oh-myyy-ribbon

Comprehensive sex education is lacking, but some of the things people are taught are simply bonkers. For example, the stimga around HIV is still rampant. And the idea that women get the periods during full moons is laughable. Still, these things are taught, despite their harmful lack of truth. Sex is a part of life, and people have the right to know how it works.

wollyhammock asked, People who received no or terrible sex education: what was the most wildly inaccurate thing you were taught or told about sex and sexual health?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

Religion keeping people in the dark about sex? Groundbreaking.

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I received absolutely no sex education. I was raised a religious fundamentalist, married at 19 to a girl that was as ignorant as I was and lost our virginity on our wedding night. Married for 13 years. I learned what and where a clitoris was from my 2nd sexual partner at the age of 32.

ImNoScientician

This is so sad.

In addition to the usual (condoms aren't effective, sex before marriages gives you cancer, zero information about discharge or where clitoris is located) I was taught that women don't feel sexual arousal. At all. Those who think they do are just confused. Women have sex to please men and make babies, no other reason.

I still wonder if the woman who taught me this was just asexual and didn't know it, and she assumed this was the norm.

dreamfisher

It really depends on the penis.

Giphy

I always thought you were supposed to be really gentle with the penis. So my first time giving a hand job I had the lightest grip possible so I wouldn't hurt him. When he showed me just how I was shocked lol.

I also thought your period was supposed to be just a dot of blood, hence the name "period." Had a rude awakening with that one.

nicestpossibleway

This is a lot to, erm... wow.

I taught that a woman releases a special chemical in her brain during/right after sex that makes her attached to the man for the rest of her life, because he made that happen. Only women tho, and only your first.

My parents were so hellbent on this that me and my mom often argued about it... she was adamant that I could barely know the guy, yet this would happen and it would ruin my life, she was that convinced (as a teen, they didn't like my boyfriend and used this to say I won't know who he will grow up into, in highschool you've known him only a few years, this will forever taint your life when you eventually get married etc.... very strong belief they hold). Many other misconceptions as well, but that's the craziest. Others include:

*Tampons cause infertility because the ovaries cannot 'air out'

*Having cold feet outside leads to infertility by 'freeze damage' to the ovaries

*Sex is a donation to a man, not at all something to share as it can never truly be pleasurable for the woman. However, you're in luck because women happen to release a forever-bonding chemical when she loses her virginity so you won't mind "doing what is needed to him when do you have to".

*Women/girls do not discharge. It's either dry, or period time.

Manonxo

No such thing huh...

My mum told me there was no such thing as ovulation when I was 9. To this day I haven't had the courage to ask her how she thinks I got here!

kirstopheles

The worst thing to teach about sex is that it's somehow bad.

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Basically sex = your life is ruined and there's nothing you can do about it then.

Little bit inaccurate.

NumberOneBacon

This sort of HIV stigma still exists, and it's dangerous.

That you can get pregnant from hugging and that you can get AIDS from kissing. It was 1999 when it had been proven that HIV was not spread through casual contact.

gouwbadgers

"Watching the animals" are probably not the best example of how to teach sex.

My sex ed was cassette tapes of an old man basically just saying don't have sex before marriage, but one of the things he said was "I grew up on a farm, and I learned all I needed to know about sex by watching the animals."

Fruitloop800

"Abstinence only" is destructive and unscientific.

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My middle school teacher told the class that condoms were not effective at all for protecting against STDs and only worked 50% in stoping pregnancies, and that anyone who told you otherwise was a diseased pervert trying to trick you into sex. Abstinence teaching, ladies and gentlemen.

LilBuddyRem

This can't possibly be true.

"If you both keep your virginity until your wedding night, you will have an amazing sex life forever."

False.

Deuce_is_Dead

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If you've ever worked with kids you know that their honesty and lack of filter can sometimes make them cringeworthy - and pretty hilarious.

If you haven't (or you don't have a thick skin) then you might not be able to appreciate just how funny kids can actually be. For those who can, this article should be a blast.

Reddit user moosepajamas asked:

Teachers of Reddit, what is the funniest thing you've ever heard a student say?

The answers could sometimes be insulting, sometimes silly, and sometimes downright baffling - just like kids themselves!


September 31

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One time I was asking students their birthdays. One boy told me that his birthday was September 31st. I tried to explain that this was not possible, but he insisted. Later, I looked it up. I then informed him that his birthday was November 17th.

He looked at me kind of confused and said "ohhhh." Then his face brightened and he said, "Well, last year I KNOW it was September 31st!"

- RedditStateOfMind

Jesus

I teach elementary band. One time we were preparing for a challenging playing test and a student said: "Man, I need to practice."

Without missing a beat the kid next to him says "My mom says I need Jesus."

- moosepajamas

Shown Up By A 5th Grader

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Was tutoring after-school a couple years ago. A kid asked "What time is it?"

I joked "Time for you to get a watch."

He responded "Time for you to get a new joke" without a moment's hesitation.

I had to laugh at getting shown up by a 5th grader. Two reading levels behind but witty as hell.

- Garlic_And_Sapphires

Jogathon

I had a student who was a newcomer (just moved to the US, almost no English) from Latvia. This kid is very bright and was one of my favorite 6th graders ever. We were having our annual jogathon, which is linguistically and culturally not translatable from Latvian.

Student: "So I pay you and you make me run?"

Me: "Yeah, that's actually how it goes."

Student: "This is simple. I don't pay you, you don't make me run."

Me: "uhhhh...."

- estrogyn

Rosa

Middle school field trip to a different state. One of the chaperones (a large black woman) wanted to get in a little nap in the back seat of the bus, so she made one of the students move to a seat in the front that was far from his friends. He got in the seat and started sulking. He was normally a pretty lively kid, so I leaned forward and asked what happened.

To which he replied: "I think I just got reverse Rosa Parks-ed!"

- almost_queen

The Moon

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I teach sophomores. One day, this girl was sitting at her desk, looking very concerned, and obviously wanted to ask me something. Finally, she blurted out, "Did anybody else see the moon in the sky during lunch? It's supposed to be out at night, something is wrong!"

- cubfanbybirth

Physically

Teacher to student: "Were you in class yesterday?"

Student, sounding more lost than anything and probably answering too honestly: "Physically... ?"

It wasn't so much an attempt at humor as just the summation of how we all felt in that class, one of those "it's funny because it's too true" things... we all were showing up, we were all sitting in the class physically... but being there? That was another question...

- Allisade

The Ladies

First grade. 6 yr. old lil dude about 3 ft. tall and 80 lbs. walks in late from recess.

Me - "Why are you late?"

Kid - grabs his hunk of belly with both hands like a ball of cream cheese and says "The ladies love this!"

Sits down like nothing happen with no smile.

- BoBoShaws

Synchronized

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He asked me "If a synchronized swimmer starts drowning, do they all start drowning?"

I lost it in class.

- bunsenbernerr

It's A Miracle

I teach high school, and one of my sophomores referred to merry-go-rounds as "miracle rounds". He legit thought that's what they were called 😂😂 I corrected him and he refused to believe me lol.

- royalredhead

The Pizza Guy

I was sharing information about math in art to my students (they're about 13 years old) and mentioned Leonardo da Vinci. A student said: "The pizza guy?"

I was confused, but later she said, "See! The pizza party!"

We were looking at The Last Supper.

- catpflug

Astronomy

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"I thought Astronomy would be easy because I know all about it but he hasn't even brought up horoscopes yet and we're 6 weeks in."

- chrisrayn

Budget Cuts

I teach band. One day I'm working with the high school jazz band and we're going to start mapping out some basic compositions. I pass out blank sheet music for them to use, which is simply blank 5-line staves with no notes, no symbols, etc.

One kid gets his sheet music expecting it to be a new song we're going to work on, sees that it's blank, looks up and says "Wow, budget cuts must've hit us hard, huh?"

- SquirrelSanctuary

Life Choices

Math prof. I finished a proof and to check understanding, I asked "does everyone understand my choices?" One of my favorite students ever piped up and said "Are we talking about your proof or how you've chosen to live your life?"

- coldstainlessnail

Before

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Wore a Captain America shirt to school since the student council had a super hero day. A student said I looked like Captain America - before the super soldier injections.

- numero1uno

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