So it's not a surprise that, during a recent televised debate against his midterm election opponent Beto O'Rourke, Ted Cruz descended into an impenetrable silence when asked a personal, human-centered question on live television.
The query was simple: tell us something non-political about yourself that will give Texans an insight into who you are as a person. Easy!
For me, it'd be like, "The other night I cried actual tears at an episode of Real Housewives of New York while eating an entire plate of pizza rolls." That tells you everything you need to know about me, which is that I am emotionally unstable and unfit for office. Done and done!
Wasn't quite so cut-and-dry for ol' Ted...
Yikes. One can't help but wonder what possibly could have been going through his
circuits head that caused such a pregnant pause.
Luckily, The Late Show has posited a theory and, well... it's perfect!
On #LSSC tonight: Go inside Ted Cruz’s head during his debate with challenger Beto O’Rourke. There’s plenty of room. https://t.co/BoTRLOMqvJ— The Late Show (@The Late Show)1539824853.0
I mean, it checks out! It's not like someone could come open the panel in his back and hit ctrl-alt-del. It was live television! Mystery solved, as far as I'm concerned.
I kid, I kid! Of course Ted Cruz isn't a robot.
@colbertlateshow @margaritateresa He was traumatized as a child near the Dealy Plaza grassy knoll.— Pacho (@Pacho)1539860343.0
@AbogadoFg @colbertlateshow Which is when after he became the Zodiac Killer https://t.co/OiHlVVz3CO— margaritateresa 🗽🇨🇺🇺🇸 (@margaritateresa 🗽🇨🇺🇺🇸)1539874624.0
@colbertlateshow The reason Ted Cruz couldn’t answer that simple question about what he does in his life besides po… https://t.co/z8ORcR2nt8— Kenneth Samson (@Kenneth Samson)1539829682.0
Though he might also be a reptile--who's to say?
@colbertlateshow That's a tough question for a snake!— Truth and justice for ALL. (@Truth and justice for ALL.)1539867192.0
Robot, serial killer, reptile, or otherwise, internet folk were delighted by the opportunity to laugh at Cruz's expense:
#TexasDebate Moderator: “Give us some insight into who you are as a person.” Ted Cruz: https://t.co/0P8RfhNk6T— Jessica Moore (@Jessica Moore)1539742643.0
I just want to curl up and take a nap inside Ted Cruz’s five-second pause trying to think of a personal anecdote to share. #Texasdebate— Kevin Miller (@Kevin Miller)1539741315.0
I was surprised he didn’t go with the porn thing tbh. https://t.co/d5HWadoYkA— ✭Becca✭ (@✭Becca✭)1539838865.0
And came up with some theories of their own:
@HuffPost "How do I sound HUMAN?"— VOTING ISSUES ☎️ (866) 687-8683 (OUR-VOTE) (@VOTING ISSUES ☎️ (866) 687-8683 (OUR-VOTE))1539850541.0
@HuffPost He was molting.— Freitfart News (@Freitfart News)1539854938.0
@HuffPost “5 dollar. 5 dollar. 5 dollar footloooong”— AnnieJohanson225 (@AnnieJohanson225)1539850911.0
I've thought a lot about it and I think this last one just might be the answer. Now do robot reptiles eat Subway? THAT is the real question...