Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

The Sad, Drunk Toys 'R' Us Giraffe Just Went on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'

The Sad, Drunk Toys 'R' Us Giraffe Just Went on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'
Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images
Make us preferred on Google

On Wednesday, March 14, Toys "R" Us announced it would be closing or selling all of its U.S. stores in the face of almost certain bankruptcy. Since then, the once unquestioned king of toy sales has been endlessly eulogized on social media (though most of the stores have yet to actually cease operations). As a place where kids could be unashamedly excited and find cool products made just for them, the dying retailer holds a singular place in many consumer's hearts. But the closing of Toys R Us will have the largest impact on one person in particular: Geoffrey the Giraffe, an anthropomorphic savannah animal who is also Toys "R" Us's longtime mascot.


Geoffrey stumbled onto the set of "Jimmy Kimmel Live" on Thursday, March 15. He had a lot on his mind. It was not easy to watch.

Poor Geoffrey...

Giphy

Things started out innocently enough, with the mascot greeting the crowd in his usual buoyant tone, asking them:

Do you guys like toys?!

True to form, the audience responded with cheers! Geoffrey then dropped some bad news:

Well, I don't have any. Because we're bankrupt! *Giraffe Sobs*

Geoffrey said some things he couldn't take back.

When Jimmy told the giraffe everything was going to be okay, Geoffrey responded:

Oh no it's not! No it's not because all you b*****s bought toys on Amazon! Now I'm out of a job!

It was at this point Jimmy smelled the alcohol on Geoffrey's breath. Sobbing, Geoffrey sang the famous Toys "R" Us theme song:

I don't wanna grow up
I'm a Toys R Us kid
There's a million toys at Toys R Us that I can play with!
...but not anymore.

Twitter was equal parts mocking and supportive, strange as that may sound.

And fortunately, the stores up in Canada have yet to close (though many believe their days are numbered)!

Geoffrey blamed his store's failure on Amazon and other online delivery websites.

Everyone agrees the rise of online stores like Amazon, combined with increased prominence from big-box retailers like Walmart and Target, contributed to the toy store's demise. However, many are also pointing a finger at the private equity firms that saddled Toys "R" Us with $5 billion in debt. In last September's bankruptcy filing, Toys "R" Us revealed they had to spend $400 million every year just to manage their debt, which made it incredibly difficult to turn a profit, let alone pay for store improvement and upkeep. The company hasn't posted a full-year profit since 2012, and has lost $2.5 billion in that time.

But, to be honest, I doubt any of that will help poor Geoffrey. Our hearts are with you, old friend! Hopefully you'll pull yourself up by your bootstraps and find a new, happy life.

H/T - Huffpost, CNN Money, The New York Times

More from Trending

Meghan McCain
Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images

Meghan McCain Speaks Out After Video Of Her Sparks Cruel Comments From Body-Shaming Trolls

When it comes to sensitive subjects, some people make derogatory comments instead of having a hard conversation, either to pivot the focus or to try to feel superior.

In a podcast episode from just over a week ago, "Mamdani's Talent Knows No Limitations," Meghan McCain openly praised New York Mayor Zohran Mamdani and said plainly that Republicans "would be in trouble" and "should be scared" if the possibility were to ever arise for him to be able to run for President.

Keep ReadingShow less
Redditor jpdiv's photo on the 'Mildly Infuriating' subReddit
u/jpdiv/Reddit

Restaurant Patron Stunned After Waiter Leaves Note Urging Them To See Doctor After Noticing Worrisome Mole

Giving unsolicited advice is generally frowned upon and considered inappropriate, but when it comes to medical concerns, sometimes it's better to offer the advice just in case it could help someone.

In the "Mildly Interesting" subReddit, Redditor jpdiv shared an experience where they were visiting a restaurant, and before they left the venue at the end of their meal, a waiter gave them a note from a fellow restaurant patron.

Keep ReadingShow less
Man in restroom
Panuwat Dangsungnoen/Getty Images

Photo Of Guy Standing Right Outside Restroom Stall The Entire Time Someone Was Using It Sparks Debate About Bathroom Etiquette

Unfortunately, public restroom experiences can be very hit or miss, particularly when it comes to cleanliness, availability of toilet paper, and long lines.

Even more unfortunately, some people do not respect basic bathroom etiquette, like giving people space.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @scottiferr's TikTok
@scottiferr/TikTok

Steak 'N Shake Sparks Debate After Soda Machine Requires Scanning QR Code To Dispense Drinks

When it comes to drinks at fast food restaurants, where the drink machines are often self-serve, customers have done some pretty shady things.

From ordering a cup of water, only to fill it with soda instead, to bringing a water bottle or something similar and filling it at the machine, it seems some customers will stop at nothing to acquire a free drink.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @wife_mama02's TikTok video
@wife_mama02/TikTok

Viral TikTok Of Farmers Market Worker Allegedly Trying To Pass Off Produce From Grocery Store As Her Own Has Us Questioning Everything

Groceries are already expensive enough, and depending on where a person lives, they cannot guarantee the quality of the groceries that they're purchasing and eating. With many recalls going into effect right now, these concerns are especially important for produce.

TikToker Autumn of @wife_mama02 was alarmed when she went to the farmers market, only to catch an employee refilling a basket of blueberries for customers to purchase. The problem was that the employee was emptying out containers of what appeared to be store-bought blueberries into the bin.

Keep ReadingShow less