I hate having to give bad news.
When I was in management, I would get my stomach all tangled up when I had to fire people, even the ones who deserved it.
In the past, when I've done casting, nothing is worse than telling someone they didn't get their dream part.
It's soul-crushing for everyone.
Nobody wants to dash other people's spirits and happiness.
You never forget their faces.
Redditor BigMV255 was hoping people would share the times they had to bear bad news, so they asked:
"What was the hardest news you had to break to someone?"
While You Were Sleeping
"My wife was sedated for the birth of our first child. It was a difficult delivery, and the surgeon needed to sedate her. She did not know our daughter died during delivery. I told her when she awakened in recovery. Driving home with no baby was heart-wrenching as well."
- gmthisfeller
Please Be Negative
"In the early 90s, I did counseling and contact tracing for HIV/AIDS. This was before any treatment was available. I told many, many people that they were HIV+. But doing The contact tracing was even harder. We aren't allowed, by law, to say who exposed them to HIV. The hardest ones were the women with children who had no idea that their husband was screwing around, usually with other men."
"They came to the conclusion that their husband had exposed them pretty quickly, but damn, then coming back (the first visit was counseling and a blood draw to test them, usually visiting them in their home) and telling them that they, too, were HIV+ was tough. I doubt many of them are still alive, and it haunts me that I couldn't do much but deliver the bad news."
- Puzzleheaded_Age6550
She's Gone
"Told my dad that my mom had died. He had just seen her at the hospital and said she was doing well-- there was hope in his voice for the first time in months. She died right after he left when her brother was with her. It was one of those rally things. Her brother told me, which, if I'm being totally honest, was probably a harder phone call than the one I made. Then, less than four months later, I told my dad's brothers that he was dead."
- GraciesMomGoingOn83
They're fine, Mum
"My mum had a stroke in late 2022, and her memory regressed quite a lot. She kept asking how my nana and papa (my dad's parents) were since she was always close with them. My papa passed in '20 and my nana in '21. Before the stroke, she already knew and grieved, but the first couple of times she asked I just nodded, smiled, and said 'They're fine Mum.' It took 2-3 days to muster up the courage to tell her."
- AlwaysPlantin
He Passed
"Telling my mom over the phone while she’s in the hospital that I just found my dad in bed, passed away. She was in so much denial that he had died, she tried to convince me that 'Maybe he’s just doped up on sleeping pills.' I wished it were true, but I had already known he was gone when I tried to move him. Stiff as a board."
"Paramedics came in and confirmed he died. Mom was still on the phone and heard everything. I never knew heartbreak could have a sound until I heard my mom break down on the phone. I tried to keep my composure, but I ended up having to mute the phone call and let some tears out of myself. This was almost two years ago."
- CuteBunnyy-10
Screams
"My client was babysitting an abandoned child. The mother had been gone months, and the child had no medical coverage. My client wanted temporary custody in order to get the child on her insurance. We had a custody hearing scheduled. The mother got notice and returned the night before the hearing and wanted custody. My client allowed the child to go with the mother. During that night the child died due to the mother’s neglect."
"I was pulled into the judge's chamber and informed that the hearing had been canceled and why. I was given the task of informing the client. I took her into a conference room outside the courtroom. We sat down and I told her I had something awful I needed to tell her. I then told her the baby was dead. The scream was one of the most bloodcurdling sounds I have ever heard and I am a Marine Corps veteran."
"My heart was broken for her, and I was livid at the system that allowed the mother to take this child and kill it. I was certain that the mother did it out of jealousy, but I wasn’t a party to her case any longer as my client’s fight was over. One of the hardest days I had as an attorney."
- Retired_Jarhead55
Going Down
"A plane had crashed. It was one of two that was traveling with two families, the dads were pilots. They mixed all up between the planes and I had to tell one husband and one wife that their spouses had died along with several of each’s children. Still bothers me today."
- hickorynut60
The Flicker
"Telling my sister our dad had died. What’s worse is she thought I’d said he was dying, I had to correct her and say no, he’s dead. If he were actively dying we may have got a chance to say goodbye. It hurts so much knowing that flicker of hope was there for a second to be crushed by the inevitable."
- Downtown-Ad9409
"I hope you're doing well. I had to break the same news to my sister. I can still remember the exact words from our conversation and how she said them."
- Can_O_Murica
87
"I live in a floodplain. My 87-year-old neighbor asked if he could try pumping part of my property, as he'd had little success in draining his. I honestly didn't think it would help, (nor did I really want him to) but also would have felt bad saying no to an elderly guy. He came over, set up, and we got a neighbor to help."
"I had to go back inside for work, and the other neighbor stepped away. I came out about an hour later to find the 87-year-old dead of a heart attack, right in front of my house. If that didn't suck enough, I then had to tell his 50-something son, who was recovering from a stroke, and he, in turn, asked me to explain it to his niece because he couldn't articulate what happened."
- Ok-Mirror-3632
The Coma
"Mom and her 4-year-old daughter were in a house fire. Mom had 3rd degree burns over 60% of her body. She was put in a medically induced coma. After extubating the mom a few days later, my roommate (a surgery resident) had to tell her that her daughter was brain-dead."
- Cute-1Muse
My Son
"I had to tell my son (not biological, no legal rights to him), that I wanted to divorce his dad. I barely see him now, and he doesn't even consider me his parent anymore. I don't really know how to deal with it. I don't even think I'm supposed to still call him my son, but how do you become a not parent to someone you've parented, largely by yourself, for eight years?"
- SexyaBabe
Sad Lonely GIF by PokémonGiphy
Monster
"When I was very young, my mother ran into dad's recent ex in the grocery store, and they became close friends. But partly on mom's advice, she moved far away and cut all contact with everyone from around here to keep her (and I assume her pregnancy) safe from my monster of a dad."
When I was in college the ex emailed me, trying to get back in contact with my mom. I had to tell her that mom had died just a year or two before. And then I had to tell her dad was still alive. Never heard from her again, but I plan to reach out again when dad's dead to let her know it's safe now and ask if I can meet my sibling."
- OpheliaRainGalaxy
The Change
"I had to tell everyone I knew that I changed my gender. I have lost oh so many friends and relatives because of that. My friends even sent me death threats, And my relatives said they were disgusted and that they couldn't believe they shared the same blood as me. It was worth it, though; later on, I found people who accepted me for who I wanted to be, And they're the realest ones I have ever been around with."
- Nervous-Enthusiasm72
She Ran
"I was a stay-at-home mom when our German Shepard ran out of the house, across the street, and was hit by a car and killed. The contractor that was working at our house buried our sweet girl in the backyard. I had to tell our young son and my husband that she died. The only good thing about that was all three of us were together and able to comfort each other. My husband went in the garage, made a cross, I put her name on it, and all of us went to her grave."
- No-Garlic-3407
Where's Dad?
"A family at the church I am a minister for went through a pretty tragic accident about 2 years ago. The husband/dad went for a Sunday afternoon drive, wrapped his car around a tree, and was killed in the accident. The wife got the call that he was in an accident. Had their friends watch the 3 kids while she went to the hospital - where she discovered her husband had died immediately on impact."
"We went home with her friends and her parents, and I was sitting with her when her kids came home. Her kids came in saying 'Where's dad? Is he okay?' and we pulled them into the living room and told them their dad had been killed in a car accident.
The horrific screams from the 7, 10, and 13-year-old kids - collectively - are burned into my brain. As a minister, I have to help relay information like this often, but this one was the worst. The 10-year-old screamed for about 20 minutes straight."
- ministerman
Why can't we only ever receive good news?
Death and despair, it all seems inescapable.
I hope all of these people found help and counseling.
Sending out healing vibes to all.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
@GregAbbott_TX/X
