Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Lesbian Couples Explain How They Decided Which Of Them Would Get Pregnant

Lesbian Couples Explain How They Decided Which Of Them Would Get Pregnant
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Choosing whether or not to have a child is one of the most difficult choices a couple can make. But it's an especially heavy decision for gay men and lesbians, because the process is never easy. They can either adopt or have a baby via surrogacy. But both choices can be prohibitively expensive. And for lesbians, there's always the question of which one of them wants to or even can get pregnant.

(Let's not forget that pregnancies can be very complex and that women should not be shamed for balking at the process, which can subject their bodies to all sorts of physiological and psychological changes.)

Women (and others!) shared their stories after Redditor DarkCommanderAJ asked the online community,

"Lesbian parents of Reddit: How did you decide who would get pregnant?"

"My wife and I..."

"My wife and I are good friends with a lesbian couple who had one carry the baby while they used the other's egg. Since one carried and the other is genetically the mother they each have a special attachment to the baby. I thought it was really neat."

righthanddan

That's awesome! So personal and beautiful.

"Usually..."

"I work with a lot of lesbian families. Usually, one might have a stronger desire to bear children so that is the one who does. Sometimes both do, so they may each bear a child. Sometimes it's about genetics and someone with a condition or predisposition may ask the other to bear any children. Sometimes none want to bear children so they adopt, foster, surrogate. It's usually just an honest conversation about who may want to give birth if anyone."

NumerousExplorer

"My friends..."

"My friends decided based on who had the best maternity leave package. Practical!"

missfoy

Sounds like they might live in the United States. Taking a wild guess...

"I asked her..."

"A good friend from college is married with a kid on the way. I asked her and she said it came down to genetics - my friend's wife is BRCA positive (the breast cancer gene), so they agreed my friend should be the biological mother to prevent their kid from having to worry about it."

Notmiefault

A practical decision and a completely understandable one. These considerations save time, money, and pain in the end.

"That's how they decided."

"My lesbian parents tell the story of how they were shopping one day and my birth mom broke down in tears at the sight of baby clothes. That's how they decided."

copfromhellll

People Who Made A Lot Of Money From Something Totally Random | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

That might do it. Those baby clothes are out to get you!

"Originally..."

"My wife carried both of our two children. Originally, the plan was to carry one each, and I started trying a year after she had our first child. I tried for 18 months and wasn't successful, and we really didn't want a big age gap between our kids, so she tried again - was pregnant on her second attempt.

Honestly, I'm a little disappointed, and a little regretful that we didn't try harder to figure out how to make it happen for me. That being said, we have two healthy, happy kids that I love more than anything, so I wouldn't change a thing.

We were also able to use the same donor for both kids, so they're fully biological siblings. We are also part of an online group of other families who used the donor, so we can share photos of the kids (and make sure no one brings a sibling home one day lol). There are almost 20 of them now, which is cool!"

charmedistheone

"I was a donor..."

"I was a donor for a coworker and her wife. They went based on who had the better insurance/benefits. Our job had s*** benefits and her wife was a teacher with state benefits and such."

Zarzak_TZ

"Easy solution for us."

"We haven't had a kid yet, but we plan to in around 5-7 years. My fiancee is having the baby because I am terrified of giving birth and she wants the experience. Easy solution for us."

Silverpie

"It was easy..."

"My partner (we are both females) went through IUI treatment today! How did we pick? It was easy, there was not a bone in my body that wanted to experience carrying a child. She is 34, I am 32. So, pretty simple decision for us personally."

luckycharms889

Pregnancy can be very scary for a lot of women––it's wonderful to know that couples are having these conversations while creating families of their own!

Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us in the comments below!

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Kim Kardashian
Ernesto Ruscio/GC Images

Kim Kardashian Roasted After Seemingly Awkward Photo Fail At Jeff Bezos' Wedding Goes Viral

Kim Kardashian may be the queen of the social media snap, but she's getting roasted online for her latest attempt at Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez's wedding in Venice.

From the elaborate trappings and guest list to the weeks of angry protests by Venetians furious that a Trump-funding technofascist and his celebrity sycophants were taking over their city for days on end, the wedding was nothing short of a spectacle.

Keep ReadingShow less
Abby Phillip; Donald Trump
Michael Loccisano/Getty Images; Hu Yousong/Xinhua via Getty Images

CNN's Abby Phillip Shares Classy Clapback After Trump Lashes Out At Her On Social Media

During the first term of MAGA Republican President Donald Trump, his relationship with the press was probably best described as volatile. He had his favorites—the ones that stroked his ego—and the ones he called "enemies of the people."

CNN has definitely been on Trump’s hit list for years.

Keep ReadingShow less
Brandon Gill; Zohran Mamdani
Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images; Noam Galai/Getty Images

MAGA Rep. Ripped For Racist Reaction To Mamdani Eating Rice With His Hands In Campaign Video

Texas Republican Representative Brandon Gill is facing harsh criticism after he told New York City mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani to "go back to the Third World" after Mamdani shared a video of himself eating rice and lentils with his hands and talking about how his upbringing in Uganda and South Africa shaped his understanding of the Palestinian struggle.

At one point during his meal, Mamdani, who was raised in an Indian family, said:

Keep ReadingShow less
Kristi Noem
U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement via Getty Images

Homeland Security Slammed After Sharing Bonkers AI Image To Promote 'Alligator Alcatraz'

The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) came under fire after it shared an AI-generated image of alligators wearing ICE hats to promote a proposed "Alligator Alcatraz" immigration detention center in the Florida Everglades, a decision that prompted critics to call out the post's fascistic and cruel nature.

The image shows the alligators in caps marked “ICE” beside a barbed-wire fence and was captioned simply:

Keep ReadingShow less
The feet of two people snuggling under the covers
woman in white dress lying on white bed

Couples Who've Been Together For 20+ Years Explain How They Keep Their Sex Life Active

With each passing year, all couples tend to worry that their relationship might change over time.

That they'll stop being as spontaneous, affectionate or energetic as they were when they first began their courtship.

Keep ReadingShow less