I've heard wild stories from my friends in the medical field about what has been discovered inside patients, and I tell you, it has depleted most of faith in humanity's brainpower. Keep reading, you'll see why.

Tony is Stuck

"In my emergency medicine rotation, I saw a little boy who had put the headlight from his Lego Iron Man's motorbike up his nose and got it stuck up there."

"I removed it and we had a talk about how Iron Man says that heroes have to be sensible and not put things up their noses. All the while, I was contemplating the multitude of substances that Tony Stark has undoubtedly put up his nose."

- ifyouneedtotalkPM

Horrible Leftovers

"Coiled up iv tubing in the bladder that was calcified in a big bladder stone. Cambodian patient who had been tortured by khmer rouge years earlier. The tube was used in the torture to fill his bladder to bursting. After he was released they left the tube inside."

- tonvan345

The Surgeon

"My father-in-law (FIL) was a Red Cross trauma surgeon during the Vietnam war. One day the locals brought in a villager with a live RPG round sticking out of his side. No one wanted to operate on him. FIL sent the OR staff out of the tent, so it was just him and the patient."

"Then he piled a wall of sandbags with a small opening around the villager, and used surgical tongs to extract the RPG round while sitting on the other side of the sandbags. Then he sewed the guy back up. He was fine. FIL is about 5'2" and so mild mannered. You'd never guess it but he's a secret bada**."

- FNTM_309

A Spork?

"Urologist here. In training we had a repeat ER patient who always came in after sticking things into his bladder. He had previously cut off most of the shaft of his penis and now he could put things in far enough to make it into his bladder. He would stick gauze, pens, and the strangest was probably a plastic spork. He did this so often we stopped taking them out as long as he could urinate."

- tigerJeff

In the Womb

"Not a doctor but I remember a friend from my teenage years showing me an X-ray of his mother's womb with a pair of sharp scissors in there."

"Apparently when he was born, the doctors had to do a c-section and the surgeon accidentally left some scissors in there and sewed her up. I don't remember how long it took for them to realize it was still in there, but she obviously had to have surgery to get it out."

- a-guy-on-his-phone

What in the world? Like, who... how... WHAT?! And none of these stories mention people being drunk, high or crazed. Are people just bored? There are better things to do with your time y'all.

Nailed

"Obligatory not me, but my sister in law always tells the story of a construction worker who swallowed several long nails. The remarkable part was that he ended up being totally fine, never had any symptoms, and ended up pooping them out."

- Fair_University

8 ball from Hell...

"My wife is an RN for the ER and the stories that I've heard are almost unbelievable. Too many alcohol soaked tampons just yesterday. The funniest one though is the homemade sex toys. This guy had somehow drilled holes in billiard balls, ran a string through them and had his girlfriend put them where the sun don't shine."

- EDude7779

Civil Air Patrol

"Not a doctor but I was in the medical bay when I was in Civil Air Patrol. We had a guy come in with his wife (both members of CAP). His wife says there has been blood in his underwear she noticed while washing his clothes. He insists he was fine. After separating the 2 and hearing the stories this is what the guy says."

"Don't tell my wife. I've been having an affair and I have an angel with an approximate 12 inch wingspan all the way in my bum. We tried getting it out but we only snapped off one of the wings. It did end in a divorce and the guy had to wear a colostomy bag the rest of his life."

- Roach_335_

Back to Life

"My mother-in-law was an ER surgeon at one point, and always tells the story of a guy who came in with a budgie stuck up his butt - acted surprised when they identified it, but then cried something terrible when they informed him it was dead and no, they could not bring it back to life."

- Billbapierogi

I give up. And I'm even more thrilled that I didn't go into the medical field. Like people have lost control. Everyone... please don't stick crazy things in your body!!