Buying a drink for someone is considered a gesture of flirting or a pickup line—not a binding obligation.
The worst feeling in the world is when someone takes advantage of you however.
One guy at a Toronto bar found that out the hard way. Redditor Choice_Rock went to the popular subReddit "Am I The A**hole?" or "AITA" to find out if he was being a jerk or being justified in feeling taken advantage of.
He was just out, enjoying a night on the town, when he offered to buy a girl a drink:
"I'm m[ale] 23 and few months ago I was at a nice bar in Toronto with my boys and I saw this really hot girl."
"Decided to shoot my shot and we spoke and danced for a bit and I offered to buy her a drink and she gladly accompanied me to the bar, when I got there I was like can I have a beer and whatever she wants."
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She then took advantage of him immediately.
"She promptly says can I get 4 double shots of 1942. Thats like $75 a shot for a double of 1942, and I was like 'wtf?' and she said they're for her friends and patted me on the back."
"When the bartender came back I slapped a $10 bill on the table and told him she'd be covering the shots and walked away. She was pissed and yelling the normal insults lol."
He thought it was over, but then somehow the story got back to his mom:
"Well it turns out my mom works with her and they were talking and my mom showed her a picture of me and she instantly recognized me and remembered my name and told my mom about what I did. My mom then called me and said I'm a huge a**hole and told me to send her the cost of the 4 drinks which was like $325 with tips."
Our original poster, or OP, is pretty sure he's not a jerk, but his mom and this girl don't seem to agree:
"I just laughed and told my mom I'm not doing that and my mom said that the girl thinks I'm a huge a**hole and d*uche and she agrees LOL. AITA?"
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Redditors decided where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH - No A**holes Here
Everybody believed OP was well within his rights to refuse her.
"I was all ready to say you were TA till reading the part where you offered her a drink and she ordered FOUR! WHAT THE HELL.
"NTA, she tried some bull move that you rebuffed. She knew she was taking the mick when she patted you. I'm impressed with your nerve to straight up reject that and walk away."
"Side note hilarious that it still bugs her!"~amyliz436
"NTA, she took advantage of you being interested in her and it's very rude for her to snitch on you to your mother like a 7 year old."~KeremsWorld
"NTA. She was totally trying to take advantage of a nice gesture. You'd be an a**hole if she ordered a simple drink just for her, but you are by no means required to spend over 300 dollars for her friends too. If anything she is the a**hole expecting you to by drinks for her whole group."~Hannah1111111112
"NTA. Though you should have stopped the barkeep before he had time to pour the drinks. Would have saved him a lot of trouble probably."~arewereadyforthis
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After all, who has the money to drop $300 on drinks for some friends you've never met?
"NTA. You said you would buy her a drink and she thought she could $325 worth of shots for her friends? C'mon. You could have handled it more smoothly but you're not an a**hole per se. If your mom feels so strongly she can give her the money and say it's from you."~throwawaytimes101
"NTA. I thought this was going to be a case of 'offered to buy a girl a drink but she didn't want to sleep with me so I left her the tab' but nope, this threw me a curveball. It was awful of her to try and get you to pay for expensive drinks for all her friends when that isn't what you offered. I can't understand why your mom would take her side."~badb-crow
"NTA. If someone offered to buy me a drink I wouldn't ask for a round for my friends... that just takes the piss. $325 seems like a crap ton of money. Although I'm not sure of the exchange rate between Toronto and the UK... I think there is chivalry and courtesy, but that has a limit when another person wants to take the piss."~QTeaDragon
"NTA. Absolutely not. Bonkers and supremely rude of the woman to take advantage like that, and what crazy drink is your mum on to tell you to send the cost of the drinks over?"~readingismyzen
"NTA. I can't believe she had the audacity to order not one $75 drink, but 4. If I were her, I wouldn't be able to tell someone this story without wishing to dissapear from embarassment."~tickeymouse
"NTA - I am proud of you for not letting that girl take advantage of you. Her behaviour was rude and totally unacceptable."
"Your mom needs to get a sense of perspective here too, she should be chastising the girl for trying to manipulate her son. Again, no way are you the A/h."~ApartLocksmith1
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Offering to buy someone a drink for one person does not equate to being obligated to pay for the most expensive alcohol available for an entire group.
Once OP found he was being taken advantage of, he took away his offer, which he was well within his rights to do. Maybe it's time to retire that antiquated tradition and just say hello to people you find attractive.
*If you enjoyed this article, you can read more like it by clicking on the AITA link below.*