People Divulge Their Go-To Signature Insults

I've deserved several good insults thrown at me. I can be a bit a tantrum starter. And then I write down what I'm hit with and use on others.

Brainstorm

"You only have two brain-cells, and they're both scrambling for third place." ~ Iloathwinter

"This reminds me of: 'you have two brain cells, one to keep a balance while walking and another not to poop on the floor.'" ~ L33K0R

Impossible...

"It’s impossible to underestimate you." ~ FourYearBeard

"Those who deserve this probably won't get it." ~ jennybella

"I'm so gonna use that." ~ AbaloneMore603

Say Sorry

"Go apologize to the trees for wasting the air they make for you." ~ abspencer22

"Drill sergeant in basic training made a guy apologize to all the trees for wasting their air. About 30 min of him running around yelling 'I'm sorry tree.'" ~ BjagzTTV

"I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face." ~ abspencer22

Kill It...

"You are a really good trier." ~ Roadkill_Bingo

"My wife tells me this... we were at a wedding last night and I thought I was killing it. We get back of the floor and sit at the table and I go..."

"I'm really feeling it tonight, I'm not a bad dancer..."

"She says..."

"Oh, hun...you're really good at trying."

"F**k... I love her." ~ KamikazeFox_

Envy

"I miss the time when I didn’t know you." ~ 221B_OO7

"Or, you can also say, I envy everyone who doesn’t know you." ~ dr4gonr1der

Ok, now, some of y'all are artists. Artists of the insult.

Fido Lerwks...

"If my dog looked like you I'd shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards." ~ jackatman

Good Days

“I hope you have the day you deserve.” ~ bigysmals

"This reminds me of what my grandmother would say to rude people, 'Well honey, I sure hope your day gets better.'" ~ milesunderground

“I hope you spend the rest of your life surrounded by people just like you.” ~ rawysocki

Bad Basics

"Wow, your signature looks like s**t." ~ whywasthatagoodidea

"I can't read or write cursive because i transferred schools before my past school taught it but after the other one had I still haven't learned it because I haven't found a need for it yet." ~ jershdahersh

The Great Battle

"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person." ~ Bizzlebanger

"It's is easy to win an argument with a smart person but impossible to win an argument with an idiot, henceforth I withdraw from this debate." ~ Grim75

"My favorite response to this one: then stop looking into the mirror." ~ blueavole

Ouch

"You are not being the person that Mr. Rogers knew you can be." ~ IronChariots

"Damn that’s heavy, Ken. Especially since we always knew he loved us just the way we are, had our backs, but knew we could be so much more." ~ I_Call_Everyone_Ken

It's Me

"I wish I was dumber so I could understand you." ~ OptimalF**kage

These Actors Were Perfectly Cast In Their Roles | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Relations

"Are your parents related or something?" ~ screwplease

"I said this to a kid when I worked in a toy store. His friend said 'is that what makes it so you can’t stop bleeding' and oh my God I made a mistake." ~ a**inyourpants

IQ Stat

"You have a room temperature IQ 'is pretty good.'" ~ BustyOgre

"I sure hope the speed limit is lower than your IQ, but I’m not holding out hope." ~ Patchy-Paladin20

PERFECT

"I hope you will have as pleasant a day as you are. Yes, I work in customer service." ~ Arazos93

"This. Is. Perfect. I'm gonna try to translate this to my own language and use it." ~ TheBirdGames

Crayola

"I have nether the time nor the crayons to explain it to you." ~ crazy-jay1999

"When someone is giving a difficult time understanding notes I’m making for them, I like 'I’d use a crayon but I’m afraid you’d eat it.'" ~ Eljaynine

The Dance

"My expectations of your intelligence were low but damn, here you are, limbo dancing with the devil." ~ SwiftRoboWolfBlue

"Your version missed an important part of the joke. I believe the original quote is: 'The bar was so low it was a tripping hazard in hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil.'" ~ MediocreHumanThing

Drop It

"You look like you drop common loot." ~ Ih8Evrythng

"Seriously underrated, that would speak volumes to any gaming community." ~ ExternalSad8524

Lead

"You have the personality of a pencil." ~ atomicrutabaga

"Maybe it’s the designer in me but i feel you could get really personal with this one. 'You have the personality of a 9b Pencil.' For someone really boring and really f**king wet behind the ears." ~ palov43075

GAS!

"I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!!" ~ Mr_DuCe

So Low...

"When I'm in a place where I cant properly insult someone I call them an ankle, as in you're a proper ankle, it seems harmless but an ankle is lower than a c**t." ~ irishtemp

I just spit out my coffee. This has to be a game show. Y'all crazy.

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