Listen people, we all love Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, but it's a work of fiction and jumping into a chocolate tank at an actual chocolate factory is dangerous.
Unfortunately this advice is too late for two people who somehow found themselves in a chocolate tank at a Pennsylvania M&M factory and had to be rescued due to the depth of said chocolate.
We can confirm neither was named Augustus Gloop.
Rather, the pair were employees performing maintenance tasks at the factory located in Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania when they apparently fell in and had to be extracted by emergency services.
And you thought your job was a pain.
See two CNN anchors barely manage to stifle their giggles about this bizarre story below.
\u201cTwo people have reportedly been rescued after being trapped in a chocolate tank at a Mars M&M factory in Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania.\u201d— The Recount (@The Recount) 1654805876
It's still unknown just exactly how the two workers, who were contractors employed by industrial cleaning company I.K. Stoltzfus Service, ended up in the chocolate vat.
But the chocolate was apparently thick and deep enough--waist-high, according to reports--that a rescue operation was necessary.
You'd suppose emergency services showed up with, say, a ladder, or a rope and pulled them out, right? Wrong. As communications supervisor for Lancaster County, Pennsylvania's 911 system Brad Wolfe told CNN:
"Fire crews have eliminated pulling them straight out of a tank. They have to cut a hole in the side of the tank to get them out."
Neither employee was hurt while entering the chocolate tank, however it happened. But both were transported to the hospital after their rescue, one of them by helicopter. Their condition and injuries, if any, are unknown.
In a statement, Mars Wrigley, M&Ms' parent company, was cryptic about the outcome of the incident.
"We can confirm both external contractors have been taken offsite for further evaluation."
"We’re extremely grateful for the quick work of the first responders."
But the incident has sparked an investigation by OSHA, the federal government's agency that oversees workplace safety, suggesting their may be more to this story.
Of course, Twitter couldn't help but guffaw at the Wonka-esque absurdity of it all, and the jokes came in like a wave of chocolate from an M&M factory tank.
\u201cAugustus Gloop seeing on TV 2 people had been trapped in a vat of chocolate at a Mars M&M factory in Elizabethtown Pennsylvania\u201d— JSWilliams1962 (@JSWilliams1962) 1654812870
\u201cWe have identified one of the victims trapped in the chocolate tank at the M&M\u2019s Mars factory as one Augustus Gloop. \n\nHis last words before falling in were, \u201cLet me in, I\u2019m starving.\u201d\u201d— Danny Deraney (@Danny Deraney) 1654812213
\u201c@therecount Live image just in....\u201d— The Recount (@The Recount) 1654805876
\u201c@therecount It hurts to see others living your dream\u201d— The Recount (@The Recount) 1654805876
\u201c@nowthisnews Oompa loompa oompadee brown\nThey won't ever be living this down\u201d— NowThis (@NowThis) 1654812235
\u201c@LePapillonBlu2 Up to their nuts in chocolate..now you know where peanut m&ms come from..\u201d— \u15f0\u15e9\u01b3\u1587\u15e9 \u2119\ud835\udd59\ud835\udd60\ud835\udd65\ud835\udd60\ud835\udd58\ud835\udd63\ud835\udd52\ud835\udd61\ud835\udd59\ud835\udd6a *\u2606 \uff61\uff65:*:\uff65\uff9f\u2605,\uff61\uff65:*:\uff65\uff9f\u2606 (@\u15f0\u15e9\u01b3\u1587\u15e9 \u2119\ud835\udd59\ud835\udd60\ud835\udd65\ud835\udd60\ud835\udd58\ud835\udd63\ud835\udd52\ud835\udd61\ud835\udd59\ud835\udd6a *\u2606 \uff61\uff65:*:\uff65\uff9f\u2605,\uff61\uff65:*:\uff65\uff9f\u2606) 1654805018
\u201cLife has really got to stop imitating art: https://t.co/KjWndBZz4l\u201d— Lady with an opinion \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6 (@Lady with an opinion \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6) 1654811749
\u201c"Police would like to speak to this man in relation to the incident".\u201d— It's Pronounced Gilleese (@It's Pronounced Gilleese) 1654851244
\u201cWell this is rich. I\u2019ll show myself out\u2026\u201d— Rex Chapman\ud83c\udfc7\ud83c\udffc (@Rex Chapman\ud83c\udfc7\ud83c\udffc) 1654811722
\u201cWilly Wonka head ass\u201d— Big Steppar (@Big Steppar) 1654902237
Consider this your warning to prepare yourselves for the forthcoming M&Ms shortage and amass your stockpile now.
