"You're Fired."
Two words no one ever wants to hear in their life (connotations to a certain reality star turned politician notwithstanding..)
Even if the reason is purely due to budget cuts or companies going out of business, learning that you are no longer employed will always leave you stressed and heartbroken.
If you're let go without cause, it might leave you feeling downright furious.
Sometimes, however, people can't help but laugh at the utterly ludicrous reasons they found themselves out of a job.
Redditor Sketch99 was eager to hear the most ludicrous reasons people were let go from their jobs, leading them to ask:
"What's the dumbest thing you've been fired for?"
When A Little Kindness DOESN'T Go A Long Way...
"Was supposed to send a rejection letter after a failed job interview to someone I knew but waited a few days so he could have a good weekend."- fuzzykat72
The Law Is The Law...
"I refused to lie under oath in a deposition."- blahbabooey
Seriously, Give Me A Break!
"Walmart."
"2009."
"I was on my cell phone."
"In the break room."
"On my lunch break."- wet_sloppy_footsteps
Homer Simpson Animation GIF by FOX TVGiphy
Just Plain Wrong
"I was 91 days away from qualifying for pension through my work, and was fired with 90 days severance so they wouldn't have to pay."- simsational84
Umm...
"Requesting to have my desk moved after the person who sat behind me shot me with a pellet gun."- Silly_Somewhere1791
Seriously, How Do People Like This Get Where They Get?
"I got fired once for having emergency gallbladder surgery."
"We had a phone deposition with HR and the Unemployment Judge."
"After they explained when I was fired, the Judge asked them why the didn't offer me FMLA."
"They said 'he didn't ask'."
"The Judge said, 'It's your job to offer him FMLA'."
"You're lucky he didn't sue you."
"Unemployment approved'."- IndyRoadie
Judge Tanya Acker GIF by Hot BenchGiphy
Someone Was Definitely Breaking The Law...
"A coworker saw me injecting myself in the stomach with insulin and fired me for injecting drugs while at work."- bigbiemusic
Buh-BYE!
"I took a coffee mug home from the office kitchen on a Friday."
"Got a call from HR on Saturday asking me to come in for an emergency meeting and was fired on the spot."
"Turns out I was seen by security walking out with company property, the 'coffee mug' from the office kitchen."
"Later I was able to prove it was my personal mug and was offered my job back, but I declined to return."- akoforever
Just The Beginning Of The End
"I got fired for reporting the daycare I worked at to the state for blatant violations and providing photo evidence."
"That facility got shut down shortly after."- coloradomama111
episode 8 dream GIFGiphy
Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder
"Growing a beard...as a cashier at a gas station!"- photonynikon
Guess You Don't Want To Go Where Everybody Knows Your Name
"I was working in electronics at Wal-Mart."
"There was an actual rule that you could not check out family member but the 'unspoken' rule was that if you knew someone well enough to know their first name you weren't allowed to check them through your line."
"I was working the day after Black Friday."
"I had a line going out the back of the department."
"I was the only damned cashier in electronics."
"A friend of my mother's was, apparently, in my line."
"I had already started scanning items when I looked up and realized it was someone I knew."
"She didn't even have any freaking electronics."
"I went ahead and checked her through."
"A co-worker reported to management that I had checked my MOTHER through my line."
"They were both overweight, same age, similar hair cuts, glasses."
"I understand the mistake as I hadn't been working there very long."
"Even when I explained to management who it actually was they said I should have stopped and called a manager to come cancel the transaction and walk her to the front of the store to be checked out by someone else."
"So because I checked someone I knew in passing through my line instead of waiting for a freaking manager during the Black SATURDAY rush and holding up my line for as much as 10-15 minutes, I got fired on the spot."- eaglesong3
So Much For Health And Safety
"Got fired for having pneumonia."- Hopeful_Staff7001
Which, It's Safe To Assume, Wasn't Paid...
"Not being available to work during my approved vacation."- tealpeace
Schitts Creek Comedy GIF by CBCGiphy
...WHAT?!?!?
"While working in the produce section of a grocery store in Iowa someone heard me talking about stocking cherries, which in their mind was STALKING CHERRIES (virgins) and the next thing I knew me and the produce manager were outside and he offered me a ride home because my parents were working."
"I walked home and randomly someone threw a McDonalds cheeseburger at me and hit me in the back of my leg."
" Weird day."- RyanTheCubsSTH
One Step Ahead Of You
"I got fired for quitting once."
"I worked in a shop that modified laptops."
"People wanted the latest ASUS laptops but with special thermal paste or a faster processor or whatever, so we'd swap parts out and do whatever the customer asked and then put it all back together."
"This was an... okay gig for me."
"It wasn't in my wheelhouse but it was different from the crap jobs I'd taken before and so I stuck with it for as long as I could."
"Until one day - there was a particularly tricky modification required of one laptop, tricky enough that 3 different people (including myself) ended up doing different things to the laptop."
"Typically if there was some kind of mod needed that only the owner was comfortable doing, they were the only one to handle the whole computer, so for three people to fuck with one lappy was weird."
"Somehow in the kerfuffle of passing the thing around the office, the i9 went missing."
"Instantly the blame falls entirely to me."
"I scour my workstation and tear everything apart."
"The chip isn't there."
"I try to point out that three f*cking people touched the thing, but the owner insisted they didn't lose it, and the other guy had been working there too long to make that kind of mistake."
"A couple of days go by, and a friend of mine who works there tells me the higher-ups think I stole the chip to resell it."
"They then tell me that the owner is 'actually a reasonable person' and if I just go in and talk about how three people including them handled the machine, likely they would just split the cost of the missing processor 3 ways and consider it done."
"When I go back in, I overhear the boss and the other employee that modded the laptop talking about how they don't tolerate this kind of incompetence and something has to be done, etc etc."
"I knock on the office door and ask to talk about the situation; even though the boss is already just sat around flapping gums about me, he 'doesn't have time right now'."
"I wait until lunch and go try his office again."
"He's again in his office, again just so happening to be discussing incompetence and theft in the office with the same employee who is nodding their head in agreement."
"The boss still doesn't have time to talk to me."
"When I leave for lunch I don't go back."
"I called my previous employer and asked for my job back."
"They're happy to have me."
"I stay home, confident in my decision."
"A couple hours later, I get a call from my secretly-ex-boss."
"They want to know why I'm late."
"I tell them I got my old job back and don't appreciate all this avoidance and accusation without even talking to me, just about me."
"They go 'you realize what you just did, right, you walked on a job'."
"'You're fired'."
"They said themselves!"
"You walked, so you're fired."
"Whatever, I say, I'll come get my last paycheck next Monday."
"I get my check without incident and resume my previous gig as a taxi driver."
"The cost of the processor was not deducted from my check."- StickOnReddit
Talk About A Bad Hair Day!
"My hair."
"I’m a white woman with very curly, big, blond, natural hair."
"I straightened it for the interview."
"First day of work I showed up with my natural hair."
"I understand that this can be considered a 'bait and switch' to some but please remember that straightening my hair every day is very damaging."
"The owner and lawyer I was working with instantly grimaced at my hair, and commented on it telling me to get it under control."
"The next day I put it in a bun and pinned it back."
"I showed up to work and she gave a look of disgust at my hair and told me it was fine."
"Then, the next morning, I was fired."
"I can only ascertain the reason."- Captn_Insanso
Hair Flirting GIFGiphy
As infuriating, stressful, and sad as these situations were, it's easy to say that all these people would have been better off not working at these places.
It also wouldn't be surprising if some of these former bosses now have criminal records...
@GregAbbott_TX/X
