New Year's is a trap.
It's meant to be a grand, symbolic start to a new beginning—a huge celebration to "ring in the new," the setting of goals and resolutions to make the New Year the one where you finally stop eating pizza for every meal or whatever.
But in practice, it's an exercise in paying $4 million to drink grocery store champagne with a bunch of amateurs who haven't been to a bar in 13 years and completely blowing your new health or neatness or career development or whatever regime by Jan 3rd before "ringing back in the old" and returning to business as usual, feeling bereft and a failure.
Man New Year's can kick rocks.
But surely no one—absolutely no one—had a worse New Year than a certain man and woman celebrating on national television in the Netherlands.
Picture it: you're on the country's nationally televised New Year's program.
There's throngs of people, there's music, there's lights, camera and action!
The countdown begins and suddenly—here it is, 2019!
Per tradition, you go for the New Year's kiss with your nearest neighbor, and... well, this happens:
Then imagine that moment is viewed over 13,000,000 times!
Also, imagine you're that woman who's just trying to get through this idiotic New Year's thing your friend dragged you to and then you've got this goober going in for the kill despite putting out multiple signals to the contrary. Leaving the house is a nightmare.
What's incredible about this very short, seven-second clip is that if you watch the woman's face, it really has a full story arc with a beginning, middle and end.
Like dude tries it, woman gives him the benefit of the doubt thinking "Clearly this is a joke," then realizes "Oh no, you're really trying it aren't you?!" and then as he closes in she finally does the more polite version of Cher Horowitz's "Ugh, as if."
This combination of secondhand embarrassment and suspense is more terrifying than the entirety of Bird Box.
As you might guess, folks on the internet were just as mortified.
this is the most horrific seven seconds of footage I have ever seen posted on the internet. https://t.co/OTybfH6xMX— Alan White (@Alan White) 1546342916.0
Ahahah omg the cringe https://t.co/gxW76nPQ8r— Ana Correia (@Ana Correia) 1546365881.0
@ThatRexGuy @_Shxrdayy The awkwardness afterwards🤣😂🤣 https://t.co/wxFEv6j5aF— K🍁 (@K🍁) 1546364223.0
Damn rough start of 2019 for my guy https://t.co/yAtAmCZQeV— Corny Ugly Rome (@Corny Ugly Rome) 1546350463.0
@ThatRexGuy @shiglizzyy_ Damn... Throw the whole year away https://t.co/0iNG0sqpE0— Shoeboybob (@Shoeboybob) 1546415460.0
I'm in bed surrounded by cough drops and medicine but my NYE isn't as bad as this https://t.co/f4xJO2L44i— Andy Cortez (@Andy Cortez) 1546325777.0
It feels like iv just been shot in the chest, cringe levels are fucking soaring. https://t.co/uFgJDqQl3O— sulucO (@sulucO) 1546505015.0
Personally I hope everyone's 2019 starts off better than that woman's. https://t.co/q2Hv41utaN— Dr. Jordan Loveridge (@Dr. Jordan Loveridge) 1546361764.0
Although perhaps this story has a twist!
@ThatRexGuy Do we know how many years have they been married?— Thornton Melon (@Thornton Melon) 1546356203.0
Anyway, no word on what this dude's resolutions are, but seems like "Don't try it" is probably at the top of the list now!