People are more conscious of body shaming, but reality is still reality. If a garment is designed and sewn in a size 4, it won't fit someone who is a size 24.
A Redditor found themselves at odds with their family after pointing out reality, so they turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Redditor intinttin asked:
"AITA for telling my stepsister that she can't model my clothing because because she's obese?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I'm currently in a design class in college and for one of our projects, we had to create a clothing line made out of sustainable materials. Since I love sewing and thrift-flipping, I was super excited about this."
"I made all the clothes based off of my own size so there isn't a lot of size variation."
"Last week, I asked two of my friends who are close to my size if they could model and I think my stepsister may have overheard because later that day, she asked me if she could model too."
"I wasn't expecting this question so I stumbled and initially told her that I'd already enough models. She didn't take this as an answer and asked if I could just let her wear one piece since she loved how they all looked."
"Recently, she's been really into modeling and photography so I get why she was so adamant. I insisted I had enough models and that I couldn't let her, which really upset her."
"She ended up going to her dad crying about it and he brought the three of us together for 'conflict resolvement time'. He was on her side and asked if I could just let her do one piece.
"I was getting pissed at this point, but I continued to say no because I know her weight is a sensitive issue for her and her dad. He called me selfish and my stepsister nodded in agreement."
"This was my breaking point."
"I said, 'I've been saying no this whole time because I did not want to hurt her feelings. You guys wanna know the real reason?'"
"'I don't think she'll be able to fit into any of the clothes I created. She's obese and I designed the clothes to fit my body type. I'm sorry'."
"Well, cue the waterworks. Her father just shook his head at me in disappointment and said I didn't need to 'stoop that low'."
"All of us are now pissed off. AITA?"
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed the OP was not the a**hole in this situation.
"NTA at all. You said no and she wouldn't let it go, that's on her. She needs to learn that 'No' is a full answer and how to accept that."
"You were backed into a corner and had to tell her the truth, it was incredibly unfair of them to do that to you. Also, pointing out someone is overweight and won't fit into your clothes is not fat-shaming, it's just stating a fact."
"As an overweight person I understand that not all clothes will look good on my body due to proportions and fit, that's just how it is. I really hope they don't make life too difficult for you over the next wee while." ~ ceilidh1990
"NTA. Her running to her dad crying so they can gang up on OP is not normal behavior either. Sounds like manipulation to me." ~ Gilgameshbrah
"The stepsister is not used to hearing no from someone else, which is why she went to the 'yes'-machine of Dad." ~ LaughingTrees
"NTA. Your stepsister asked, you said 'no,' as is your right since they're your clothes for your project."
"That should have been the end of it. If your stepsister was unwilling to accept being told 'no,' why did she even ask?"
"She should have saved everyone's time and demanded a modeling spot, since that's what the repeated requests and involving her father amounted to."
"I'd point out to anyone criticizing you that she didn't ask you, she demanded you accommodate her by refusing to accept 'no' for an answer." ~ LakotaGrl
"People need to get used to the fact that 'No' is a complete sentence and an acceptable answer. Respect the 'no' and call it a day. NTA." ~ Bacon_strips_and_
"No explanation was required. A polite one was offered repeatedly."
"It was not accepted. A conflict resolu... erm, manipulation session ensued."
"This is a toxic relationship with two manipulative people who have boundary issues."
"That's the crux of the issue here. Not weight." ~ IPetdogs4U
"And why does stepdad think he has any say in what OP does for a college project??"
"Why did he think he needed to mediate this situation when OP is (presumably) an adult doing homework? Come on!!" ~ kokopelliieyes
"OP's stepfather's 'conflict resolution' is just a vehicle to get his little princess what she wants." ~ DimiBlue
"This 'conflict resolution' sounds more like a guilt trip if you ask me." ~ tootiredtodealwithit
"Sounds even more like: my little girl wants it and don't you dare to tell her no!" ~ Morrigan-71
"If OP was making a clothing line, then they would be the AH for not making clothes in different sizes. But this is for a project."
"They did not have to accommodate for other sizes for a project. And they get to choose their models."
"Stepsis shouldn't have tried to force OP. NTA." ~ bore_adichathu_athan
"NTA. Blurting it out and being blunt about it is obviously a bit harsh but it is warranted in the situation."
"She couldn't take no for an answer even after being given a perfectly valid reason other than her size. Her bringing anyone into it and then layering that with painting you as a 'bad guy' for saying no is just straight up childish, even if she's only 15 and still learning how the world works."
"She needs to understand she can't always get her way and she needs to respect others' decisions even if you hadn't already given her a perfectly valid reason." ~ Hot_Knee95
If the stepsister stopped after being told 'no,' her feelings would have been spared.
If you ask someone a question, be prepared for getting an answer you don't like. And if you push the issue, be prepared for an answer you like even less.