People Reveal The Absolute Best Insults They've Seen Someone Land

So many insults to choose from...

"You look like someone who would pre-heat the microwave."

~ triggamon

Some are one-liners.

"It could be that the purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others."

~ triggamon

Others require a little set up.

"My bestfriend and I were roasting each other.

"Me: 'What are you going to say to me that my parents haven't already said?'"

"Her: 'I'm proud of you'."

~ Normal-Kangaroo9209

"I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong."

~ triggamon

"It’s not worth insulting you as nature has already done enough damage."

~ triggamon

"Heard one of my sister’s bullies call her fat and mock her weight at school."

"She just yelled back 'B*tch you’re the f'king ugliest thing I’ve ever seen, I can lose weight, what the f'k are you going to do about that face?'”

~ ViciousFlowers

“You think in low power mode.”

~ triggamon

“You’ve got two brain cells left and they’re competing for third place”

~ kirbyourenthuasiam

"I like 'you only have two brain cells, but one of them is lost and the other went looking for it'."

~ MurderousButterfly

"Or 'you only have two brain cells left, and they're each trying to bum a smoke off the other'."

~ The_Lab_Rat_

"You are living proof that the education system needs better funding."

~ triggamon

“Wisdom has been chasing you, but you’ve always been faster.”

~ triggamon

“You’re as smart as you look.”

~ triggamon

"Random dude online told me to go back to Mexico when I made a joke about the US medical insurance costs."

"I corrected him saying I was Canadian, and he replied with 'stfu, you're just a snow Mexican then'."

"For some reason I just immediately imagined a dude removing snow off his car while wearing a sombrero and laughed for a good 3 minutes."

~ PleasingPotato

"Que pasa, eh?"

~ VolatileUtopian

"As a Canadian living in Texas, my stepdad would call us icebacks."

~ Dudhist

"I can only explain it to you, I can't understand it for you."

~ triggamon

"You're intellectually on the ground already and what do you do?"

"Begin to dig."

~ triggamon

Self owns are rife with opportunities.

"My friend got in a heated argument with her son (nothing new, they’re both hot-tempered) and she called him a son-of-a-b*tch and he said 'that’s right, I am!!' And they both cracked up laughing."

~ Sola_Bay

"My cousin jokingly called her teenage son a son-of-a-b*tch and I laughed and said 'You just called yourself a b*tch!' and then she told me to f'k off. It was great!"

~ Damn_Dog_Inappropes

"My friend once had the same thing happen and shouted back: 'At least we can agree on something, MOM!' His mom was pissed as soon as she figured it out a hot second later, but his dad tried his hardest to keep a straight face."

~ Lord-Redbeard

“You look like you have a favorite flavor of glue.”

~ triggamon

"I envy people that didn't get to know you."

~ triggamon

"In elementary a kid once shouted at me 'you're so weird, you probably were able to read the paper when you were THREE YEARS OLD!!'."

"Basically he called me 'smart' to my face."

~ kuunwiir

"Unintentional compliments are the best. You know they aren’t lying because they tried to insult you."

"My brother said to me ‘you look 16 at age 20' and I was like 'OMG THANKS'."

~ Easy_Set4108

"You behave like someone who snacked on lead paint too often as a child."

~ triggamon

"You're not the dumbest person on Earth, but if I were you I'd hope that person doesn't die soon."

~ triggamon

"In my early teens I told a good friend of mine (roughly translated) 'Dude, you're like the king of all dumba**es!'."

"Without missing a beat he asked 'Shouldn't you obey me, then?'."

"At that point I had to admit I had indeed gotten got. It's been over 20 years and it still burns a bit."

~ Celphii

"I'd explain it to you in a way even you'd understand, but I have neither the time nor the crayons."

~ triggamon

"Your self-confidence contradicts your expertise."

~ triggamon

"My friend and I were at a place known for its clubs and drinking spots. We were waiting for our car when a man was hitting on us and inviting us to drink."

"Dude told us he's 47 and without hesitation, I asked 'Oh, so are you here with your kids?'."

"My friend was holding in a laugh while I was just clueless why, then I realized I pretty much called him an oldie."

~ kwirinkyy

"Some tree is woking its a** off to produce the oxygen you're consuming."

"You owe that tree an apology."

~ triggamon

"I had a Mexican girlfriend who was self-conscious about her bad grammar in English. She got into an argument with another girl in English."

"She suddenly turns to me and points at the other girl and says, 'she is a little b*tch', then just jumps back into the argument. I found it a bit odd, but whatever."

"Afterward I ask her were you trying to bring me into the argument by telling me she was a little b*tch? She said 'no, I just wanted to call her a little b*tch and wasn't sure if it was, you are a little b*tch or you is a little b*tch. I knew she is a little b*tch was correct so I said that, but I couldn't say that to her, so I just said it to you'."

"The delivery carried some weight, and there were many subtle elements, although unintentional. There was uninvolved 3rd party verification, and it felt like she was undermining her that she was such a little b*tch that she didn't even bother directly telling her."

"It was very effective. The other girl was visually dissed."

~ MoneyShotMalone

"My expectations towards you were low and what do you do?"

"The limbo."

~ triggamon

So do you have a favorite comeback?

If not, you have some to choose from now.