When we grow up, there's some expectation that we let go of the things we cherished as children.
Things that are comforting may seem childish, but may actually serve an important emotional or practical purpose.
And we owe zero explanations to the folks who refuse to understand that. Even if those people are our significant others.
Redditor aitapyjamaboy logged onto the popular subReddit "Am I The A**hole?" or "AITA" to ask a simple question:
"AITA for wearing pajamas in bed?"
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The problem is simple, yet infuriating.
I (29 m(ale)) prefer going to bed wearing pajama top and pants. I always have as it's just more comfortable for me and I get cold. However, my boyfriend (30m) hates it. He only wears boxers to bed, but we sleep in the same bed.
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For some unknown reason, our original poster, or OP's boyfriend comes down hard on the side of disliking pajamas.
"He's asked me multiple times to just wear boxers like him and he says it's 'rigid and childish.' Last night he refused to let me get into bed until I had taken off my pajamas and I spent the whole night cold."
"He says that, seeing as I am currently staying at his apartment, I should follow his rules, which includes no pajamas in bed."
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OP is left with one question, which seems rather obvious:
"AITA for preferring to wear pajamas?"
Redditors answered the question by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH - No A**holes Here
There was almost unanimous agreement that OP was in no way in the wrong.
"NTA. This is controlling and manipulative behaviour, not to mention strange. Don't listen to your boyfriend, and don't allow him to bully you into doing anything you aren't comfortable with."~Mynsii
"NTA -OP your BF is throwing up bunch of đ©đ©, sorry but that's a little controlling there. He's asked you to be uncomfortable so he can be comfortable & using 'my place my rules' in which case it's ok for you to be uncomfortable while staying at his place."
"How is that even fair?. Today pj's tomorrow something else & when does it stop. Ask yourself if you're at your place and ask him to sleep with pj's on will he? NTA"~20MLSE20
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"Definitely not NTA. That's so weird and controlling. I'm the same way though. My boyfriend wears virtually nothing and I sometimes wear 4 layers."
"Granted he loves that I wear layers because he shoves his cold hands up my shirt and leeches my warmth. Pay attention what your boyfriend is doing is red flags. Turn around and leave (if you can) don't stick around."~_Conway_
"It seems like his BF is accusing OP of passive-aggressively denying him sex by wearing PJs to bed. It's like the bad, predictable sitcom scenario where you can hear wife getting ready for bed in the en-suite bath while the husband is already in bed with obvious amorous anticipation."
"When she finally makes her arrival, she's wearing sweats and loudly complains about a headache. The husband then always says some variation of 'Alright, I get it! No action tonight. You don't have to be so dramatic about it'."
"Apparently the sitcom trope of the frigid wife who controls her bumbling idiot husband with her sexual wiles isn't reserved solely for cis-het couples anymore. Yay! Progress."~Les1lesley
Most people are in agreement that this is weird and controlling behavior.
"NTA. My boyfriend has the 'rule' of no clothes while I'm in his bed. But it's more him pretending he gets to be the boss and it's all fun and games."
"If he does actually want me not wearing clothes he turns the heat up and makes sure I'm comfortable first. OP's boyfriend is being controlling. Nothing is more miserable than being cold, especially when trying to fall asleep."~S-Crumby
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"How controlling do you have to be to not allow someone to wear sleepwear while sleeping, passing off the excuse that it's 'childish and frigid.' NTA"~Nute-Funray
"NTA. Jesus Christ, that kind of controlling behavior is a red flag."
"Homeboy needs to realize that he doesn't have dominion over other people's bodies (cue the "your body, your choice" axiom) and cannot dictate the manner in which one sleeps."
"Dude seriously resorted to demeaning you and refusing to share the bed with you because you took steps to make sure that you're comfortable and able to sleep through the night."
"If your boyfriend wanted to engage his brain, he could easily get you a set of nice pajamas that could keep you warm enough while being thin enough to give him some (almost) skin-to-skin contact that he values. ~Komrade_Kompromat
The consensus was that OP's boyfriend was exhibiting some worrying behavior.
While we don't know how long OP and his boyfriend have been together, a caring partner should value their significant others comfort over their own rules.
*If you enjoyed this article, you can read more like it by clicking on the AITA link below.*
If you get cold easily, these pajamas are available here in a variety of colors and sizes.
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