Sometimes the best way to keep a relationship is to keep quiet.
We all have little quirks and secrets that are ours alone.
And maybe it's best they stay that way.
Who is it gonna hurt?
Redditor SingleReporter wanted to hear what bits of information many us don't let on about to the nearest and dearest. They asked:
"What things should be kept private from your SO, no matter how healthy your relationship is?"
Not every detail and truth needs to be heard. Trust me, I speak from experience.
Favorites
Dog GIF by ViralHogGiphy"That you know you’re the Pet’s favorite person."
mostpeopleheresuck12
"Oof, I am absolutely both of our dogs favorite person. We both know it but I would never ever say that to my wife."
abrokenelevator
Weapons
"No matter how healthy a relationship is, there'll always come a time where you have resentful thoughts of your spouse. Those should be kept to yourself, as most of them pass quickly. The only time you should share them is if they're persisting in some behavior that is hurting you, and then it should be done calmly and not in the heat of the moment."
"For instance, if you got home from work tired to find your spouse binge watching a TV show, but the sink is full of dirty dishes, the impulse may be to lace into them. Don't. Go ahead and do the dishes, and tomorrow, when that initial flash of anger has passed, discuss the issue."
"People say arguments can be healthy in a relationship, but it all comes down to how you argue. Spouses, at least if they're good ones, know intimate details about you, your past, and how you think and feel. This gives them weapons to hurt you, and it may be tempting to use such weapons when angry. But if you know your spouse has a sore spot about their dad, and you say in anger 'this is why your dad never loved you,' you have permanently damaged your relationship."
"And that damage builds up over time. Successful relationships survive because people rein themselves in in that moment. Even when they're angry, they don't want to inflict wounds like that. So whenever the impulse arises to use those weapons in anger, resist the temptation! You may forget what you did quickly, but they won't."
Degs29
Be Honest
"If your relationship started under potentially offensive pretenses (e.g. they were madly in love w/ you but you they were just the your rebound)."
Yuo_cna_Raed_Tihs
"An old friend of mine's gf told him this. I was there when it happened, and I swear to God I saw his heart break. They were really good together and really liked each other, so he tried to keep going, but I watched it eat him from the inside out until he just couldn't take it anymore and broke up with her. There really are some things you just can't take back."
RavagerHughesy
The Clippers
"Where I hide the secret, spare pair of scissors I keep for when he's lost all the other 11 pairs of scissors we own and I need to trim a chip bag down to make getting to the chips easier."
lysanderish
"I had a pair of nail clippers stashed away because they were never where they were supposed to be. After my wife passed away I found 9 pairs! In her desk drawers, in purses she hadn’t used in years - 3 pair in with her makeup."
dirkalict
Strategy
Naval Battle Navy GIF by World of WarshipsGiphy"The location of your ships while playing Battleship."
MadlyHatting
If we are in competition... in my eyes... you are only a casualty.
No Touch
episode 9 search GIFGiphy"My dad has mentioned a few times that in their 40+ years of marriage, he’s never gone in her top dresser drawer or purse."
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmfarts
Weak Spots
"Sometimes, no matter how attractive your partner is to you and no matter how much you love them, there is an aspect to them that is unchangeable but that you find gross or annoying or just generally less than attractive. Clogged nose pores, a laugh that sounds like a muppet, big toe nails that just look a little bit weird, or that single long hair growing from inside their ear that just keeps coming back no matter what they do. If it’s going to make them feel insecure or unloved, this is something you should just keep to yourself."
"In a relationship, you learn each other’s weak points and vulnerabilities, and using them against your partner is a boundary that, once you cross it, you can’t come back from. Once you make someone feel like they can’t trust you with their vulnerable self, your relationship is on its way out."
baby_armadillo
"how did it go?"
"Your psychologist/therapy sessions. I had an ex that used to demand I tell him what I talked about in my sessions and it was super uncomfortable. With my current partner we are both in therapy and if it's a phone session the other goes in a different room. If we want to talk about something we told the psych or something we will tell our psych at the next appointment we do."
"But I would never ask and nor would he. We might ask 'how did it go?' To which the other may say 'it was good' or 'it was emotionally draining,' but that's as far as it should go. (These are personal sessions, not couples therapy, we're not in that)."
Tattsand
Go to Sleep...
"The unkind crap you think when you're angry and tired, it will absolutely never help at all to say any of it out loud and even if you don't have a particularly big fight or break up over it you'll still regret it and they'll still remember. Possibly also what you think about how hot other people are, depending on how jealous/insecure your SO is."
Amnesigenic
LOLzzz
sarcastic well done GIF by CBCGiphy"My steady supply of jokes. I set up my android to send me a joke every night at 5 pm and I tell it to my husband later on, before i jump in the shower. He always asks where I'm getting this stuff from and I just laugh and shut the bathroom door I would like him to continue thinking of me as this endless joke fairy for the rest of our lives :)."
welldressedpickles
See there... sometimes omission is the only lie.
