Some years ago, I went to a Mexican restaurant on a date. We had a good time. Conversation flowed naturally. We went for ice cream afterward, which was even nicer, I'll have to admit. But then my date's stomach started to trouble him and we had to run to the nearest restroom. He was in there for quite a while.
"I knew I should not have had that Mexican food," he said regretfully, proceeding to apologize profusely.
Honestly? I didn't care. S*** happens. Literally.
People told us what to do and what not to do after Redditor Leviathan41911 asked the online community,
"What food should you never order on a first date?"
"Spent the rest of the night..."
"I went on a date with a girl to a little lakeside bar that was known for their pizza. We asked what the waiter suggested, and they said this Cajun-style pizza with chicken/pepperoni/shrimp/peppers/etc was really good, so we agreed to order it.
After the first 3 bites my date said she wasn't feeling well, and puked on the floor. I paid quickly and brought her to the car. She noticed that her whole body had broken out with hives, and she was feeling really sick. I brought her to the ER where she told me that she's allergic to shellfish, but she hadn't had it in a while and figured she'd be fine.
Spent the rest of the night taking care of her and eating leftover pizza while she apologized."
"I looked like..."
"Once I ordered spaghetti with squid ink on a date. I looked like Marilyn Manson."
This is probably the funniest image I've had in my brain in awhile. Well done.
"There is no graceful way..."
"Onion soup with the cheese melted on top. There is no graceful way to eat that with someone looking at you."
Screw looking graceful. It's delicious, have at it!
"The heat..."
"Anything involving hot peppers. That heat stays on your tongue for a while."
Kissing can be awkward... and add to the discomfort.
Do I know this from experience?
Maybe.
"It was like..."
"I once took a first date to a Scottish restaurant and ordered bone marrow as an appetizer, thinking it would be served with toast to spread it on as I'd seen on TV.
Nope.
Plastic straw I had to slurp it out of the bone through.
It was like a warm beef milkshake. I figured at that point the date couldn't get worse so I drank the bone goo.
Married my date a few years later and we still laugh about it."
You see, I love bone marrow. I wouldn't say no to that. That sounds incredible, messy food and all.
"Even if sex..."
"Anything actually filling. Even if sex isn't on the table the potential for stomach gas, uncomfortable movements, or hell just that distracting feeling of fullness can distract from making a good impression and getting to know someone.
I go for light, protein and veg and caffeine."
These Conspiracy Theories Are Easy to Debunk | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"Avoid messy food..."
"Avoid messy food in general and anything that is "difficult" to eat such as soups, ramen, etc unless you have a clear understanding that they are diehard fans."
"It is insulting..."
"Your date's food. Seriously, guys, it's not suave, or formal etiquette. It is insulting, and makes you look controlling. Even if the menu is in French, or you just know your date would love the scampi--let them order what they want!"
This is the answer. Don't do this. It's messed up. Have a friend who walked out on a date after the guy ordered for her and refused to take her own tastes into account.
"You'll fart..."
"Go to a cheese and wine tasting. You'll fart your way out of a possible relationship. Get fish, veggies... lighter stuff."
"Took a girl..."
"Took a girl to a party for a first date. We went to a Mexican restaurant first. Then I proceeded to buy a liter of Everclear.
Was not a good time."
Well, there are definitely lessons to be learned here. You don't want to stink up your date's bathroom, do you?
On the other hand... eat what you want. That's what I do. But then again, I'm not out there that much.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us in the comments below!
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
@RealAlexJones/X
