People Share Their All-Time Favorite Polite Insults

Fingers Crossed for Karma

"I hope your day is as pleasant as you are." -- llcucf80

"Its a solid insult for working retail because odds are they figure out what you mean while they are in the car driving away." -- runawaytoaster

"This is a staple sentence as a server/bartender" -- SpicySoggypickle

Someone's Gotta Keep Things In Check

"I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong." -- Oniwaban9

"Definitely using this one" -- umasa001

"I'd agree thats a good insult, but then we'd both be wrong...No, it actually is a good one, I just wanted to use it on u xD" -- kegegeam

"DUH"

"As per my last email..." -- TipsyPeanuts

"I once got a very nasty email from our admin staff that one of my time sheets had not been sent in, and it needed to be sent in IMMEDIATELY or the world would end. So I forwarded the same email I had sent them last week that had everything attached" -- PM_UR_NUDES_LADIES

Never Good to Be Quaint

"Well aren't you precious? (soft, super-condescending smile here)" -- Unknown_system_error

"Aww bless your heart." -- billybobjimmyjoe

"This all the way." -- ChangetheGame20

"It's more like 'you poor idiot,' or 'it must be hard being that stupid'" -- _PM_ME_YOUR_SYNTAX

Casting Doubt

"When somebody compliments themselves, I'll ask 'Who told you that?'" -- msb41

"Brutal" -- Krissy_loo

"And if the stars align, they say 'My mom,' to which you can say, 'ah yes, she just wants you to be happy.'" -- im_dead_sirius

Hovering Nicely in the Bell Curve 

"It's nice that you're so ordinary." -- ReaverRogue

"You look like you'd be easy to draw." -- wesontap

"This made me chuckle! Love it." -- THE_Lena

Utter Neutrality

"'Yeah, that's an idea' if I can't genuinely say it's a good idea." -- KiloRomeo0588

"'That's a... unique idea' is my go to" -- Sethrial

Odorless, Tasteless, Featureless

"If you were a spice, you would be flour." -- ItsYourBoyReckster

"That wasn't polite, that was f***ing heartless. Ouch, I wanna try it out." -- 2HrsOnTheName

All About Tone

"'good for you' said in the right condescending tone." -- immajustgooglethat

"Want a cookie works well" -- AMouse82

"'If you say so' is - I believe - the English equivalent." -- christianunionist

Take a Load Off

"'He was never overburdened by intelligence.'" -- DrumlineFreak

"Cant remember who but someone said about George bush 'he was a humble man with much to be humble about'" -- woosterthunkit

Poorly Adjusted

"Who ties your shoelaces for you?"

"What colour is the sky in your world?"

"Do you have someone who looks after you?"

-- Rufus_Everard

Keeping it Neutral 

"'Look at that face'"

"My ex-husband (we were married at the time) had friends who had a baby right after ours was born. I went to visit and commiserate about newborns with the wife."

"She brought out the baby and...well all I could say was 'look at that face' because while I find babies weird looking (even my own) as newborns, this one was...well...idk I feel bad saying it but fugly"

-- TitusLemonades

Nudging Them to Awareness

"'Oh, you're welcome!'"

"(Me pretending like I heard them say 'thank you' when they're just ungrateful.)"

-- thunder_spears

Unsolicited Support

"I don't care what they say about you, you're ok" -- vhfdthcfjvff

"This one's pure evil, and it's why I love it so much." -- addictivemischief

Just Posh Enough to Throw Off the Scent

"'One hardly speaks of such things'"

"My standard response to anyone who asks a question about something that is none of their damn business."

-- kalee28

BUB

"Calling someone 'bud'" -- bigaus25

"This or 'bub' 'Hey I got some issues for you to deal with today bub. You and and young bucks out there should be able to handle it bub!'" -- FupaSmacker

"i feel like when dads do it its more... reassuring..? idk just dads give off a certain energy." -- Longjumping_Diamond5