People Describe The Dumbest Ways They've Ever Injured Themselves

The first time was bad enough.

The Poor Demonstration

"I pulled a muscle in my back by twisting suddenly."

"A few weeks later, a friend commented on me seeming better, and another friend asked how I hurt my back in the first place."

"I said 'Well, I did this...' and proceeded to injure it again."

– BadgerSituation

Once More With Feeling

"One time I sprained my ring finger."

"Once it was essentially healed, I tried to do a flip onto my bed and sprained it again."

– Kyle102997

Taking a leap of faith takes guts, but it takes smarts to know when you're in for a bad landing.

Chairs Are Meant For Sitting, Not This

"I tried to stage dive at a youth club once and landed in the stacks of chairs between the front of the stage and the dance floor. Broke my arm in 3 places......."

"I was young though!"

– PokeVentRoss 

Macho Man Fail

"True story."

"When I was five, my cousin and I were playing wrestling and I loved the Macho Man Randy Savage."

"So I get the brilliant idea to climb the fireplace and then on top of my Dad's 65-70 inch big box projection screen TVs (the ones that were like two feet deep; this is like 20 yrs before flat screens) and get ready to do the Macho Man's signature move, the flying elbow drop."

"As I go for it, my foot gets caught on the cable box cable wire and I fall, thumb first into the ground."

"To this day, I'm 35, I still can't bend my left thumb all the way."

– holdinginafart 

Miscalculations are ideal setups for painful accidents.

The Wrong Direction

"i was opening something with a knife and i cut towards myself instead of away VERY dumb."

– ransom0374 

Why Staple Guns Need To Be Away From Children

"When I was a kid, there was a staple gun on the table for some reason. I knew that it shot out staples, but didn't understand it very well. I thought that they came out the end."

"So for a bit of fun, I rested it in my leg, aimed it at the clock on the wall and pushed down on the trigger."

"Drove one of those massive staple gun staples right into my kneecap."

– thewhitedeath 

Bad Aim

"Jumped out the school bus door, hit head on top of door, landed on @ss."

"Broke tailbone."

– Knute5 

Catch Me

"At my childhood home we had a trampoline right beside the stone-tile terrace. My babysitter was walking out with a basket in her arms and for some reason my pigeon brain thought it'd be a brilliant idea to launch myself up and jump into her arms. She got a fright and stumbled backwards instead of trying to catch me (fair enough) and I made some impressive airtime before landing on my forearms on the rock, hard."

"Fractured both arms, huge scrapes and contusions on my hipbones and knees, and nearly cracked my forehead like an egg thanks to the recoil. Good times."

– oknecessary_ 

These were simply too hot to handle.

Avoiding A Mess

"I was cooking dinner, roommate had just cleaned the stove. One of the pots boiled over a bit and made a mess. I didn't want to leave it like that and ruin all my roommate's hard work so I moved the pot, got a paper towel and lifted up the metal burner grate. I got it about shoulder height when the pain in my fingers reminded me that it would have been a lot better to have waited for it to cool down first."

– idiotsarray

Scared Teacher

"I thought, 'Hmm, maybe walking into a school science lab when there doing experiments using Bunsen burners is an amazing idea.' I walked in and the teacher got a fright, dropped a boiling tube full of boiling water onto my foot as it smashed. I'm so smart."

– PomPomPumpkinz

The following scenarios resulted in blood. Lots and lots of blood.

The Pedal Jab

"Mountain Biking, I enjoy doing it but it is dumb and I occasionally get hurt. Worst accident was getting the bicycle pedal stuck in my Achilles Tendon. Pulled it out, bleeding everywhere, wrapped my socks around it and continued on with my ride then ran into a tree. I never said I was good at it."

– CollegeZach

Catch The Knife

​"I was about 3 months pregnant and working in a bakery, I was pretty clumsy adjusting to my new body."​

"I was doing dishes and I accidentally knocked a brand new, very sharp serrated knife off of the magnet strip... and tried to f'king catch it. Being sleep-deprived, nauseated and clearly not thinking straight... I really tried to catch that b*tch and it nearly cut my last two fingers off of my right hand. I didn't really even feel it for a good 10 or so minutes."

"Side note: when you're pregnant your blood volume doubles. I didn't know this. This was a pretty gory scene that required a good amount hazmat clean-up. My awesome coworkers seriously pulled through in the next department to help out after I got rushed to the doctor's office."

– kenna-pink

I was ten when I had my bad injury trying to "impress a girl." I told her I was agile and fast and could run across these bleachers at a schoolyard.

There were three sets of bleachers with gaps I had to jump over that were maybe six feet apart. As this girl was anticipating a display of superhuman coordination, I successfully booked it across the first two set of bleachers.

That last gap, though, was a doozy. I leapt, but not far enough.

Without going into detail, my front teeth caught the edge of the last set of bleachers on behalf of my entire body.

Yeah, I didn't impress that little girl. I made her scream, instead.