A woman with a long running rivalry with her twin sister asked Reddit if it was wrong to share her own good news on her sister's wedding day. But it seemed there was much more to the story.
Redditor sidecaramaia asked:
"AITA for 'announcing' my engagement at my twin sisters wedding?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"My twin sister and I, both 24, have always had some kind of weird rivalry. It's never really came from my side, always hers."
"Our dad left our family when we were 10 and because she wasn't that close to our mom and I was, it created the resentment she now has for me. We have ups and downs in terms of our relationship."
"About a week ago, my sister got married to her boyfriend of one year. I've never liked their relationship, nor did I approve of them getting married so soon, but I went to the wedding."
"My fiancé and I got engaged about a week beforehand, and due to her wedding she asked if I would keep it under the radar until after the wedding which I hesitantly agreed to."
"To me it was just a sign of insecurity. My fiancé and I have been together almost 7 years, she shacked up with the first person who showed interest."
"The wedding comes and it's all fine, until the reception. It was fairly large, and a lot of people who I hadn't seen since we graduated high school were there so I obviously took it as a chance to catch up."
"I've just got engaged, I'm not going to take my ring off to appease my sister, so naturally I got questions which I honestly responded to. I didn't go out of my way to tell anybody we were engaged, but if someone asked I told them, which I don't see anything wrong with."
"It's unlikely I'll see many of the attendees again so why should I have to wait?"
"Towards the end of the night, my mom and sister pulled me aside absolutely furious with me saying I'd made the night all about me, which I absolutely hadn't. It was a quick congratulations with each conversation and that was it."
"I didn't get on top of the stage and announce it."
"They've both cut me off for apparently being incapable of letting other people have their "time to shine" and pretty much everyone in our family and close circle of friends has told me I'm in the wrong."
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
"So like...if you just told us the situation with the wedding and none of the background involving you and your twin, (and how much you really seem to dislike her..) I would have gone with NTA, since it didn't seem like you were going out of your way to tell people, they were the ones who would ask about the ring on your finger."
"But I'm sorry, it just really seems like you were unconsciously trying to ruin this for your sister, and I'm sure there is way more back story involving you two, but just based on this alone I would have to go with YTA. Just try to apologize and move on, it doesn't even seem worth it to drag this out." ~ I-AM-NOT-A-TOILET
"YTA. Everyone else has told you so, why are you expecting a different answer here? The way you wrote about the situation and the way you went about it sounds so slimey and snakey."
"If you didn't want to do it, then you should have said no when they asked you to keep it under wraps."
"Definitely not a one sided rivalry, you're not as innocent as you make yourself out to be." ~ xreiachan
"YTA. Why is it a sign of insecurity that your sis doesn't want you running around telling every one about your engagement at her own wedding?"
"It's her day. Let her have it." ~ InsideTheBox67
"I'm sure her mom (that she was supposedly so close to) got this angry with her for just casually mentioning it to people."
"If she got pulled aside, she was making it all about her." ~ VROF
"IDK how much I believe you, you go out of your way to mention how you don't care for your sister's relationship, or when they decided to get married....and all of your family AND your closest and most biased of friends all think you're the asshole..."
"Gooonnna have to go with YTA." ~ Highclassbadass
Not that some Redditors weren't sympathetic.
"NTA if it comes up in a normal conversation, I don't see what's wrong about that." ~ Florida_Man666
"NTA simply because I don't think anyone should be forced to take off their ring for any reason. That said if it was simply only saying 'ya we are thanks' after someone brings it up noticing the ring then ya NTA but anything beyond that is in a**hole territory." ~ Paige0098
While there are definitely issues in this family, Redditors didn't think they justified the OP's actions on her sister's wedding day.