We put a lot of pressure on ourselves trying to make a good impression on a first date.
Even though our peers usually see us as confident and outgoing individuals, all that seems to vanish when we meet someone for the first time and our nerves make us seem like bumbling fools.
It happens to the best of us, and we ultimately hope there is a second date.
But aside from nerves jeopardizing our chances of a second date, there are a few unspoken rules to keep in mind.
Redditor Couch_Licker asked:
"What should you NEVER do on a first date?"
You would think the following are no-brainers. Still, many people are guilty of doing this.
Past Relationships
"Only talk about your previous relationships."
– Nevlu
"She talked about him so much I started to miss the guy."
– 2x4x93
Exes
"Discuss any particular ex for a length of time. In my experience it's a big red flag that they're not over someone or carrying that baggage. And I mean everyone has baggage - it's normal. I have some and expect the people I've dated in the past to have some. But a first date should be about exploring each other and whether you like the person, are attracted to them, want to continue getting to know them. You can mention previous relationships but unless both parties have known each other during previous relationships - do not vent or over explain your exes."
When Your Device Is More Important
"Be on your phone the whole time."
"Put it on vibrate and don't look at it except when you go to the bathroom. I walked out on a date because she was constantly replying to messages. They did not take it well."
Kindness Matters
"You really shouldn't be rude to service staff on any number date, or even on non-dates."
Romantic Detour
"Suggest you take a 'nice scenic drive' and then cruise past your ex's house repeatedly to see if their car is there."
When things seem to be going well, and the feeling is mutual, avoid these—At least right off the bat.
No Rush
"If it's through a dating app and you don't know the person you should never be too trusting and share too much. It's best to spend some time with someone to get to know them first. I think especially goes for women but applies to men as well."
"*Caveat there is the rare black swan out there and going with your heart and intuition is a good, bold and brave thing."
Ease Off On Being Cocky
"Try too hard to impress the other person. Try to find out as much about the other person instead. Interest is sexy. Bragging is not."
Cutting To The Chase
"Propose."
"My husband proposed on our first date. I was squicked out and nearly ran away. Then, after three months, he told all his friends he wanted to have a baby with me... They still make fun of him for it. We ended up getting married after having our second son (married by Elvis in Vegas). We now have four sons and have been married for 8 years (together 11)."
"I still recommend not proposing on the first date. Haha."
Food-Sharing Maneuver
"Once had a dude grab some of my food off of my plate with his bare hands. He was trying to do a cutesy sharing food thing but it was a poached egg. He grabbed a poached egg with his bare hands right off of my plate. Please do not be like that guy."
Causing Injury
"Break her nose. My now husband hugged me the way Lenny petted rabbits. He was happy to finally meet me in person after online relationship, was a virgin, and thought harder hugs mean more love. They do not."
"He still apologizes when it's brought up, lol."
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Not The Soup!
"Well, don't do what I did: order the French onion soup. This was a lunch date and I'm not sure what the hell I was thinking ordering something that both makes a mess (all that melted, stringy cheese) and gives you bad breath. My wife still gives me crap about that boneheaded decision to this day."
These Redditors were completely thrown by certain topics and unexpected cameos.
A Date And A Plus One
"invite your spouse. It's just so awkward."
– ickysam
"You think Im kidding but at least 10% of Tinder is two people looking to add someone else."
For A Later Discussion
"If you know the person you're dating is divorced, don't ask about it on the first date. Not a fun thing for them to talk about. You'll learn about it eventually if you end up going on more dates."
Curious About Kink
"Ask, 'What's your fetish?' It might sound okay but believe me, it doesn't work!"
Revealing TMI
"Revealing that you're a flat earther. This serious happened to me. This guy I met online seems okay. We went on a date and he started asking 'those type of questions that make people fall in love with you'. Idk if you know what I'm talking about. If that didn't weird me out enough, he went on and claimed that we worked for NASA and they lied to everyone. The earth is flat and those images we saw of earth are CGI renders. The US never landed on the moon and conspiracy sh*ts like that. Needless to say there was no second date."
– pink0205
Possession
"Unhinge your jaw and scream the dead sea scrolls in reverse."
"Oh so thats what i did wrong."
People on dating apps tend to feel more comfortable having conversations through messaging, but all that goes out the window when nerves take over on a first date.
The key takeaway is to not turn into someone else when you finally meet that person.
While that's easier said than done, just remember to breathe, act natural, and for goodness sake, don't talk about your exes and your used panty collection.
Bear hugs however remain debatable, as the Redditor who broke his date's nose wound up being the husband.
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