Being pregnant is full of new responsibilities.
Sometimes, the obligations we were previously comfortable with suddenly feel like too much to handle.
But when one woman explained that their new puppy had become too much for her, her boyfriend had other thoughts.
Redditor "LabelMeIntrovert" posted to the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit, wondering if he was in the wrong for disagreeing with his girlfriend about their puppy being an overwhelming obligation.
The boyfriend asked the thread:
"[Am I the a**hole] for telling my 9 month pregnant [girlfriend], we are not getting rid of our 4 month old puppy just because she's getting 'overwhelmed'?"
He explained his girlfriend is almost ready to deliver and just recently decided to get a puppy.
"For starters she's 39 weeks, she's literally about to pop."
"She also got the dog without consulting me, it was literally a spur of the moment thing with her, and not one time did I b**ch about it, or trip. He's the loveliest Golden Lab mix with green eyes."
He did say the puppy has a lot of energy.
"I will say he's a handful, and though our apartment is spacious, it's only but so big. I feel like he sleeps most of the time, but when he's in play mode, he can be a bit much."
But he also said there could be a reasonable solution for that energy.
"I pretty much chalk it down to the lack of special attention, obviously she's pregnant so the urge to take him out and walk him on a consistent basis while I'm at work is rather non existent."
"I'm not saying she doesn't at all, but I feel like a properly trained dog is gonna behave and adhere to house rules."
"I take him out at least twice a day, and to the park at least twice a week, though I'm well aware that he should be at the park more."
He also thinks this is on her for getting the puppy without consulting him.
"Secondly I just feel like she's missing the principle. She took on the responsibility, and now she's 'overwhelmed'."
"She even laughed when her sister in law suggested we put him on the side of the road at her sister's mother day dinner... Not to mention she rushed into finalizing to move into our current apartment which she low key hates. She's a serial offender when it comes to this type of stuff."
The boyfriend also thinks this is just another example of her getting what she wants.
"Furthermore, I feel like I compromise with literally everything, whenever her 4 nieces and nephew want to come over I might b**ch, but I give in."
"I give in to whatever she wants to eat, whatever she wants to drink, when we order food, I pay all the bills and utilities, I pay whenever she needs her hair done, etc..."
"She literally has zero responsibilities. She hardly cooks, or cleans, and I get it she's pregnant."
"I just feel as though, she can be a really selfish person at times, but this time she's gone too far."
The boyfriend claims this is the one thing he wants.
"I've invested financially and emotionally into the dog, and we haven't even had him a full month."
"She gave me an ultimatum, which is 'Me or the dog'."
"I responded no, 'it's me and Cujo or nothing'. She also named him Cujo."
"I could be wrong in this entire situation, but I'm not budging."
The boyfriend turned to Reddit, asking if he was in the wrong for staying committed to the dog.
Redditors anonymously wrote in to share their views, rating the situation on the following scale:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
One Redditor reassured the boyfriend, saying she was in the wrong for not committing to the puppy she adopted.
"NTA!! You're right; a dog is a lifelong commitment (edit: lifelong commitment for them obviously, why are so many people confused by this?), and you both took on that commitment when you got him."
"Don't make him suffer and lose his family - animals are living creatures with feelings and attachments just like people, and they get severely affected by abandonment. Your gf is SO wrong and being so selfish, especially when she's the one who got him without thinking about it and without consulting you."
"So many people have pets (including young pets) when they start families, and they do just fine; you guys will be fine too."
"He's just being a puppy at this point because he's so young; he'll grow out of that stage with time. And like you said, with the proper training, he can become very well behaved. You sound like you're providing him with good care and a loving home (with you, anyway). He's lucky to have such a dedicated and loving dad like you." - MyBunIsMyBestFriend
A few went so far as to suggest the girlfriend was also an unfit mother because of her alleged track-record.
"Maybe she shouldn't keep the kid or the dog, if she's that selfish." - BanjoTannerIsHere
"Maybe it's time to rehome the GF..." - the_twisted_mentat
"Just piggybacking here... she can't handle a month with a rambunctious puppy (who will calm down pretty quickly, labs get to be sleepy, lazy things real quick lol), but she's about to have a screaming infant for the next year minimum? She's gunna have a hell of a wake up call."
"A lab pup is noooothing compared to that toddler when it starts walking and destroying everything lol. Make her keep the dog, and make her take better care of it, she obviously needs the practice."
"OP, you should ask her if she'll leave her kid on the side of the road when he/she is too tired to deal with the energy. NTA, of course." - stripeyspacey
Others felt the boyfriend was also in the wrong because of wanting to teach his girlfriend a lesson more than to provide the puppy a loving home.
"This is why I think that ESH. The dog will be home with her all day and she's going to be busy with a newborn. If she's not making the effort now to interact enough with the puppy, she definitely won't after the baby comes."
"And he won't be around enough to make up for that. That's not fair to the puppy. As the puppy gets older without training, the more effort and patience it will take to train him."
"Let's face it. She's not going to do it and they should find the puppy a home now, rather than wait til it's bigger and untrained and harder to find someone to take him." - delightedtomeetu2
"Shes bad either way. But you can only control what you do with it. If you can't give enough attention to the dog and she definitely won't then what's best for the dog, you standing firm on principle or finding the dog a good home now when the potential of being rehomed is higher?" - PerfectZeong
Caring for children and animals is a full-time commitment that should not be taken lightly. While a person could be a good parent to a child without ever having a pet, and vice-versa, they should demonstrate commitment either way.
Hopefully the couple will resolve this situation soon and decide what is best for the puppy before their baby comes.
*If you enjoyed this article, you can read more like it by clicking on the AITA link below.*
Training can go a long way to make life with a pet less stressful. The DVD Paul Owens, The Original Dog Whisperer presents Welcome Home! Ultimate Training Guide For All Newly-Adopted Puppies and Dogs is available here.
note on @mychal3ts/Threads post