Relationships are hard, and sometimes, they're confusing. When you're having a problem with your partner, or you're inexperienced and looking for lessons, you turn to your friends and family for advice.
Sometimes, the advice is sound and helps make things better.
Other times, the advice is trash and makes everything worse.
Redditors know this all too well, and are sharing the worst relationship advice they've ever gotten.
It all started when Redditor Spectrelegit asked:
"What is the worst relationship advice you've ever heard?"
Loyal As A Dog
"Any "loyalty tests". Always a bad idea."
– thedawntreader85
"Heard a youtube therapist once say that as soon as you decide to do a loyalty test, you've already decided the relationship is over because either they fail and you can't trust them, or they pass and you show them that you don't trust them and they stop being able to trust you"
– ParkityParkPark
Choose
"Ultimatums fall under a similar category."
– GarbageTheClown
"If this is a current situation it sounds pretty toxic, and if you are unhappy I hope you get the support you need to make any changes."
– countzeroinc
Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend
"Spend 3 months salary on an engagement ring. This was literally started by the rich diamond families to increase sales."
– Samisoy001
"My girl literally threw a jewelry store book at me with the ring she wanted circled and happily said there was a coupon lol. It was like $80 but it's the one she wanted. We've been together for almost 10 years and happily married for nearly 3 now"
– shumi19
"Yeah it's ridiculous, there's lab created gems that are basically the same and a fraction of the cost."
– YouJabroni44
"I’ve said this to friends and family several times when they’ve asked me while stressing about picking out expensive rings:"
"if the ring is the problem, then the ring is not the problem."
– DamonHay
Not The Way To Go
"There was a Reddit post about a guy who told his partner that she stunk several times a day. Poor girl was horrified. It got to the point that she was showering incessantly, using industrial strength deodorants and he still complained non-stop."
"Paraphrasing here, but when finally confronted, it turns out his father had given him this sound advice: “Tell a women she smells bad, and she’ll never leave you.”"
"Daddy was wrong."
– UnderstandingEmpty21
Anything Doesn't Go
"That you only truly care if you're "ride or die.""
"An ex once told me that she thought if she pushed me far enough that I'd leave. I told her "Yes, I would leave. Why would I want to be with someone who thought so little of me that they'd push me far enough?""
"I had put up with a lot of abusive behaviour from her and it didn't last much longer before she tested my statement and I did exactly what I said."
– FancyMFMoses
"Totally!! And that you should love your partner “unconditionally” ie any behaviour goes. Nope"
– Rare-Republic-1011
Maybe Not The Right Person To Ask
"A friend of mine once prefaced some unsolicited advice about my 10-year marriage with the phrase, "I've been in dozens of relationships..." and then he went on to rant about how men shouldn't do the grocery shopping or something stupid like that."
– Odd-Sink-9098
"Right, we had a three times divorced friend who loved to give relationship advice. Most of it was BS."
– JanuarySoCold
"The Children" Need A Good Example
"Stay together for the kids."
"I was the child. Please don’t."
– ArtisticPolarBear23
"I was also the child. Your children know when you don’t love each other, when you’re fighting all the time because you decided to stay with someone you can barely tolerate. They will live with that knowledge and grow up with a warped perception of love and relationships because they were never given a proper example."
"They will either become obsessive and do whatever they can to make someone stay, or they’ll develop a fear of commitment that will ruin every relationship before they even get the chance to try it. Divorce can be messy, especially when kids are involved, but sometimes the alternative can be far worse. If you decide to have kids, do right by them."
– imscaledandicy
Nobody's Perfect
"“There is a perfect person out there”"
"No. No there isn’t. There is no such thing. People change as they experience life. To believe someone will stay the same forever is silly. Pick someone who you can grow with and shares common values with you. Everyone has to make some compromises and that includes someone making them on you too."
– BallTipSizzler
Not A Great Justification
"Being married is like eating spaghetti every night for dinner. No matter what sauce you put on it, it's still spaghetti. Sometimes a man needs to eat some steak once in a while."
"That was from my dad while trying to justify cheating on my mom."
– Feelin_Dead
Look Good For You
"My (very attractive but very unhappy in her own marriage mother) tried to make me believe that the secret of a successful marriage is to look desirable at every hour of the day and night . Make up, clothes, perfume… anything to keep the husband interested. Having a personality is nice but not necessary."
– ComplexPrinciple3636
"I feel guilty of this, although I also feel like I can take the time to get ready all I want, he’s still going to admire someone else and probably in front of you. Just get ready for yourself if it makes you feel better. I have always hated to go out in public to run into anyone bareface, whether it’s an old friend, someone who picked on me in school, an old crush."
"Not sure where it came from me being this way but growing up my parents made fun of me when I’d have no make up on. If I got bad grades or did something that upset them they’d take it away and give it back saying “I need it.” Then other days tell me I wear too much of it, like high school wasn’t enough already. I could never win."
– 1lilhedgehog
"I know several people who believe this and it’s sad"
– Arra13375
Don't Be Who You Are
"When I was a teenager, my mom told me to not let boys see I was smart because no man is attracted to a woman whose smarter than he is. Also, I should work on my laugh because no one would be attracted to my laugh."
– Educational_Use_9980
"Being smart and passionate about your interests is the most attractive thing ever"
– DogShampoop
Tell Me I'm Right
"Most people that come to you for relationship advice don’t want to advice they want you to validate the terrible decision they are about to make."
– IBdunKI
"I think your statement applies to advice in general. A lot of people to want to actually change or put in effort, they just want validation for their choices."
– BusinessBear53
Yeah, that tracks.
We cannot believe some folks are dishing out such advice!
Has anyone every told you something truly crazy to keep a relationship propped up? Let us know in the comments.
@GregAbbott_TX/X
