Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Divulge The Absolute Worst Excuses Their Ex Ever Gave For Cheating On Them

Couple sitting down talking
two person sitting on wood slab

It's never a good feeling to learn that your partner has been unfaithful.

Hearing this news almost instantly gets your mind racing, wondering what it was which led them to do this.

"Was I not present enough?"

"Have I let myself go?"

"Do they not love me anymore?"

If there's anything that could make you feel any worse than this sad list of possibilities, it's whenever they try to justify their behavior.

Often coming up with the most ludicrous excuses for breaking their partner's hearts, which they somehow thought might actually work or at least earn them a little sympathy.

When the only thing they likely got was an open door and a swift goodbye.


Redditor Starboy3210 was curious to hear some of the most ludicrous excuses people had to justify their infidelity, leading them to ask:
"People of Reddit, what is the dumbest reason your (ex) partner gave for cheating?"

So Much For "Till Death do Us Part".

"'You are dying! Do you really want me alone when you are dead?'"

"I was fighting cancer."

"He also told me that I was disgusting and he felt gross touching me."

"Luckily, both types of cancer are out of my life."- Mr_BigDuck

You Could Have At Least Left A Message!

"'You didn't answer your phone, was I supposed to spend Saturday night alone?'"

"I was at work, and so were you, we worked together you f*cking moron."- sixesand7s

Love At First Sight... Or Not

"She met someone that she immediately saw herself marrying."

"A month after we broke up she moved across the country, got married, called me to tell me she made a mistake, got divorced, moved back home, got pregnant and then got married again."- Zarrush

Gonna Have To Do Better Than That...

"Her response once I caught her was that she was flat-out horny."

"But after I said that’s why you have a boyfriend it was kinda funny how she went dead silent."- PuzzleheadedFarm7417

Um...

"He said that he cheated on me because I wanted to have too much sex."

"More than 5 years later I still can't find any logic in that."- Etrixie

So Much For Commitment

"'It's not like we're married'."

"Apparently I can't expect respect from someone who goes from calling me 'love of my life' to blowing her high school shag toy when he comes back to town."- FortGeek

Cartoons Button GIF by Nickelodeon Giphy

It Never Is...

“'It’s not what you think it is!'”

"After I walked in on them making out."

"While she was on his lap."

"Both without shirts."- MrSirChris

Two Whole Weeks...

"I couldn't have sex for two weeks so I could recover from surgery so she thought it wasn't cheating'."- Henchforhire

What The Actual...

"My ex-girlfriend said I forgot you were alive."

"For details, I wasn't in the military, I was at university."- Ali8ly

scared star wars GIF by Hyper RPG Giphy

That Only Makes It Worse

"It was his kid's mom so it didn't count."- kittenxx96

"In Sickness And In Health"...Oops!

“'I have needs for sex you aren’t helping me with!'"

"Said to me the day I get home from spending a week in the hospital with kidney failure (lupus)."- EndlesslyUnfinished

We Can Only "Open" Our Hearts So Much...

"Well, I know this guy that was convinced he was in an open relationship, except he forgot to let his girlfriend know.."

"She found out 7 years into the 'open relationship'."

"With multiple women, in 4 continents."

"Oh he also had a book where he'd categorize them."- ProfessionalSpite866

Episode 2 Player GIF by ABC Network Giphy

Santa? SANTA?!?!

"My serial cheater ex-once told me while in a fit of tears."

"'I can't stop cheating, I just have so many issues, my mom lied about Santa when I was a kid and it really f*cked me up'."

"'I don't think I can trust people because of it so I cheat'."- pastelflorist

No One Likes To Be Treated Like A Piece Of Meat...

“It’s like if you order the same subway sandwich for a year, eventually you’re gonna get bored of it."

"But you try another flavor and when you go back to the original one it’s better than you remembered'.”

"Felt not so good being compared to a 6 inch BLT tbh."- NucularOrchid

Oh, nothing, except commitment and fidelity...

"'She was prettier than you, what did you expect?'"

"We were engaged and had been dating for 3 years."- kathjoy

No doubt all these poor people are grateful for dodging the bullet that staying with these people would have been.

Even if it can't quite make up for the pain and embarrassment these experiences brought them.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Screenshot of Erika Kirk and Caleb Chilcutt
Turning Point USA

Erika Kirk Has Ultimate Freudian Slip While Honoring Student With 'Charlie Kirk Courage Award'

Erika Kirk was mocked online after she had an epic Freudian slip while honoring Utah Valley University student Caleb Chilcutt with the Charlie Kirk Courage Award at Turning Point USA's AmericaFest over the weekend and misspoke while comparing Chilcutt to her late husband, far-right activist Charlie Kirk.

The late Kirk, who was assassinated at UVU in September, was a virulent white supremacist who aligned with the Christian right and advocated for Christian nationalism, promoting a nativist, fundamentalist Christian view of society. All the while, he openly attacked LGBTQ+ rights, backed the white genocide conspiracy theory, and was a major figure in the MAGA movement.

Keep Reading Show less
Elon Musk; Sydney Sweeney
ALLISON ROBBERT/AFP via Getty Images; Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images for Lionsgate

Elon Musk Slammed After He Makes Gross And Juvenile Comment About Sydney Sweeney's Body

Why can't he just continue to fail to make rockets and self-driving electric cars?

Instead, tech billionaire Elon Musk has recently drawn criticism after posting remarks about actress Sydney Sweeney’s appearance following the Los Angeles premiere of The Housemaid. The controversy centers on Musk’s comments about Sweeney’s dress, comments that were seen by many online as focusing on her physical attributes rather than her work.

Keep Reading Show less
Sam Altman speaking into a microphone with an American Flag in the background.
Andrew Harnik / Staff/Getty Images

OpenAI CEO Sam Altman Just Shared An AI Image Of Himself As A Ripped Firefighter—And Was Promptly Roasted

To say that the rise of artificial intelligence, or AI for short, is a contentious issue would be a gross understatement.

In addition to the growing concern that AI will create job scarcity in almost every profession, recent studies have shown AI continues to leave a devastating carbon footprint. Its water usage alone surpassed the entirety of bottled water worldwide.

Keep Reading Show less
Screenshot of Thomas Massie; Pam Bondi
CBS; Win McNamee/Getty Images

GOP Rep. Thomas Massie Threatens To Impeach Pam Bondi Over Heavily-Redacted Epstein Files

Kentucky Republican Representative Thomas Massie announced that he's launched an impeachment investigation into Attorney General Pam Bondi following the release of several heavily-redacted files related to the late financier, pedophile, and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein.

Massie and California Democratic Representative Ro Khanna, sponsors of the Epstein Files Transparency Act signed by President Donald Trump on November 19, say the Justice Department has failed to comply with the law by missing the December 19 release deadline and providing documents that are heavily redacted and incomplete.

Keep Reading Show less
Jack Black and Paul Rudd discussing Elle Fanning's comments
@efanningmedia/X

Jack Black's Reaction To Elle Fanning Calling Him 'Sex On Legs' Is Hilariously On Brand

Crush alert! Turns out Elle Fanning has kinda got it bad for none other than Jack Black. Hey, everyone is someone's type!

It all began when Fanning took part in Vanity Fair's popular lie detector test video series, during which Fanning was forced to confess her undying attraction to Black.

Keep Reading Show less