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Hello, it's your nightmares calling!
No offense to any Floridians reading, but it is a well-known fact that Florida is the most terrifying state in the union, on the basis that it is literally full of Burmese pythons and I am never going to Florida again!
Now I hear what you're saying: "God, just stay away from the Everglades you coward, it's fine."
Okay sure, avoid the Everglades. Except the Everglades are no longer the only dangerous part of Florida, considering there are actual dinosaurs roaming Flordia's surburban golf courses!
Where in Florida is safe, I ask you?!
Sure the mainstream media will tell you that's just a very large "alligator" but I'm not so sure.
Floridians have nicknamed this guy Chubbs, because to be fair a name like "OH MY GOD WHY IS THERE A LITERAL DINOSAUR ON THIS GOLF COURSE" is impractically verbose. He showed up at the Buffalo Creek Golf Course in Palmetto, Florida last week and is taking the internet by storm again.
Yes, "again," because this isn't the first time he's been sighted: he first made a splash back in 2016, which means Floridians have spent two entire years sharing their state with a dinosaur.
Golfer Sage Stryczny captured good ol' Chubbs while golfing with his dad the other day.
"He was a beast," he told Tampa NBC station WFLA. "Me and my dad were about to hit off the tee on a par 3 and we saw him lying right on the green." He added that it seemed as if Chubbs was en route to a different pond and just needed a rest along the way, which is just entirely too humanizing a portrait for my taste, but fine.
When Chubbs first appeared in 2016, a clerk in the course's pro shop, Wendy Schofield, told NBC station News 3 in Las Vegas that, "He doesn't bother anybody and they don't bother him," which LOL is exactly what he WANTS you to think.
Anyway, as you might expect would happen when a dinosaur turns up on a putting green, the internet has lost its mind over ol' Chubbs.
@EmilyErinDill @Breaking911 @helloitsdill That is a long lost dinosaur— vic evans (@vic evans) 1539715533.0
(TOLD YOU SO.)
@coachevans1973 @Breaking911 @helloitsdill It’s honestly kind of petrifying. 😂— Emily Dill 📚 (@Emily Dill 📚) 1539715694.0
@Breaking911 @HDoomguy I've had this gif saved for years and just now found a use for it https://t.co/kZ2lDs5b5C— Niche Gamer (@Niche Gamer) 1539722684.0
@Breaking911 Chubbs is always making the news! 😅😂 I live 2 minutes from this golf course.— Branton Griffin (@Branton Griffin) 1539775436.0
@RealBaoZakeruga @Breaking911 @RevolvingBunker @WestTownHD @TeenyFox @Soulz0Soulz We need to slice Florida off from the rest of the US.— CozyKomala (also on ko-fi!) (@CozyKomala (also on ko-fi!)) 1539784520.0
@CozyKomala @RealBaoZakeruga @Breaking911 @RevolvingBunker @WestTownHD @Soulz0Soulz Chubbs looks like he requires h… https://t.co/o9fJX2OyCz— The Empress 🦊 (@The Empress 🦊) 1539790676.0
(THIS IS WHAT I'M SAYING.)
@EveningStandard Another reason to not like golf!— Tanna Swann (@Tanna Swann) 1539792737.0
#GettingAlong "He doesn't bother anybody, and they don't bother him." https://t.co/KXEoAZTKpB https://t.co/FYnDp7d3vc— mlex (@mlex) 1539871968.0
@Breaking911 I dont know a lot about reptile aging, but I think Chubbs here may have seen the beginning of mankind,… https://t.co/c1Eg92nypD— We are all Monsters. she/her (maybe pan?) (@We are all Monsters. she/her (maybe pan?)) 1539754970.0
In conclusion, here's Chubbs trying to eat an entire flock of vultures or something:
#Chubbs is back! Another sighting of everyone's favorite gargantuan golf course gator, this time reminding his feat… https://t.co/MGsaNnNVvM— Chris Cato FOX 13 (@Chris Cato FOX 13) 1523333906.0
Enjoy your next vacation!
H/T HuffingtonPost, Vice