liberal with their views, but a lot of things that are legal in the states are illegal back home."
"My best friend, Sarah, and her girlfriend, Anna, want to attend the ceremony. I told her that it's not a great idea and that we'll throw a party for them when we're back, but she's adamant on wanting to attend the ceremony."
"She thinks that the western media is very biased towards the Middle East and that's why they portray this bad version of Iran. I tried explaining that while I'm sure the media has its biases, I can't risk her and her girlfriend getting jailed or worse."
"I asked her if she would be willing to pretend to be straight for the time while she's there, that means, no PDAs with Anna and no one should know that they're together and she got very offended at this suggestion."
"Sarah thinks I'm the asshole for not inviting her and that I should just get married in the US if back home is so f'ked up."
"I feel like adding that I'm also not inviting any of my other friends and neither is my fiancé inviting any of his, since it would be very, very unfair to Sarah and Anna."
"We've explained the situation to all of them and they agree that a post wedding celebration in the US where everybody can be included is the best idea."
"AITA?"
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors understood the context and decided overwhelmingly that the OP was NTA.
"NTA. This is Iran, all you are doing by not inviting her is keeping her safe." ~ RamblingManUK
"I was ready to say op is the AH, but holy this woman is just openly ignoring the fact that she could be jailed for her sexuality... and then gets offended when told they would have to pretend to be straight?" ~ Goodwin512
"Oh god. NTA. I came here prepared to judge you as in the wrong, but you are completely right. If Sarah doesn't think she and her partner are at risk by going there, she's living in a dreamland." ~ alicesheadband
"Honestly same, I read the title and instantly was prepared to declare Y-T-A. But after reading that post, it's 100% NTA."
"Sarah isn't not being invited because she's lesbian, she's not being invited because being at the wedding location would put her at risk. You're not being homophobic OP, you're just doing your best to protect her."
"All good and well for Sarah to question what she sees in the media, but not when it's potentially putting lives at risk by denying threats." ~ bluebird302
Hopefully in time the OP's best friend will understand as well.
@saywhat25; @jeanielorraine/Bluesky
@notdoingit; @billswallow/Bluesky
@cattheminion; @kriegsspuren/Bluesky
@krassenstein/X