Imagine you buy tickets to an event as a birthday gift for your kid without reading the details. When it comes time for the event, you read the details and realize it's not something you can attend.
Do You:
a. Apologize profusely to your child for not reading the details and getting their hopes up.
b. Learn from this experience and read the details before you spend thousands of dollars on tickets.
c. Try to re-sell the tickets and recover some money so that you can do something else amazing for the birthday kid.
d. All of the above.
If you're "Churchboy To Millionaire" author, Douglas Woods, you choose e. None of the above.
Instead, you print out and burn the tickets in a pseudo-political (and technically pointless since they were mobile tickets anyway) protest that tries to blame a teenage singer for you not reading.
You then post video of that burning claiming you AND your daughters decided to burn them even though your daughters are nowhere to be seen in the video. You tell a story about how you made your kids cry and then tag that video with things like #Freedom and #Patriot.
And then you get roasted by Twitter for it.
Douglas Woods posted video of his "protest" against singer Olivia Rodrigo because the venue she was performing at that day had a vaccine requirement. That information was available when he spent $3500 on the tickets for his daughters birthday, but he didn't read it.
It was available in the days between his purchase and concert date, but he didn't read it.
The author continued to not read - and his kids continued to build in excitement - up until the day of the event. That's when Woods finally read and realized the venue required attendees to be vaccinated.
Vaccines are not something Woods believes in for himself or his family.
And that's how we find ourselves with this Option E video.
Why my daughters and I decided to burn 🔥 our $3,500 Olivia Rodrigo Tickets!
Take a stand! #freedom #holdtheline #Patriot #Usa pic.twitter.com/UdNuBZx7C2
— Douglas Wood (@TheRealDougWood) May 19, 2022
And the responses to that Option E video is how Twitter is helping us get through our morning.
Some people like a dark roast to start their day. Some people like a light roast for something less bitter and intense.
Us? We like to start our day with a Twitter roast.
If you don't get your way because you are too lazy to read, you act like a petulant child and cry on the internet.
Teaching your kids how to be spoiled and self entitled. Teaching your kids that rules shouldn't apply to them. @TheRealDougWood is a BAD parent. https://t.co/37SyiNHtSF
— RPGrinders (@RPGrinders) May 23, 2022
Exactly. He said "my daughter's and I decided....". I'm thinking yeah right. He decided... after not reading the conditions of the tickets and then forcing them not to go and probably forcing them to not get the vaccines as well. Now that's how you teach them about freedumb!
— Don't Say No to Panda (@patilao) May 21, 2022
This fucking clown burning printed screenshots of his mobile delivery tickets. You're a loser dude. https://t.co/ll600aqH28
— itza322⁷🍊🌞 (@itza322) May 21, 2022
Those may have been valid tickets, but they were obviously printed at home. I’m willing to bet he sold them, either before or after these theatrics.
— Paul Shanahan (@Psha1967) May 20, 2022
Lol. You do realize this isn’t 2004, when you literally only had a printed ticket from the vendor. This is basically just a print out of the ticket, that’s also probably a QR code on an app. So this is just for showmanship. You could just StubHub/SeatGeek it and sell it also.
— owen rooney (@rooney_owen) May 20, 2022
It’s the bleached 90’s hair and red from alcohol abuse skin tone that really hammers this home for me.
But i guess…good for you😏 https://t.co/1PzSNwN1aK
— 𝒫ℯ𝓉𝓎𝓎 𝒞𝓇ℴ𝒸𝓀ℯ𝓇 (@SnshinePrincess) May 20, 2022
Should have read the conditions of the ticket purchase. The artists have to protect their entire crew who interact with the audience by their proximity. There’s too much riding on the health of the tour. They already have your money. You didn’t have the sense to read. Loser🤷♂️
— Dana D 🌊 (@bluesslide) May 20, 2022
Olivia as she gets paid cuz he still didn't get his money back https://t.co/TmUo9YnZBE pic.twitter.com/7bf7l3jg9n
— Sam the Man (@samthamann) May 20, 2022
Ah, because you didn't read the terms before purchasing? You don't have any vaxxed friends you could give them to? Of course not.
— sara smith 🐕🐘🦴🚀 (@enlightenme888) May 20, 2022
Ma’am, we know you sold them to other folks, but keep up the big beta energy!
— Mark Dwiz (@IMBARef) May 20, 2022
This is awesome for the people who get to see the stage better since your frosted tips won’t be in their sight lines. It’s also great for Olivia who still had your money. #Freedumb
— Mikey Knab (@MikeyKnew) May 21, 2022
The way it's described, the daughters didn't "make a choice" they were forced, which basically makes this an act of emotional abuse.
— EireKnight stands with Ukraine 🇺🇦 (@Eireknight) May 21, 2022
Damn calm down JJ pic.twitter.com/SRPMz9GQuj
— James Bradley (@Broski007) May 20, 2022
The concert went wonderfully for those in attendance, from what we understand. No word on whether Doug sold the e-tickets or not, as the tickets he burned were definitely printed and could easily have been reprinted or used electronically.
Comedy Central
Comedy Central
@fallontonight/Instagram
@fallontonight/Instagram
@fallontonight/Instagram
@fallontonight/Instagram
@fallontonight/Instagram
@fallontonight/Instagram
@fallontonight/Instagram
@fallontonight/Instagram
@fallontonight/Instagram
@fallontonight/Instagram
@fallontonight/Instagram