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The Internet Is Breathing A Sigh Of Relief At The Sight Of A 'Sensible-Looking Lesbian' At The CDC Taking Charge Of The Coronavirus Response


We're not going to lie to you fine folks. Things are scary right now.

We are in the midst of a pandemic, Trump slashed and continues to slash the funding for the CDC, the NSC and DHS epidemic teams were all but eliminated by the administration, Pence—who doesn't believe in science—is in charge of responding to the COVID-19 pandemic, the death toll is rising and even Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson tested positive.

It's not all doom and gloom, though.

One Twitter user has found a shining beacon of hope in these dark times and her name is Jen. She works at the CDC, wears a lanyard and has one of those faces you just know you can trust.

Also, her last name is Bornemann. J. Bornemann.

J could just as easily stand for Jason, ya know. And Bornemann? Totally Bourne.

So we're not saying Jen Bornemann was the inspiration for Jason Bourne, but we're not not saying that. It would make us feel better to know she was out there judo-chopping coronavirus into submission, though.

We don't know you, Jen, but we're all counting on you and your lanyard to save the day.

Twitter is here for Jen and the no-nonsense fact-based approach we just know she will take on this.

The thread eventually made its way back to Jen, who chimed in to let us all know she's here for us.

And also to wash our hands.

The outpouring of love for Jen and all lesbians with lanyards was so real.

Lesbians with lanyards might just save us all, folks. We believe in you, Jen!

Now please excuse us while we take a break to wash our hands, as Commander Bourneman recommended.