an Oh Myyy Property

Not everything that feels good to do in life is the best choice. Just because you can run fast enough to get away after you steal something, doesn't mean you should steal something. Just because you can physically be with your Ex intimately once more doesn't mean it's a good idea. (Trust me it's never a good idea) It's almost an intriguing obsession though, I get it. Tempting fate is a delicious idea. Most of the time though just go with your gut and hush up that little devil voice trying to get you to be indulgent in the worst possible decisions.


Redditor u/brie_cheese wanted everyone to own up and admit... Reddit, what's your "just because you can, doesn't mean you should" story? Thoughts?

Damn #2....

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I worked at a brain trauma rehab facility once and we had a residential client there that was pretty low functioning. He was wheelchair-bound - we had to strip him down, get him out of his chair and into bed (guy was big), hook him up to a condom catheter, and put him in a diaper every night.

So one night I get him in there, his diaper's lying underneath him and I'm about to put it on, and he looks at me all angry and sort of half-whispers "I have to take a poop. Bad." To do this would require unhooking him, transferring him to his wheelchair, rolling him into the bathroom, transferring him to the toilet, wait for him to poop, wipe him (his arm muscles were partially atrophied so he couldn't wipe himself), transfer him back to the chair, roll him back to his room, transfer him back into bed and hook him up. Enormous pain in the butt.

So I looked at the diaper underneath him and said "just go, man." So he gets that poo face, and I'll never know why, but I watched that enormous dry poop slide out of him like a ticket dispenser. I looked him in the eyes and said "I don't know why the hell I watched that," and he started belly laughing, which caused farting aftershocks that kind of jiggled the poop and threatened to roll it off the bed. I grabbed the diaper real quick, rolled it up while I re-diapered him and finished tucking him in, then disposed of the turd in the toilet (I could have used a poo stick - apparently it's common for wheelchair bound peoples' colons to get fairly large), and never talked about it again after than night. Laimbrane

Yumm....

I ate a whole package of raw cookie dough just because I was an adult and could. It was incredible, I did not feel well. magicalpussyjuice

Keep it clean...

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Farting as you leave an elevator or ascend an escalator.

PootieMagoo

I learned this the hard way. Was at a wedding that Garth Brooks was attending. I went to the rooftop of the hotel we were at then came back down to the reception. While in the elevator I let one go that even I didn't want to sit through. When the doors opened it was Garth and Trisha Yearwood leaving the reception. I know they smelt my insides for the 16 floor death ride.

billbogle

Bright idea! 

I licked a light-bulb, while it was on, and burned my tongue. hardatwork89

Take care...

Eating super unhealthy for extended periods- you will feel the pain after (even if it's months after, you need to take care of your body.) lavaflow666

I try to force myself to eat less. It has helped, and my appetite (and also weight) have both gone down, but it is the hardest thing in the world to be stoned and not open up the doordash app. juandonde

Damn you Taco Bell!

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"I'm an adult. I can eat whatever I want and whenever I want."

17 year old me would have a god damn stroke if I told him he can't eat $20 dollars worth of Taco Bell 5 nights a week.

dinosaregaylikeme

Choose cupcakes... 

When I first moved out I realized while I was at the store: "I could just buy and eat an entire cheesecake." I did. I have never felt so full and sick. Tumtumtumtumtums

Thank you Diet Coke... 

I ate at least 2000 calories of fast food in one shot because I had coupons:

  1. A large Beef N' Cheddar
  2. Two regular Beef N' Cheddars
  3. Large curly fries.

I threw up very shortly afterwards. Was it a wise decision? No. Do I regret it? Also no. They have the meats.

(and yes, I did have a Diet Coke.) Reddit

Mind your business..

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Eavesdropping. At one point my young self figured "well if I can hear it it's fair game," that ended pretty quickly after I overheard some upsetting family crap from listening in on my parents. Skullyta

Don't be evil...

Play with people's feelings... Bulbasaur2015

No kids. No Court Orders...

Marry or become involved with someone with young - under 12/13 years old - kids. Just Don't.

I love my husband, he accepted my broken self and loved me for who I am. I accepted, loved and cared for his 2 year old daughter like she was my own. Whatever our bio kids got, she got. For real. BUT her family, because I like routine and this strange thing called "boundaries," they got nasty.

We spent the first 6 years of marriage being dragged through family law courts for their shits and giggles, laughing at us when we asked them to consider that we weren't able to care for the "precious child" they were fighting to steal away, because we were having to pay ongoing legal costs. Her mother was a wealthy, drug addicted, party girl. She abandoned my step daughter, neglected her and threatened to throw that beautiful kid out of a 7th floor window. All told, it cost us $30 000 in 2000-2001. I literally was working for a year and a half to pay a lawyer. We eventually fired the (incompetent) lawyer and self represented. Which, by the way was a bold move that paid off for us. Part of the issue was serious sexual abuse allegations against an adult that we had to protect our girl from, as well as to institute mechanisms that she'd be safe in her (recovered) mother's care.

Eventually we beat them into submission (the power of self representation is underrated if you are intelligent and capable of learning from everything at your disposal) - I negotiated with their legal team as a non-lawyer and we walked out with our girl's safety guaranteed.

Don't get me wrong, I love him and her and wouldn't change a thing. But it financially crippled us, the repercussions are still with us 18 years on. Our kids have missed out on many things but the balance of that being their half sisters safety was without question worth it.

I just really hope that other people can learn something from our experience, that it is a massive gamble to be with someone who has a kid and no court orders in place. Just be clever about that decision. It has lifelong repercussions. _LuckyDucky_

Crazy Old Rich Guys...

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Around 25 years ago now (Hard to believe its been so long.) Some of my colleagues and I were getting a fairly luxurious trip to a new amusement park that a guy needed us to come inspect. The guy shows up in a helicopter to take is out there. This guy clearly had "f**k you" money.

We all head out to his newly constructed park and all seemed a little to good to be true. As the day progressed my colleagues and I were seeing all of these special rides this crazy rich dude had set up. It was nuts.

Towards the end of the day we took an automated tour of the grounds (pretty lame if you ask me.) The stupid thing broke down while we were all out there and some of the crew had to come pick us up. They managed to pick up some of us but others got left behind and ended up getting lost in the woods. Now there are two kids out there with a stranger in the woods, and one guy got eaten by a T-Rex! I was obviously upset so I turned to that old rich guy and spat out the sickest burn of all time, I'm still proud of this one. I said, "Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."

Got 'em. MrFriend92

Block them fools! 

Message/friend your Ex on social media!! Kharn0

Portion Control yo! 

My husband is out of town, which rarely happens, so I wanted to eat all the food I like the way I like it. And I did. And 20 hours later, I still feel miserable. It was mostly a bunch of potato chips, spaghetti with butter, candy corn, and cake. I don't know what lunch at work is today, but I'm praying there is a salad. Oof. Even the mozzarella sticks I bought for dinner tonight aren't seeming to be appetizing. Beachy5313

Stick with vodka...

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Burger Challenges cause the waitress is cute and told you to do it. 13 beers deep, Burger the size of my head and a pound of poutine.. my tummy hurt. Engineer_ThorW_Away

Seriously?! 

Ate a bar of deodorant as a kid because I saw this 1 "prank" video where he exchanges it with cheese and I thought it also happened to ours. Jasper83YT

Sit down... 

Got into a long debate at a party about the laws regarding riding a bicycle while intoxicated. I finally found the laws on my phone and proved it was legal where I live.

Later that night I ate crap riding my road bike drunk. One of my eyes was swollen shut for 2 days. 0/10 would recommend. halfcafsociopath

Suck up that Vitamin C

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Showing up to work on your first day of catching a cold. When you think you still might have the energy, but you feel like a wreck soon after lunch. Bunchofbees

That's not a talent! 

Biting your toenails. I have no story, I'm just flexible and have a habit of biting my fingernails. alblom

REDDIT

We're all self-conscious about something, and it doesn't help when our faults get thrown in our faces. You don't want doctors hinting that something is "weird down there," nor do you want someone to tell you you're balding. WE KNOW.

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Fox News, @hewster1369/Twitter

A guest on Fox News is being roasted online after his unusual description of how one would get high on marijuana.

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Hmmmm, I don't think THAT'S your essay....

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When you know your kids backwards and forwards, this is the best tool in your arsenal.

Getting our kids to listen to us is not always the easiest of tasks. They're willful and stubborn, but we've got a mighty weapon they are rarely prepared for: reverse psychology. Getting them to convince themselves to want to do something against their own initial intentions takes some work and a whole lot of creativity, but a little sneaky manipulation goes a long way. Here are some clever parents' tricks that are definitely worth taking notes on.

Redditor u/LeanderD Asks:

Parents of reddit, what's your best example of reversed psychology on your kids that actually worked?

He Floated His Idea Through A Back Channel

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Wanted to name my boat. Anything I would think of was dismissed as stupid by my 13 year old son. After deciding on a name, I confided to a male friend my son liked. Made my friend suggest the name as though it was his idea. My son thought the name was perfect. Done.

calypsodweller

We Always Want What We Can't Have

One of my best friends through childhood used to be punished with no salad if she misbehaved. She cherishes salad now and would always try to eat as much as possible during school lunch. Coincidentally, her now husband used to be punished with no books, it had the same effect. I think it's hilarious that they'd be hitting the salad bar and library like some black market their narc parents couldn't reach hahaha.

cookiearthquake

A Deceit That's A Cut Above The Rest

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Don't know if this counts, but, at my high school (private, boys only) in the 1960's, they made a big deal about how long your hair was, and would occasionally order a boy to go home and "get a haircut".

I thought it was stupid, until years later, a master confided to me at a reunion that the policy was deliberate. The school figured we'd spend so much energy rebelling about hair length, that we would ignore other aspects of teenage rebellion. (Not?) Surprisingly, they were mostly right.

FrankDrakman

Damn! That's smart. Wow.

fangxx456

Oh they don't like long hair?

I'll show them. I'll grow my hair out as lon- what?! No I don't want to go "party"? I gotta try out this horse shampoo.

DankeyKang11

The Forbidden Book

Hi I was a victim,

There was a forbidden book that I was not allow to read on the shelf. My parents said I could only read it if I behave myself.

It was summer holidays and I was playing games all day (after 6 hrs of summer homework). One day I was home alone and had the opportunity to grabbed it. I read like half of it in one go. It was 5000 years of Chinese history.

Safe to say I was bamboozled.

oddstodd

Flowers Of The Queen

My parents always told me my broccoli were the flowers of the queen and that I really shouldn't eat them, or else the queen would get very upset! I, of course, ate the whole broccoli in a few seconds.

Subwoofy

I'm telling the queen and she's gonna be pissed

draculacletus

Sleeping Beauty

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I taught my kids when they were toddlers that no amount of yelling, shaking or hitting can wake a sleeping adult. The only thing that works is a gentle hug and/or a nice kiss on the cheek.

Edit: Probably needed some more details for the reverse psychology aspect to be clear. It went something like this - Step one, tell the kids I'm going to sleep and nothing they do will wake me (head buried face down is the safest position). Step two, after the initial onslaught dies down pretend to awaken on your own. Tell them you got a bit of nap left in you and nothing can wake you, especially not hugs and kisses.

DrMethusael

Holy sh*t...if my daughter woke me up like this I would buy her a pony.

All-Seeing_Elon

I am saving this comment because this will save lives if I ever have kids, stg.

smerter

A Walk In Someone Else's Shoes.

Split custody with my ex. When my son was around 10, he visited two weekends a month. I was waiting tables and didn't have a huge amount to spend, but he was so needy from divorce (and I'm not blaming him, it was ugly), he begged constantly for MORE when he was with me. Whatever more was, it didn't matter... he'd be eating ice cream cone and begging for teriyaki.

I finally realized that he just felt empty, and getting MORE whatever from me wasn't filling him up. His next visit I handed him $100 in cash and told him it was our food/fun budget for 3 days and two nights, and he was in charge of it. I bought him his own wallet to carry. We figured out how many times we were going to eat and what we were going to do, and he paid. He got to keep whatever money he had left...thought he was rich...then realized just how much everything cost. Well. Shoe on other foot then. If we had no money for food, we ate leftovers - and I didn't contribute more to pot. After a few weekends of running short or not getting something he actually wanted because he was foolish with funds, he started to really think about how to spend that money. He budgeted and kept to his budget. And a few times he actually went home with a little cash for his private stash.

Many years later, he thanked me for this. It really changed the way he thought about money and love.

Augumenti

This Is Worth Giving A Shot

Took my 3 year old son to one of those doctor's visits where he was going to get a shot. He was worried about the shot on the whole drive over, almost to the point of tears. We get to the doctor's office and a nurse subtly lets me know that my son is not just scheduled for 1 shot, but 5 of them in the same visit.

I turn to my son with an exaggerated smile and tell him, "Good news! They figured out how to take that one big shot you were going to get and instead break it up into these 5 little tiny shots so it won't hurt nearly as much!"

You could see the relief wash over his face. He stopped squirming and relaxed completely. He took the first shot and even smiled and said "It's true! The small ones don't hurt!"

We actually made it through the third shot before the effect wore off and reality kicked in. Still... I counted it as a victory.

blackbird77

Put This To The Taste

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My mom would tell me she only lets me eat soup after candy and she'd only buy me candy that i didn't like. After a few times, i stopped trying and begged her to let me eat soup first. She gave me a smirk and told me go ahead. This doesn't sound as evil as it was. But trust me i suffered.

turkeypr0

So what was the candy?

Poster_Main

Mint chocolate, raisins, stuff like that. I still hate them to this day. Who the f--- thought while eating chocolate "hmm id like some tooth paste with this."

turkeypr0

This is Truckin' Awesome

Mum had sworn a bit around the house.

When 4, while out at the supermarket, I said F word really loudly.

Very quickly and intently, she asked if I had just said "Truck" and said that was a bad word and not to ever say Truck like that again.

I thought that was the bad word so used that when being naughty.

GodOfTheThunder

The "Silly Mom" Routine

The "Silly Mom" routine.

My kid, and a few other kids I've known, would balk at getting ready to go. I'd grab their clothes and say, "Well, if you won't put on your clothes, I guess I'll put on your clothes. Cute shirt, by the way! Does it go on my foot?"

NO!

"Does it go on my head?"

NO! IT GOES ON ME!

"Oh, that's right, thanks! So, it must go on your legs, right?"

NO!

"I just can't figure this out! Where does this adorable shirt go?"

[kid grabs shirt and puts it on] ON MY TUMMY! SILLY MOM!

"Oh, thank you so much! Now what about these pants? Shirts go on tummies, so...the pants go on the tummy, too, right?"

NO!

[continue until kids have dressed themselves]

I would also do things like hand the kid my keys and say, "Alright, you're driving, I'll sit in the booster seat in back," attempt to feed the kid by putting a spoon up to his ear or his belly button, and attempt to put away his toys in the refrigerator.

insertcaffeine

Some Foot For Thought.

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My mum would always yell at us "if you don't do X, you have to go to bed without socks!"

I never wore socks anyway, and I'm ashamed to admit that this worked.

Splittsky

That would work really well on my son, or make him cry for a really long time... He's 3 and over the last few weeks has decided that he is fully unable to sleep without socks on.

PJQueen

Toddlers man. Completely unpredictable.

SheaRVA

I'm Greens With Envy

My mum had a friend that would put vegetables on her own plate and not the kids.

When the kids asked she would be reluctant to share, "that's grown up food. But I suppose I can let you have a little."

Her kids grew up loving vegetables.

I sat at the dinner table for 3 hours staring at the yucky cauliflower I refused to eat.

laik72

This reminds me of an instance when my child convinced my wife and myself to change our plans for dinner. We were in a grocery store to pick up something quick and easy to eat that we wouldn't have to prepare. Our daughter, wanted none of that, she demanded that she wanted a salad from the salad bar. We started to argue back, but then realized: "Our child demands that we feed her vegetables for dinner instead of a microwaved meal, why are we saying 'No?'"

We had salad for dinner that night.

Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

The Power Of Choice

I don't so much know if you would call it reverse psychology, but I didn't realize it until my dad told me this.

When there were chores that needed doing, he noticed if he asked me to mow the lawn, I would complain and procrastinate. But if he asked would I rather mow the lawn or wash the windows, I'd pick one and just get it done.

Shattered my brain when he told me when I was in my twenties. I use it when I'm coaching or baby sitting all the time and it almost never fails.

AppealToReason16

The Boy Who Cried 'Ouch'

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I've done this one with tens of kids. Any time a kid gets "hurt" (falls down on grass, gets gently hit in the face with a ball, etc.) instead of stopping the activity to pick the kid up and see if they're ok you just scoot them off to the side and resume. Within 10 seconds of not getting all the attention and seeing the fun is resuming they pop right back up and are magically healed.

This of course is only for the "injuries" that aren't actually injuries.

pedanticProgramer

Kelly Sullivan/Getty Images

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