Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Dana Carvey Channels His Nuttiest John Bolton on Colbert—& It's Unsettlingly Amusing

Dana Carvey Channels His Nuttiest John Bolton on Colbert—& It's Unsettlingly Amusing
CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images

On Friday, March 23, President Trump appointed former United Nations ambassador John Bolton to replace H.R. McMaster as his National Security Advisor. The news that McMaster was going to be replaced didn't come as a surprise to many—he and the President had butted heads for quite some time, and in the wake of Hope Hicks' departure as Communications Director, Trump has been much less hesitant about shaking up the personnel at the White House. What DID surprise many was the appointment of Bolton, an obscure Bush-era diplomat with a reputation for aggressive tactics and threatening behaviors. Stephen Colbert thought the issue warranted some discussion with Bolton himself (as played by Dana Carvey).


Carvey's Bolton is as hilarious as it is terrifying.

In the clip, "Bolton" swings by the show to ease Colbert's fears, but quickly makes matters much worse. He threatens to chase Stephen down a hotel hallway flinging staplers at him, and also mentioned sending some "big fat tanks" into North Korea. Meanwhile, his mustache grew ever larger because it "gets a bit engorged when it smells a war coming on."

Bolton's mustache even weighed in on the performance:

But it turns out Carvey's impression is a little too close for comfort.

Bolton was actually blocked from his original U.N. appointment by Congress, who kept him away from the position after receiving a message from over 60 retired diplomats speaking against him. Though Bolton's professional career is plenty controversial (he once said that if the U.N. headquarters "lost ten stories, it wouldn't make a bit of difference"), his former colleagues major problem with him was one of character.

During his confirmation hearings, his mistreatment of underlings and embellishment of facts both became sticking points.

In 2005, TIME ran an article detailing some of Bolton's alleged incidents. Here's a particularly revealing excerpt:

Government sources tell TIME that during President Bush's first term, Bolton frequently tried to push the CIA to produce information to conform to—and confirm—his views. "Whenever his staff sent testimony, speeches over for clearance, often it was full of stuff which was not based on anything we could find," says a retired official familiar with the intelligence-clearance process. "So the notes that would go back to him were fairly extensive, saying the intelligence just didn't back up that line."

Those episodes, sources say, frequently involved statements Bolton wanted to make about the malign intentions and weapons capabilities of Cuba and North Korea. Two analysts—one at the State Department and the other at the CIA—told the committee they had run afoul of Bolton in 2002 after they warned that he was making assertions in a speech about Cuba's weapons programs that could not be backed up by U.S. intelligence. Bolton, they said, tried to have them removed from their jobs. Witnesses say that after one of the analysts, Christian Westermann, wrote an internal memo warning of Bolton's embellishments, he was summoned to Bolton's office and subjected to a finger-wagging tirade. Westermann's boss at the time, Carl W. Ford Jr., told the committee in a public hearing two weeks ago that he considered Bolton "a serial abuser" of underlings and "a quintessential kiss-up, kickdown sort of guy."

​Bolton eventually bypassed Congressional approval by filling a vacancy left by his predecessor.

Well, if things get bad, at least we'll always have this photoset of Dana Carvey in progressively larger mustaches to keep our spirits high!

H/T - Huffpost, TIME, CNN

More from Entertainment/celebrities

Daniel Radcliffe
ANGELA WEISS / AFP via Getty Images

Fans Are Loving 'Short King' Daniel Radcliffe's Tony Awards Red Carpet Photos With His Taller Girlfriend

We've all known a man or two who's hypersensitive and obsessed with his height, perhaps with good reason: the "short kings" among us are often the butts of lots of jokes online.

And many are the short men who say they're unbothered by their height but would never dare date someone taller than them.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Rosie O'Donnell; Donald Trump
Variety; Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

Rosie O'Donnell Skewers 'Psychopath' Trump In Unfiltered Red Carpet Interview At The Tony Awards—And She's Spot On

Actor and comedian Rosie O'Donnell called President Donald Trump a "psychopath" when asked about him by a reporter for Variety on the red carpet at the Tony Awards on Sunday night.

O'Donnell and Trump have feuded for years and O'Donnell, fearing the worst once Trump won the 2024 election, moved to Ireland shortly before he was inaugurated. She has cited the risks Project 2025 and Trump's potential retribution pose to her and her nonbinary child.

Keep ReadingShow less
Pete Hegseth
Kiran Ridley/Getty Images

Pete Hegseth Blasted After Using D-Day Remembrance Speech To Gripe About Immigrants In Europe

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth was criticized after using a D-Day remembrance speech to complain about immigrants coming to Europe.

The D-Day operation on June 6, 1944, united the land, air, and sea forces of the Allied armies in what became the largest amphibious invasion in military history. Codenamed Operation OVERLORD, this massive endeavor landed five naval assault divisions on the beaches of Normandy.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Donald Trump and Kristen Welker
NBC

Trump Just Tried To Blame His 'Meet The Press' Tantrum On The Weather—And Nobody's Buying It

President Donald Trump was criticized after he abruptly stormed out of an interview on Meet the Press on Sunday only to blame his tantrum on the rain.

Trump left after repeatedly insisting, without evidence, that both the 2020 presidential election and California's gubernatorial race were rigged. During the exchange, moderator Kristen Welker noted that California's lengthy ballot-counting process is routine, but Trump pointed to the ongoing tally as proof of wrongdoing.

Keep ReadingShow less
Woman putting cupcakes in oven; Message from u/Duskymoonlight/Reddit
BongkarnThanyakij/Getty Images; u/Duskymoonlight/Reddit

Beginner Baker Didn't Realize You're Not Supposed To Put Decorations On Until After Baking—And The Photos Are Priceless

We all have our own unique talents, and it's actually kind of awesome that they're not all the same.

That said, one of the best reasons to try something new is the potential laughs we'll get out of it.

Keep ReadingShow less