When I was a kid, the movie Planet of the Apes terrified me. The image of the ape people in the movie was ingrained in me because I thought they were coming to get me.
Why did I feel so threatened, you ask?
It's because whenever I misbehaved – I was a handful up until I was around eight-years-old – my mother would call for the "mountain people" to take me back because the mountain was where my parents found me as an infant.
My mom used to fake dial, and I had until the seventh digit for me to apologize for my bad behavior.
So when I saw the movie, I thought the apes were the "mountain people." Scary.
Curious about what strangers believed when they were younger, Redditor MamaHotWheels asked:
"What's the most delusional belief you held as a child?"
Where You Live
As kids, these Redditors believed the location of their residence corresponded to their street or district zones, or the weather was specific to where they lived.
State Of Address
"We moved to a town when I was five that had a neighborhood with streets named after states. We had moved from out of state and ended up living on the street with the name of the state we'd moved from. I assumed anyone who moved from out of state had to live on the street corresponding to the state they came from."
Dialing It In
"Similar to this, my first experience as a kid with using a phone where you had to dial 9 for an outside line was at school. Our school District was District 9, so I just assumed that's why we had to dial 9 to use the phone. Also, lived in a town where our zip code was 97503, and at the time our area code was 503 on our phone number, so of course I assumed that everyone's must match like that. A lot of weird coincidences that my child brain just took as fact."
Rainy Regions
"That if it was raining at my house, it must be raining on the entire world."
"I thought it was only raining in our town, just our town, then my brothers told me it rained other places at the same time, and I went to the other extreme, thinking the same as you did."
Are You What You Eat?
These Redditors had earlier misconceptions about the foods we eat – including a common fear that swallowing seeds would result in unspeakable horrors.
It's Hard To Stomach
"If you accidentally swallowed a watermelon seed you would grow one in your belly."
"And if you swallowed your gum your stomach would stick to itself."
– Aelaer
'Tis The Wrong Seasons
"That salt and pepper cancel each other out. Too much salt? Add some pepper to the dish. Same if you did too much pepper - just add salt!"
"I ruined many family dinners."
The Caffeine Effect
"my dad would always drink coffee before going to bed, so I thought coffee was like hot chocolate for adults. I only clicked that coffee is supposed to give you energy and should not be taken before bed when I was over 20ish. Turns out caffeine does not affect my dad. I still forget sometimes and take coffee before bed and then regret it as I wait out the insomnia."
– MMXXfan
When In Rum
"That a rum and coke was a 'roman coke.' Mom just said it fast. Figured the ancients just liked their coke that way."
Myths And Mysterious Circumstances
We all believed in Father Christmas and the Easter Bunny, but did anyone believe in warlocks and witches, live-action superheroes, and unsettling phenomena?
These Redditors will tell you all about it.
The Coven Is Comin'
"If I didn't sleep with my whole body covered by my blanket, witches would come in through my window at night and kidnap me. As long as I was under the covers they couldn't find me. Tbh, I can't say it's delusional because I'm still here so it clearly didn't NOT work..."
Heroes
"Power Rangers were real because if they weren't, it would have been a cartoon."
Preparing To Go Missing
"I mentally prepared myself on how to survive in the bermuda triangle. Like it was going to be my number one problem in my life."
"A kid from North East Ohio..."
Having a childlike sense of wonder is endearing, but as we get older and wiser, all that innocence gradually fades away. And sometimes it's for the better.
But being jaded is not cute, and neither is believing in mountain people coming to take you away.
To this day, my mother has no recollection of her cruel and unusual punishment she tormented me with. Selective memory, perhaps?
Thanks, mom!
