People Confess The Stupidest Ways They Landed Themselves In The Hospital

Cat Karma

"I turned around on the stairs to call my cat fat and badly sprained my ankle."

"I thought I had broken it because there was an audible crunch and I felt something pushing up inside my foot (x-rays didn’t show a break)."

"The doctor told me, 'Serves you right,' when I told him what happened."

- Blizard896

What Are the Odds?

"I fell into the only prickly pear cactus in a 100-mile radius."

"I went to the ER because I was having a reaction to it. They used duct tape mostly and tweezed the rest. The pricks were super, super fine and hairlike, though, and I was finding some still in my skin weeks later."

- throwaway_298482

Surprisingly Troubling

"I had trapped gas."

"After an ultrasound, the nurse came in and explained it to me, and shortly after, I stood up to get dressed and leave."

"The nurse was helping me as I was still in pain, and I let out the longest, most explosive-sounding fart I've ever farted."

"It was such instant relief and such innocent giggles from me and the nurse."

- endieloverhd

Medically Unimpressive

"I did a flip off of a table to impress some girls."

- bearded_charmander

"I'm sure they all visited in the hospital?"

- pro_No

"No. Dark times."

- beardedd_charmander

Spoiled Food

"When I was in college, I had my mom's home-cooked meal that I accidentally left out overnight. I tried to eat it anyway."

"24 hours of it coming out of both ends and one ER visit later, I realized that I had learned a valuable lesson."

- Low_Departure_5853

Undercooked Chicken

"I gave myself food poisoning by undercooking chicken."

"I woke up in the middle of the night around 2:00 AM and started going to the bathroom, relieving myself from the bottom and emptying from the top. I kept puking till I’ll couldn’t even keep water down. I thought I was gonna go into shock and die. (I lived alone during this time in my own place.)"

"At 7:00 AM, I called my Mom, no answer. I called my Uncle, no answer. I called my Dad, no answer."

"I called my Grandma. She answered half-asleep, 'Hello? OP?'"

"I said, 'Please help, I think I’m going to die.'"

"She picked me up and got me to the ER."

I said, 'I can’t move, please, I need a wheelchair.' They wheeled me in. I sat in the lobby for 30 minutes for health insurance purposes."

"They got me into a room. 'Bag,' I said, 'I need a bag.' I emptied more of myself out violently."

"My Dad got there around that time."

"The rest of the day was me getting hooked up to an IV, being CAT scanned to see what the problem was, being released, and then taken home to sleep and get hydrated for the next two days."

"I learned that it’s better to burn your food than to undercook it."

"Man, is it fun learning how to cook in your 20s."

- Major_KingKong

Unexpected Allergies

"I got stuck in the ankle by a porcupine quill, and I found out I'm allergic to porcupines!!! My eyes swelled shut, kind of scary."

"Then, on crutches, I couldn't wear contacts for a week, so I couldn't really see, I tripped and fell down the stairs after class at college, hurt my arm/wrist. They were sprained, and I had to wear a brace."

"The worst week. And I have since had to list porcupines under my list of allergies."

- Apprehensive_West814

Individualistic Food Allergies

"My friend got over his seafood allergy and had a bowl of shrimp. I thought I’d do the same and eat some pistachios."

- Panal_Lleno

In Need of Glasses

"I got hit by a truck in the seventh grade because I didn't have my glasses."

"I didn't have my glasses because I'd lost them in a car accident the day prior."

"The hospital I was taken to recognized me from the car accident and called my mother."

- Faultierghost

Slapstick Comedy in the Making

"I threw a tennis ball in the air and attempted to catch it, but I ended up slipping on wet grass and broke my arm."

- FrancoVFX

Motorcycle Smarts

"Day one: got my motorcycle license."

"Day two: was speeding and took a turn way too fast; snapped collar bone like a twig among other scrapes. Luckily it didn't turn out worse. Got sent to ER."

"Day three to 183: spent time laying in bed while the bone healed."

"Day 184: out there again with proper gear and obeying the speed limit. Still have close calls here and there."

- xydenkonos

A Feline Assistant

"Apparently when I was younger, I guess around five or six, I dumped a container of detergent in my eyes. I don't remember it at all but my Mom brings it up every now and then."

"Apparantly my cat knocked it off the washer into my reach."

- No-Efficiency3406

In Need of Those Cookies

"I ran into the ouch part of a rocking chair when I was four years old, because my mom came home from grocery shopping and told me there were cookies."

"I got excited, tripped, and busted one of my eyebrows up good enough to need some stitches."

- kannakantplay

The Glass Door Phenomenon

"I walked through a glass door I left open and my dad closed. Of course, it was a Sunday and no doctor was avaible except at the hospital."

- SirLunchALot1993

Wrong Directions

"I had a typo on Google Maps."

- arghimapiratebooty

"OH, you accidentally drove to the hospital."

- ZobiBakughou

From truly silly to absolute disasters, these are a great reminder of how serious a little mistake can get.