People Who Slept With Their Best Friend Describe The Aftermath

When two people have a deep and meaningful friendship, the question might eventually come up of whether or not they could be more. Agreeing that their friendship might deserve more, they might try to date or at least explore physical intimacy.

But crossing that line carries with it consequences, and it's only once the pair crosses that line that they'll find out if crossing it was good or bad.

Curious, Redditor Sweet_Cupcake749302 asked:

"People who had sex with their best friend, what's the situation now?"

An Awkward, Slippery Slope

"We don’t talk anymore. We went from talking daily to things getting serious one night after a party. We went from sex to dating briefly, but she has some unfinished business with her ex."

"We broke up so she could have some time to figure out what she wanted, and we’d talk on the phone occasionally to check in as we used to as friends, but you could tell there was a weird feeling in the air. One day, we stopped calling and haven’t talked in five years."

"I do still think about her on occasion since we were friends long before we tried to date, and I hear about her in conversation with our mutual friends, but I only think of her as a friend."

"I actually met an amazing woman in college, and we got married last October, and we have three cats."

- Fun-Storage-7909

A Messy Breakup

"Yeah... it's such a strange pain. It's not exactly the pain of a breakup, but something messier."

"One minute, you're sharing memes and pouring out your trauma at 2 a.m., and the next minute, it's silence and blocked stories."

"We tried to pretend that nothing had changed, but everything had. Eye contact felt different. Laughter seemed forced. And eventually, that was it."

- LovelyAuroraa

A Healed Friendship

"I had a very, very hard time getting over her. I was incredibly depressed, lost, and not sure what to do with myself for months after."

"We tried to continue our friendship, but it wasn’t healthy for me to be around her. I still felt jealous and felt a toxic sense of joy when things went wrong for her."

"Four years later, we are now very good friends again. There are very firm boundaries in place as I have a long-term partner, but we have both apologized and forgiven each other for how things worked out. Having space from each other was the best way to heal, and we can now have a healthy friendship."

- violetliberty

Not Quite Right

"We were best friends for years. We studied together and at some point worked together. When we worked together, I got too big of a crush on her, we kissed one night, and everything got a bit awkward after that. Following that, I withdrew a bit and found something else to do."

"We still kept in touch and still had many good evenings because we still knew each other incredibly well. After a couple of years, one of those evenings turned into another kiss. This time was initiated by her."

"We talked a lot that evening and the following day and eventually decided to give a relationship a chance. We were happy for a while, but never really as happy as when we were just friends, ironically. Eventually, we broke up."

"Today I am happy, though alone. I haven’t truly met someone since her, but I also really enjoy being alone. She met another guy and they are moving in together. I’m super happy for them. We still talk and catch up every now and then, but less than ever. No had feelings and friendship intact, though less intense."

- Jerk_oftheland

Changed Dynamic

"It became weirdly awkward, but we kept sleeping together for a few months. It just became awkward when hanging out in public. We eventually decided we might as well just be dating, but something never felt right, so now we haven't spoken in many years."

"Not a happy story like most of the others, but very real. Sometimes it just changes the dynamic."

- Southernhammer

"D**n, this hurt to read, because I'm in the middle of it."

- -DeerBra

Happily Ever After

"We were stupid teenagers when we met while working together and became besties pretty quickly. We witnessed each other's best and worst nonsense for nearly a decade."

"Somewhere in our late twenties, we confessed our love for one another out of nowhere while on a call. I lived in another city at the time, so he drove over four hours to see me."

"I was so nervous and excited when he got to my place that I kinda made him chase me around my apartment before we pounced on each other."

"We’ve been happily married for nearly 15 years, have a kiddo, and have two cats."

- WanderingMyschf

In Sickness And In Health

"She is asleep in her hospital bed in the living room. Hoping to be able to celebrate 36 years together in a few days."

- naked_nomad

"I hope that for you, as well."

- CooCooForCocosPuffs

"36 years is incredible."

- prstele01

Would Recommend

"She's my wife now. No plans yet on having kids, but we have three cats. Life is good. 10/10 would sleep with her for the first time again."

- PortaSponge

Adulting At Its Finest

"I confessed my feelings, and he didn't reciprocate. He married someone else."

"I eventually did find my actual best friend and married him."

"My friend and I are still great friends, and I actually love his wife, lol. There's no bitterness or awkwardness."

"I think we're all trying in our own way to make the friendships and relationships the best that they can be. Things worked out how they were supposed to."

- Starmiebuckss2882

A Slow But Good Start

"We're married, and we have a cat, two kids, and a house."

"It wasn't smooth sailing. We kissed when we were, like, 19, and it was super weird, and we didn't really talk for, like, a year. But we had friends in common, so we couldn't really avoid each other, so we started chatting again."

"Eventually, we would talk every day again, and then when we were, like, 24, we kissed again and pretty quickly got into a relationship after that."

"I think we moved in together four months after that kiss. There didn't seem much point waiting when we already knew everything about each other."

- fang_xianfu

No Denying It

"I’ll try to make a long story short. It wasn’t sudden, but the culmination of a couple years of gradual submission to knowing we were more than friends for each other."

"It was college, and we both had long-term significant others. Nobody wanted to hurt anybody, but there was no denying it: we were hooked on each other. It was obvious to everyone, but we couldn’t do anything about it because of our pre-existing relationships."

"In our youthful ignorance, we put priority on 'what was expected' of us, and tried to ignore our feelings and instead stay with our relationship partners."

"As our other (toxic) relationships degraded, we supported the other through the breakups. It was pretty tough on each of us, and a big social challenge to navigate. It was… hard."

"Eventually, everything fell into place. We had graduated, put some distance between ourselves and the toxic relationships that were holding us back, and started the life we wanted together."

"That was 15 years ago… and everything is perfect."

"We now have a cat. We're married, and we have awesome kids."

- gmcarve

Perfect For Them!

"He has two kids with our ex-housemate, and I’m their godparent! We got the timing wrong when we were younger, and it didn’t work out."

"Things got messy for a few years, but we love each other to bits, and seeing how much he loves being a father makes me so happy, and his kids mean the world to me. We see each other as family now, and both feel so lucky to be part of each other’s lives."

"His wife is also a close friend of mine. We’ve always been very open about our history (it was a bit of a love triangle at first), but this was a decade ago, and we’ve all moved on and grown up. She’s mature enough to see that love can exist in different forms and that all we want to do is to see each other and the children live happy lives."

"We can all move on from things, and not everyone feels the need to cling to feelings from the past. We actually did move away from each other’s lives (they currently live on the opposite side of the world), but it's actually his partner who has helped me arrange my trips when I’ve visited; we have our own long-standing friendship, too. I supported her through pregnancy, and she supported me through a very challenging time in my life."

"Our relationship might be unusual, but it’s not impossible to have a healthy and loving friendship just because there was history. She’s a very straightforward person, and she wouldn’t have hesitated to tell me if she didn’t want me to be around (and I would’ve respected it)."

"When there are kids in the mix, your attitudes change, and silly stuff from the past becomes much less important than having people who care about each other in your and their circle."

- Old-Original1965

The Real Thing

"We had been friends since eighth grade and became best friends around high school. We went to different schools, but would talk on AIM all day and night."

"We saw each other go through a couple of s**tty relationships. I honestly think those relationships were bad because whoever we were dating at the time thought there was something more between us, lol."

"We became friends with benefits in college since we went to the same school, and it was easier to have time together. One night, we were talking, and we came to the conclusion that we both wanted this to be a real thing, and that was that."

'We have been married for almost six years, and we have a son together. If I count the time we were friends with benefits, this year will be 16 years together."

"Sometimes, it gets boring because, since we've been together for so long, there's not much to talk about, but I wouldn't trade this. We both know everything about each other, our likes and dislikes, and because of that, things just flow easier."

- Marixlush

Totally Great

"On July first, we will be married for eight years! We have two kids, including a six-year-old boy and four-year-old girl. We moved out of state and have a mortgage in her hometown."

"We met through a group of friends, and our relationship slowly grew from acquaintances to best friends. When I first met my wife, it was at a pool party. She was holding this huge baby, and I was like NOPE!"

"A few months went by, and I saw her at another party. I asked her where the baby was, and she was confused. Turns out it was our mutual friends’ brother’s baby. My wife just loves babies."

"Anyway, we basically just started talking when we saw each other about everything. It was natural and easy to be around each other. Over the years, we dated other people as our friendship kept growing."

"I was in one serious relationship that lasted a few years, and after that, I didn’t want to be in a relationship for a while. At the same time, my future wife started catching feelings for me as we started hanging out more and more."

"After a while, I noticed it, and it led to sex, which then made our friendship more like friends with benefits. We could have been in a relationship a lot quicker, but I was scared of ruining what we had if we got together officially. Had a lot of what-ifs like, 'What if we have a nasty break up, I’d lose not just my girlfriend but also one of my best friends!'"

"We went on a Cancun trip together, had a serious talk, and agreed to take some time from each other. The next week, we met again at another party after not talking to each other since we got back from Cancun. I told her I couldn’t do it anymore and that I missed her. We got together that night."

"That party was also a bachelor party for one of our friends, so I went out to a strip club. She picked me up afterwards since I was drunk. We went back to her place, and I told her that I love her that same night."

"The next morning, she asked me, 'Do you remember what you said to me last night when you were drunk?' I looked her dead in the eyes and said, 'I’ll say it again. I love you.' She said it back, but was still hesitant about it."

"I replied with, 'First night as you as my girlfriend and you take me to a strip club without you getting angry about it!? Yeah, this is going to be great.'"

"And it has been!"

- Loco-Moco

Plus Cats!

"Friends for a few years, drunken sex, started dating that next day, dated for six years, and finally married for 16 years this Halloween."

- Eywgxndoansbridb

"But do you have cats?"

- matt011209

"At this point, people are just waiting for the 'we now have [insert number of cats]' at the end of every story."

- _Yohan_Akagi_

"Basically, if you had sex with your best friend, you either end up not talking anymore, or you end up married with cats. I don't make the rules."

- Hollywizzle311

Heartwarmingly, most of these attempts at being more were actually the right move for these Redditors, and they were able to grow their friendship into something even more beautiful than it was.

And for those who experienced it not working out, many of them went on to find new relationships they may not have otherwise explored.

And we cannot forget the cats. Oh, so many cats!