Hello, it's your nightmares calling!
No offense to any Floridians reading, but it is a well-known fact that Florida is the most terrifying state in the union, on the basis that it is literally full of Burmese pythons and I am never going to Florida again!
Now I hear what you're saying: "God, just stay away from the Everglades you coward, it's fine."
Okay sure, avoid the Everglades. Except the Everglades are no longer the only dangerous part of Florida, considering there are actual dinosaurs roaming Flordia's surburban golf courses!
Where in Florida is safe, I ask you?!
Sure the mainstream media will tell you that's just a very large "alligator" but I'm not so sure.
Floridians have nicknamed this guy Chubbs, because to be fair a name like "OH MY GOD WHY IS THERE A LITERAL DINOSAUR ON THIS GOLF COURSE" is impractically verbose. He showed up at the Buffalo Creek Golf Course in Palmetto, Florida last week and is taking the internet by storm again.
Yes, "again," because this isn't the first time he's been sighted: he first made a splash back in 2016, which means Floridians have spent two entire years sharing their state with a dinosaur.
Golfer Sage Stryczny captured good ol' Chubbs while golfing with his dad the other day.
"He was a beast," he told Tampa NBC station WFLA. "Me and my dad were about to hit off the tee on a par 3 and we saw him lying right on the green." He added that it seemed as if Chubbs was en route to a different pond and just needed a rest along the way, which is just entirely too humanizing a portrait for my taste, but fine.
When Chubbs first appeared in 2016, a clerk in the course's pro shop, Wendy Schofield, told NBC station News 3 in Las Vegas that, "He doesn't bother anybody and they don't bother him," which LOL is exactly what he WANTS you to think.
Anyway, as you might expect would happen when a dinosaur turns up on a putting green, the internet has lost its mind over ol' Chubbs.
(TOLD YOU SO.)
(THIS IS WHAT I'M SAYING.)
In conclusion, here's Chubbs trying to eat an entire flock of vultures or something:
Enjoy your next vacation!
H/T HuffingtonPost, Vice
@consequence/X
@realDonaldTrump/Truth Social
